128. Ally Petitti on Anxiety, Health and Childhood Struggles, & Advice for Teens

Dec 27

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Today's guest is Ally Petitti—host of the popular podcast Trying To Figure It Out. On her podcast, Ally discusses toxic friendships, toxic relationships, mental health, and more. In this episode, we discuss how she started her podcast and her mental health journey, her advice for teenagers whose parents have divorced, her traumatic health experience, how she manages her anxiety through exposure therapy and EFT, and her tips for teens on mental health and starting college.

Alli's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allypetitti/?hl=en

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ Alli's Youtube

+ She Persisted episode on exposure therapy

SHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOC

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

[00:00:00] Sadie: Welcome to She Persisted. I'm your host, Sadie Sutton, a 19 year old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the University of Penn. She Persisted is the Teen Mental Health Podcast made for teenagers by a teen. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness.

[00:00:19] Sadie: You can expect evidence-based, teen approved resources, coping skills, including lots of D B T insights and education in. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted, Offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle, while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

[00:00:37] Sadie: So let's dive in this week on She persisted.

[00:00:42] I fill my plate with a million things to do in a day and I used to do that a lot in high school for sure. I was a part of every club. I was so busy at school, I didn't even have a minute to sit still.

[00:00:53] and that's what I'm learning right now. Stillness is everything. And when you're a kid, it's really hard to sit still. And so if I could give anyone advice, it would be to not be afraid to feel what you're feeling and to allow yourself sometimes to sit in the stillness because maybe if I had spent more time doing that, , , some of the things I've done that have made my mental health even worse now, I think might have been avoidable.

[00:01:15] Sadie: Hello, hello and welcome back to She Persisted. I'm so excited to have Ali Petitti on the podcast. We are talking about her experiences with mental health and physical health challenges. We were talking about what it's like when your parents go through a divorce. We were talking about anxiety and Ali's advice, wisdom and tips that she has accumulated on the way her journey of navigating all of these challenges. So as always, if you enjoy this week's conversation, make sure to share with a friend, family member, or on social media. And with that, let's dive in.

[00:01:46] Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Allie. I'm so excited to have you in. She persistent. I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me. Of course. So, I would love to start with your background. Talk about how you started working in the mental health space, talking about how you decided to start your podcast and what brought you to, sharing your journey on social media and through your podcast.

[00:02:06] Yeah, a hundred percent. So I am originally from New York. I grew up there and then moved to LA when I. 18 for college. I have struggled with my mental health since I was young. My parents got divorced at a super young age, and you know, I've been through a lot with my mom and, personal anxiety stuff has always been there.

[00:02:26] But then of course, when you're. Experiencing childhood trauma, that stuff just sticks with you and it comes out in ways that you don't even know it's going to when you get older. I'm the type of person I look back and I'm like, oh, my parents divorce didn't affect me. Like, I'm fine. I didn't think that that's why I'm a mess now.

[00:02:42] And it's like I'm learning every day that that is such a reason why I'm struggling. . And so once I started to notice how much work I've put into my mental health since I was six years old and how much I'm still struggling, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do something about this. I need to start speaking up about it because it just.

[00:03:05] It is so crazy how stigmatized mental health is. I think people don't even realize how much they are struggling. People don't wanna put a label on themselves. People don't want to admit to any struggling. And for me, I've noticed that sharing is healing. And anytime I talk about what I'm struggling with, I feel just a little bit better.

[00:03:23] And then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna take this, this to the podcast space, start talking about it. just openly without anyone actually in the room. It's so much easier. You get it? Like when you have a podcast, you. , get to record it in private, and then it doesn't really matter after you say it, because once you put it out, it's out and like no one's in the room watching you when you're taping.

[00:03:43] Yeah. It's just you and you have your moment to do that. I don't know if you do solo episodes, but I find those to be like full blown therapy. It's Oh, a hundred percent. So amazing. Yeah. So yeah. No, and it's almost when you're recording, you don't really process what you're saying and then you're listening back and you're like, oh, that, that does make sense.

[00:04:00] It's great. I love that advice. . Yeah. It's so funny. taping and I'm like, did I just go on a rant for like 20 minutes and then I'll listen back and I'm like, Ooh, I actually said something there that I didn't even realize. I said . Yeah, no, it's a great stream of consciousness. It's almost like journaling is how I like to think about it.

[00:04:15] I've never been a big journaler. I feel like my mind goes faster than I can write things down. So I always just get frustrated that everything isn't on the page. Whereas with podcasting, if it comes into your mind, you can say it. You can try and explain things in different ways. Mm-hmm. , and it's a lot more, almost intimate way of talking about things than writing or journaling or putting it on a blog.

[00:04:34] Like you really truly do get to share your personality as well. And it's just such a great way to connect with people. A hundred percent. I. So if I'm just getting started, but , that was fine. So if you were to go back to when you were a teenager and you were still in the mindset of like, I am just kind of going through life like my parents' divorce didn't impact me, you hadn't made those connections.

[00:04:55] Is there a piece of advice or wisdom or something you wish you would've known at that point that you can share with other teenagers who are now currently dealing with the aftermath of their parents getting divorced or they're going through that process? Yeah, I wish I kind of just slowed down a little bit and didn't think I had it all figured out.

[00:05:12] I think I convinced myself that I was just a kid struggling with panic disorder and I kind of put myself in one bubble and I'm learning so much now that mental health is such a, like anxieties an umbrella and then there's so much underneath it. I never knew I was depressed until this year and I think I've been depressed for way longer than I ever even realized.

[00:05:32] And so I think just. Don't be afraid of labels, and also don't get too stuck in a label of something that someone else says you're struggling with. If a therapist diagnosises you with something, or you know, if you're having a hard time figuring out what's wrong, it's okay. There doesn't have to be one specific thing that you struggle with or that you're in a specific pool of, like there's so many different things that could be going on and you kind of just have to feel it when it's happening.

[00:05:57] I'm definitely. An avoider. I hold things in and I try not to face them when it's happening and I'm like, oh, I'm great today. I'm fine. I fill my plate with a million things to do in a day and I used to do that a lot in high school for sure. I was a part of every club. I was so busy at school, I didn't even have a minute to sit still.

[00:06:15] and that's what I'm learning right now. Stillness is everything. And when you're a kid, it's really hard to sit still. And so if I could give anyone advice, it would be to not be afraid to feel what you're feeling and to allow yourself sometimes to sit in the stillness because maybe if I had spent more time doing that, , some of the decisions I've made, some of the relationships I've had, some of the things I've done that have made my mental health even worse now, I think might have been avoidable.

[00:06:41] Yeah. Had I taken more time? Looking back, are you glad that you started opening up and processing and kind of working on your mental health that early on, in your journey, knowing that your parents had gone through this divorce, it potentially was gonna impact you or do you wish you would've just kind of.

[00:06:57] Waited and not started exploring that earlier on. Of course, totally personal preference. There's not a right or wrong answer, but are you glad you started building that muscle of talking about it? Or were you not ready to open up? What was that experience like? I think that I didn't have a choice.

[00:07:12] I was put into therapy. Yeah. You know, your parents get divorced at a young age. You don't even get a choice. It's pretty standard that your parents. Stick you in therapy so that they don't have to take the blame for your problem . So I think I didn't have too much of a choice and I definitely wasn't as forward about my mental health when I was younger.

[00:07:29] I think it took me a while to embrace the therapy I was in for a long time. It was just forced and I would just play with the toys in the therapy room. Yeah. When I was younger. And then I think that a really monumental moment for me was I stopped going to therapy for. Six years this, window of time where I still had all the tools I took from therapy and I would have a session here or there, but I wasn't in the twice a week therapy that I was in for so many years.

[00:07:55] I took a bit of a break from that and this six year timeframe, it was very touch and go. I would still be in it, but then I would step away from it. And I think it was really cool that when that time period happened, I actually had a moment where I was like, I need to go back to therapy.

[00:08:11] It's my decision now. I know what I need. I know what modality of therapy I'm looking for. I needed to do C B T and I was able to come to that on my own and I think I wouldn't have been able to do that had I not had so much therapy at a young age. But yeah, I think I wouldn't have known that. But I also do think therapy is such a thing. You take out of it what you're willing to give to it, and I don't think at certain times in my life I was willing to give to it.

[00:08:37] So there were times where I didn't take much away from it. And then in the times where I wanted to, that's when it was really, really important for me. And I think. . It's funny cuz I'm, I was such a mess and I still kind of am, but growing up my friends would all come to me for anxiety advice because none of them were in therapy and none of them, none of their parents really supported therapy.

[00:08:56] And it was just a time in life where, you know, people that age don't really go to therapy. Yeah. And it's a really big thing now, but at the time, when you're in high school or middle school, it's very taboo. It's kind of a shameful thing. And a lot of. Cases. And yeah, for me, people would come to me all the time and they'd ask me for my coping mechanisms and how I fight panic and all this stuff and I, I used to just be such an advocate for it and I was like, I loved helping people.

[00:09:24] My grandma has always told me you should be a therapist. I was like, I have too many attachment issues to ever do that. But I think it's interesting cuz I definitely always was open about it, but I definitely wasn't the way I am now until. The last year I just decided this is what I was meant to do.

[00:09:44] Yeah. It's interesting. I relate to so many things that you said. The first being put into therapy versus choosing therapy, and I think what makes part of that so difficult is that because you're not being involved in choosing the therapist, it feels like you're meeting with. Your parents' therapist.

[00:09:58] Yeah. And even if they're putting you into therapy, unless you're doing family therapy that is your therapist and the therapist should make that clear at the beginning, I'm primarily working with you. I won't go to your parents unless there's a safety issue. This is how this relationship works.

[00:10:12] And so whenever I have parents ask my. Child needs a therapist. Where do I look? I'm like, have them be a part of the process. Give them three options that you like. It's fine if you've vetted the list, but help them decide who they have a good relationship with or a good first impression with, or who it seems like they'll connect with because that relationship is so important.

[00:10:30] And I remember the exact same thing. As you where you don't put anything into the sessions. I remember going to weekly therapy and literally running out the clock, and I've mentioned that before and people are like, oh, you talked about random things. And I'm like, no, I sat quietly and star at the ground for an hour.

[00:10:44] It's, it's completely what you're willing to talk about. And I remember going to Therapy weekly, developing severe depression, but never bringing it up, never talking about these thoughts or emotions. And so never getting a diagnosis. Getting any recommendations for treatment until things got really bad.

[00:11:01] And so as helpful as it is to be put into therapy at a young age and learn those skills, there has to be some willingness to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to share, to understand that you have a lot of power in this relationship and in this process. . Mm-hmm. . And the more I reflect on my journey and talk to other teens that have gone through mental healthcare, the more I just believe that if the teen or the child doesn't have some willingness or some decision in the process, it's just not effective.

[00:11:28] Like they don't get anything out of it. And it's so difficult for these things to be long lasting, and I really have a lot of respect for you. How, how old are you? 19. Yeah, so you're 19. I'm 24 and I'm just finding my voice in this space. Yeah. And I kind of had it in other ways, but I, I really didn't have it in the way you do and I have so much respect for that.

[00:11:49] We're kind of working in similar things, but it's really, really cool that you're doing this for teenagers because I think that's such a monumental time where people need to focus on their mental health and you don't do it because it's just not the norm. It's not, yeah. . Almost so normal. Every single friend of mine is in therapy, I'm 24.

[00:12:08] Everyone postcollege is like, yeah, therapy. It's almost a trend now. Someone posted on our college message board like, dear freshman, if you don't already have a psychologist, please get on that because you're gonna need it. It's, everyone wants these resources. It's now it's when you get to a certain age, it's the cool thing to do and it's the right thing to do and it's very accepted.

[00:12:26] But in your teenage years, it's like, no, you're going to soccer practice straight after school and then you're going home and you're gonna be stressed about your SATs and you're gonna be busy with homework and you're gonna have your family dinners and your family fights and no one's gonna be there to help you through that. And it's, now I have one argument and I'm on the phone with my therapist, like, what do I do? And I'm like, I did this for years without having that level of support. It's so funny. No, I have a lot of respect for that. So I think what you're doing is super great. Thank you. I also think it's something with.

[00:12:53] Your parents being involved in the therapy process, obviously therapy and they're not much older than us, but in the past 20, 30 years it has shifted a lot and I think Gen Z especially is just so accepting and open like you're talking about once we become independent and are in college, have graduated.

[00:13:10] like friends talk about that very openly. Yeah. But when you first are getting into therapy, a lot of it is like a conversation that is being facilitated by your parents. And I noticed from my own parents, they're like, we're very accepting of my own mental health. But there was that message of like, you don't have to tell people, or like, we wanna protect your privacy.

[00:13:28] Yeah. Which is so different from how I think it's approached from Gen Z and I feel like that's why in. School and high school before you understand your, your values around it. There is kind of that secrecy or not being so open about it because there's this mesh of wanting to talk about it because it feels normal.

[00:13:45] It feels like something you would just talk to your friends about, but then your parents also having that privacy or different view about therapy and mental health and those meshing together makes it really complicated to. totally. My dad is like, are you sure you wanna share that? And there's still so many things where he's like, don't share that

[00:14:01] I never, he's like, never talk about me. I don't want you to talk about me. I'm like, literally, I'm not talking about you. Exactly. No, I remember the exact same thing. And it's funny because my parents religiously listened to my podcast at the beginning and haven't listened to it for like, At least a year at this point.

[00:14:16] Really? I have to beg them to listen to episodes. And I know at the beginning it was totally out of fear. They were like, what is she putting on the internet? Like mm-hmm. , what is she talking about? And especially with the idea of applying to colleges and being so open about this when we're in this awkward in between period where people are starting to be really accepting, but not everyone is yet.

[00:14:34] It's just such an interesting conversation to navigate and. . Yeah. With parents, it can be a whole dynamic, especially if you are really clear like, I want therapy, I want this, and your parents aren't Learning how to advocate for that can be, can be challenging. Yeah. I always say the, the coolest feedback I've gotten from my podcast is actually from current parents who didn't know how to help their kids.

[00:14:56] You know, some of them had just gotten divorced or some of them are just dealing with kids who are struggling with crippling anxiety. I mean, having kids during covid too, like I can't even imagine the new levels of. stress that kids are experiencing and parents don't know how to navigate it.

[00:15:09] Especially parents in our parents' age gap, they don't know. , just stop. Just feel better. You're fine. Everything's great. Mm-hmm. . I think the coolest feedback for me has been a lot of parents saying thank you. You really helped me figure out how to help my kid. And I think that's really cool.

[00:15:27] And I, it wasn't a demographic that I initially thought I was seeking and it's actually been a huge part of my audience is parents who. To help their kids through their journey. A hundred percent. And I think even hearing any teen have some kind of conversation about this helps with that generational gap, again, with how we approach these conversations.

[00:15:46] Yeah. And how stigma plays into it and the, the challenges that high schoolers are experiencing today versus 10, 20, 30 years ago. I think it gives some insight. Their kids are feeling even if that relationship and and back and forth isn't totally established. Absolutely. So you went through quite the medical journey in 2021 and navigated a huge challenge there.

[00:16:09] I'd love to dive into that and talk about how you navigated that and then also. in that season. Was anxiety something that came up? Was that something you had to lean on those skills again, ask for more support and how that factored in? Yeah, it's actually really, really interesting. So right when Covid started was around the same time that my health kind of became a red flag, but I didn't.

[00:16:33] like when Covid started, that was anxiety central for me because my anxiety is really tied to health and the health of of people that I love, and specifically my grandma. So when a disease started that could literally kill my grandma. My world stopped. I moved home from college, moved back to New York.

[00:16:51] At this time I wasn't in therapy, so this was a really different time for me. I was thriving through college thinking. I had it all figured out, my anxiety. Better and I was like, oh, I know how to cope. I've learned that my coping is all O C D by the way, just complete unhealthy superstitions.

[00:17:07] Mm-hmm. that I think make me do things that I wouldn't normally do. Cause I'd be too scared and it's , yeah, I need to work on that too. Yeah. . But yeah, so once Covid started, I instantly packed up my things, went back home and I was like, I'm gonna be in charge of keeping my grandma safe. I was committed to that.

[00:17:23] And so in that same time period, I had just gotten, I have P C O S, so I get blood work every six months because I'm also pre-diabetic and have to keep an eye on all of that stuff. And so I was doing my blood work. This was like three days before I left LA to go back home to take care of my grandma.

[00:17:41] And they were like, oh, your blood work came back abnormal. And we're not sure if it's something to be concerned about, but we know that the world is kind of crazy right now and you might not wanna go to a lab to get more blood work. So for now, just wait a month. Let's see how Covid turns out.

[00:17:57] And like then in a month, . Yeah, I know. What a different time. Right? And then she was like, yeah, you can just call. in a month and we'll figure something out. So I went home and typically this would've sent me through the roof. I would've been at the lab that day getting my blood work done

[00:18:14] I was so focused on getting home to be with my grandma that it wasn't even something that sparked anxiety for me. I was just like, all right, I'll deal with this later. And I don't think I realized what it meant either. So that was fair. But, so yeah, I went home. I was home with my grandma. Actually a year fully didn't leave my house, was just with her the whole time.

[00:18:33] And then after it got to the point of like May, June, where people sort of started leaving a little bit more and I was like, I'm personally not comfortable leaving, but I do need to get this blood work done. So I stepped out of the house, got my blood work done again, and then the levels went even higher and they were like, okay.

[00:18:52] really not normal now. And this was my OB gynecologist who was the one doing all this blood work and she was like, okay, this is out of our wheelhouse. Your prolactin levels are super high. You need to go to an endocrinologist. So did that, went to that doctor, found out that I had a pituitary tumor and I was just in this time, still focus on my grandma and also, Since I was a kid, you could ask anyone who knows me every headache.

[00:19:18] I was like, your worst nightmare. Yeah. I have a very tumor like, yeah, done. Like I'm hypochondriac to the max and so. when that happened, they were like, yeah, you need to go get an MRI of your brain. And instantly I was like, I have a tumor. I just knew it. Yeah. It in my head. I texted my dad, I was like, I think I have a tumor in my head.

[00:19:37] And my dad was like, Ugh, you're so dramatic. Actually, really, this is the 17th time I've heard this. Not like I'm done. It was like the boy who cried wolf, literally and then. I, so I get all that back. It took me like three months to get all these tests done too, because it was just really hard to leave the house.

[00:19:52] I'm terrified of MRIs, just a whole mix of the worst things ever for me into one thing. And then still I was just so numb. This is the first time I was like, I used to imagine if this ever happened, how much of a mess I would be, but for some reason I was kind of just rolling through the motions, like never had a breakdown.

[00:20:09] When I found out I had the tumor, I was with my grandma and she. , you can cry. And I like, no, it's fine. . Yeah, no, it just really didn't hit me. And then as we move on the months, it's like, okay, surgery in September, this is the next step. It all just happened so fast. And my family was a mess.

[00:20:27] They were, yeah, terrified. They were so nervous they didn't know how to help. They knew that I was shutting down inside, but I wasn't showing it, so they didn't even know how to help me. And then I had the surgery and that's when for me, , everything changed. I had the surgery and everyone else was like, yay, it's all over now.

[00:20:46] She's better. We can all get back to our lives. It's over. She's healthy. We're good. But that's when everything caught up to me, it was once things were fine, I didn't believe they were fine. I was full shut down. Didn't wanna leave the house because I was afraid any move would like gimme a nosebleed or

[00:21:02] I was just terrified of everything. I mean, being in the hospital alone because of Covid was traumatizing. Yeah. A brain tumor was traumatizing. Like all of that was just horrible. And my worst nightmare. And I think I had just been holding so much in from the year of taking care of my grandma and all of that at once, and it just all came out.

[00:21:22] And so that's when I really, it's interesting because before I even found out I had the tumor, I started getting medicated for my anxiety. With Covid and my grandma, I noticed how bad things were. Mm-hmm. . So I was back in therapy again, started Lexapro and I was focusing on that and then all this happened and I was like, well thank God I got medicated before that.

[00:21:42] Cause that would've been a mess. So, yeah, I mean it was just a crazy time and I think looking back, I can now say I'm so glad it happened. , it destroyed me, but I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't be having a mental health podcast. I wouldn't know this much about my mental health. I wouldn't have made this much progress with my mental health, and I wouldn't.

[00:22:08] Be able to have, like, now I live in California by myself, haven't gone home since Christmas, which for me is yeah. A huge deal. To have not seen my grandma since Christmas. first off, I miss her to death and I'm mm-hmm. gonna, I'm actually going home tomorrow, but, Aww. Yeah, it's just been a huge change for me, so I'm grateful.

[00:22:27] definitely. Yeah. It was traumatic. So a parallel, which when I was putting my notes together for this, I was like, definitely wanna ask about this and how it impacted your journey. But when I was in residential treatment and they're doing the weekly labs, making sure that nothing's wrong, they're always like, what could physiologically be wrong that's causing these mental health challenges?

[00:22:46] And my T S H. The thyroid stimulating hormone kept being high. They didn't know what it was. I tried thyroid medication. One of my psychiatrists was like, I think you have a pituitary brain tumor, . Literally that was the assumed diagnosis. And so I did the whole MRI thing, we can't really tell, did an MRI with contrast.

[00:23:05] I was totally fine. There was no brain tumor, but I, it's so random that that was what you went through because I. I literally thought it was a joke. I remember him being like, have you been lactating? And I was like, absolutely not, dude. I, I that was where I was at, it was, yeah.

[00:23:21] So I was like, this can't be real so high. Mm-hmm. . They were like, it, it's showing up that you just gave birth to a child. You're like, no. And I was like, well, I didn't, so maybe we should do something about this. Yeah, no. So they were asking these questions. I was like, there's no way. I was living in a mental hospital, severely depressed.

[00:23:37] I was like, this is comical. You can't be, be serious. It ended up being fine. Not a thing, but Oh, parallel's crazy. Oh my gosh. But I, I would love to hear. what skills you mentioned C B T. What different, maybe it's like a mantra you use, maybe it's a, a routine you have in place that helped you navigate that time period that you still use today to maintain your mental health, continue to cope with anxiety as it came up.

[00:24:03] Something that you learned during that season that has stuck with you. Yeah. . Interesting. I will say I was really stubborn during that time. There wasn't much that anyone could tell me. I didn't want mantras, I didn't want anything. I just actually wanted everyone to leave me alone. I didn't want people to tell me that I was gonna be fine and that I should just go outside and go do something.

[00:24:24] I was like, leave me alone. Yeah. So I will say a big part of that time period was the fact that I was on Lexapro. Proud to say it. Not ashamed. Me too. It, we love Lexi that time and that's okay. But I will say after that, a big thing for me was just baby exposures. I used to sleep with my grandma every night because I was too afraid to not sleep with her.

[00:24:47] I would think that maybe she wouldn't live through the night or something, which is, it sounds extreme, but that's literally how my brain works. Yeah. Yeah. And. , my exposure would be like one night a week, don't sleep with your grandma and see how it works. See how she is. Is she fine in the morning?

[00:25:03] Yeah, she is. So it would start with like, okay, on Mondays you don't sleep with your grandma. And then it kind of just slowly got better and better. And now I go home and I don't sleep with her and I'm 24 and I just stopped doing that two years ago, which is embarrassing, but I don't even care.

[00:25:19] And it's little things like that really work for me and. . I would say I'm really good at pushing myself sometimes to a fault, but for me, I did, I do EF T all the time, which is tapping therapy. Mm-hmm. , it is so helpful for me. I like it because it doesn't have to be one mantra and I don't, I don't really do good at sticking to one statement because my mood is so different at all times.

[00:25:43] Yeah. So for me, EFT is cool because It's like a pep talk first. Yeah, it's, it's a conversation. It's the one thing that's bothering you in that moment. You speak it into the universe and then you tap throughout your body while still speaking that one thing that's bothering you in that moment.

[00:25:55] You speak that out and give yourself the power back and then you work through it. And so I'm a big fan of E F T. And yeah, I would say those were some big things for me. I love exposure too. That's one of the things that's, anytime I make anxious about something, I'm like, it's time for an exposure hierarchy.

[00:26:13] That was literally my session last week. Because it's so, so, so helpful. And I think the biggest thing with anxiety is going towards it and being curious in a safe way rather than avoiding it. Because if you avoided it just gets so much worse. And I've done an episode explaining all about exposure therapy, so I'll put that in the show notes if people wanna understand how it works and why it works and how to set up a hierarchy, but, mm-hmm.

[00:26:35] if there is one thing I wish everyone knew, it would be, I think exposure therapy, because we all experience anxiety, our urges to avoid, and you have to do the opposite. if you wanna see a shift and it's so practical in every environment, whether it's trying to get a job or making new friends or studying or learning something new, all these things that bring up anxiety, absolutely exposure is, is a great solution.

[00:26:59] I will say though, it is easier said than both. Oh, it's not fun. It's terrible. Exposure therapy is quite literally. enforcing. Yeah. Everything you don't want to enforce into your body. It's giving into everything that might give you a panic attack. Yeah. And you have to be ready for it. And you also need to have a therapist who really helps you start small and get to where you wanna go, because if you Yeah.

[00:27:21] Feel at any point, like you're just being thrown into it. For me, I'm like, all right, back to avoiding . Yeah. I was outta there. I remember one time I had a session and my exposure was to. Rub my hands on the dirty floor and then just sit there for the session and not wash them. And it was my worst nightmare.

[00:27:36] Yeah. I was so uncomfortable. I was like, can I please just wash my hands? And she was like, no. I was like, I ain't horrible this, I wanna go home. No, this is not fun. It's tough, but it works. It works. The last thing that I would love to hear your thoughts on, you've. Graduated from college. You're still pretty close to that time though, and I'd love to hear if there's any advice or tips or things you wish you would've heard when you were in college to anyone that's listening, that's in that season of their life.

[00:28:04] This might be a hot take, but , I think. Something that really affected me when I first started college is social media and college. Make college look like it's supposed to be the best time of your life. Freshman year is quite literally the hardest year of college. It is not what you think it's gonna be.

[00:28:22] All of your friends from your high school are gonna be posting, and you're gonna be doing it too. You're gonna look like you're having the best time of your life, but the truth is every single one of you is like, whoa, this isn't what I expected. Yeah, this is really intense. , I'm not making friends as fast as I thought I would.

[00:28:38] I'm not loving these classes. I'm not loving my major. I miss my parents. I miss my dog. It's just such a different time, but it's also a time where everyone around you from your high school is trying to compete, showing who's having more fun. And for me, that really threw me off. I was like, why am I not loving this?

[00:28:56] I'm pretending like I'm loving it. I'm making it look like I'm living my dream at my dream school. And I was at my dream school and I was so grateful for that. But, , don't let yourself shut down inside. Just because on the outside, you're trying to make it look like one thing, but on the inside you're really struggling.

[00:29:13] Yeah. College is really hard. It's such a different time in your life where you're learning so much about yourself. And for me, that's when my mental health all really came to a head. I learned so many things about myself. I learned that I have so much more than just anxiety. I learned.

[00:29:32] Codependency is my middle name and . I just really think that if I could give anyone advice, it would be it's your journey, it's your experience. And don't compare it to anyone else's and don't be hard on yourself if you're not loving it as much as you thought you should be. And if you are, then embrace that and have the time of your life and enjoy every second of it.

[00:29:52] And when you get out, just be ready. Still be finding new things about yourself cuz I'm out of college and I've learned more about myself in the last year than I ever have in my life. So yeah, just walk into college with open eyes and an open heart, but also, Don't be hard on yourself. Yeah. If it's not everything you thought it would be, and slow down at times and reflect like, are these friends just because I met them this week and I need friends, or are these friends who are gonna be there when I'm having a horrible day and I need to call someone because I miss home and I'm having a panic attack, or whatever it is, you know?

[00:30:29] Yeah. They call at Penn, they call it Penn Face, where everyone just puts on this facade that everything's fine and that they're doing great in all their classes and there's no stress and no overwhelm and. I think I had enough experience. With my mental health that I didn't really feel the need to do that.

[00:30:47] But something that also really helped was being really aware of my weaknesses. I think in high school, especially if you're striving to go to a good school, you wanna be good at everything. For me it was, I had no interest in. being pre-med, but it was like you needed an A in AP chem for some reason.

[00:31:01] Yeah. You were taking environmental sciences or all these classes that you had to do good in to get into college even though you weren't interested or passionate about them. And I think in college you really have to understand that you're not gonna be good at everything and that's totally fine.

[00:31:15] And so I'm really content being the psychology major and being terrible at math and not wanting to take these random classes. Like accounting or economics, just because everyone else is taking them and knowing that that's not gonna be a strength and that is totally fine. And I found it a lot more manageable to keep up with these emotions of comparison, because I'm not trying to compare myself in everything.

[00:31:37] I'm just aware of the things that I'm really am passionate about, and those are still really hard to navigate. Whether it's like what I wanna do after college, or making new friends, or managing a study schedule, or staying the top of my routine, I'm always like, I feel like I could be doing this better and having those emotions, but it's those things that I actually care about rather than.

[00:31:55] Being anxious about the fact that I'm not taking an engineering class when that would be my worst nightmare. So it's kind of just getting clear on like what do you wanna be good at? And it's okay to be anxious about that because you do care about that. And where can you cut your losses and be like, it is not worth my energy to try and be good at all of these things because that's not gonna be possible.

[00:32:13] And there's always gonna be someone that has had more time and experience and and energy in this area. Totally. And I think that's just the hard part of coming from high school where you're just like, everyone's doing the same thing every. You know, there's popularity and there is so much competition.

[00:32:29] Whereas once you get to college, it's like, doesn't matter what you're into, what you're not into, there's so many people, there's a person for everyone there, and it's just, yeah, that's so special. But it can be really overwhelming at first because it's just so not what we're trained, you know, we're in mm-hmm.

[00:32:43] kindergarten through 12th grade being trained one thing. And then we get to college and it's so different now. We finally get to meet whoever you wanna meet, and you can be whoever you wanna be. So go do it. And we're all just like, like what? Whoa, , thanks for the warning. And then you just get thrown into it and it's awesome.

[00:33:00] I mean, I look back and I'm so grateful for my college experience, but it took me a long time to figure out what that meant for me and what was gonna be my experie. Versus someone else's, you know? Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. Well, if people wanna continue to listen to your podcast, consume your content, where can they follow along and connect?

[00:33:21] You guys can follow my Instagram, which is just my first and last name, Allie Petitti. And, if you wanna listen to trying to figure it out, you can watch it on YouTube. It comes out every Tuesday. Or you can listen on any streaming platform that you would get your podcast on. So, Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me, Allie.

[00:33:40] I'm so glad we got to do this, and I think thank you for having me. So many topics that listeners will relate to and just find encouragement and, and wisdom from. So thank you so much for sitting down and being so vulnerable and yeah, I'm so glad we got to do this. Of course. Thank you. And I'm so impressed by what you're doing at such, honey.

[00:33:55] Thank you. Super. I appreciate it.

[00:33:57] Sadie: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of she persisted. If you enjoyed, make sure to share with a friend or family member, it really helps out the podcast. And if you haven't already leave a review on apple podcasts or Spotify, you can also make sure to follow along at actually persisted podcast on both Instagram and Tik TOK, and check out all the bonus resources, content and information on my website.

[00:34:18] Sadie: She persisted podcast.com. Thanks for supporting. Keep persisting and I'll see you next week.

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