154. Erin Treloar on Overcoming Anorexia, Silencing off the Eating Disorder "Voice," and Stepping into Self Love

Jul 22

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Today's guest is Erin Treolar—a celebrity health & life coach, meditation teacher and host of the Raw Beauty Talks podcast. We discuss Erin's experience navigating an eating disorder at 16, overcoming fear surrounding accepting treatment, the cognitive distortions of anorexia/aka the eating disorder "voice," how mental eating disorders are despite being perceived as being very behavior-based, why self-love and mindset are essential in any sustainable health goal, how you can support a loved one struggling with an ED, and how to approach social media when you're struggling with body image. If you or a loved one struggles with disordered eating—70% of women will in their lifetime—I HIGHLY recommend giving this episode a listen.

TRIGGER WARNING for eating disorders and disordered eating.

Erin's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erintreloar/?hl=en

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ 55 Ways To Feel Better In Your Body (without a diet)

SHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOC

Episode Sponsors

🛋This week's episode is sponsored by Teen Counseling. Teen Counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network offering support with depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and more via text, talk, and video counseling. Head to teencounseling.com/shepersisted to find a therapist today!

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Welcome to She Persisted. I'm your host, Sadie Sutton, a 19 year old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the University of Penn. She Persisted is the Teen Mental Health Podcast made for teenagers by a teen. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness.

You can expect evidence-based, teen approved resources, coping skills, including lots of D B T insights and education in. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted, Offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle, while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

So let's dive in this week on She persisted.

Erin: you are your greatest and investment and.

People don't realize that they spend so much time pouring into others. They spend so many hours of their life going to school and getting these degrees, which it is investing in yourself. But our health and wellness comes before anything else

Sadie: Hello. Hello, and welcome back to She Resisted. We took a mini break to catch up on everything that's going on in the She Resisted world with social and posting and getting back into TikTok. But I'm very excited for today's episode because it is one of our most highly requested topics.

You guys always ask for episodes about body image disordered eating, eating disorder, treatment, and that general world of mental health because so many teens struggle with body image and there are so many things floating around in the social media space and the internet, and we talk a lot about this in this episode.

And so this conversation is one that I've been looking forward to for a really long time. Erin has been in Dream Guest for years, and I pitched her. Very early on in the podcast because she's very unique in that her mental health journey also started as a teen. She's still working in the health and wellness, , balanced eating space as an adult, but as you'll hear, her story goes way back to when she was a teen and can relate to a lot of what you guys are probably going through in this moment. And so I'm so glad to have the founder of Rob Beauty Talks and Rob Beauty Co. Erin Treloar on the podcast today. She has a podcast, an incredible Instagram page. She is a coach. She also is the founder. A raw beauty talk society and free to be talked two different ways that she works to support teens and youth that are struggling with either disordered eating or media literacy and everything that goes along again with societal conditioning and , balanced eating.

So we really dive into all of that in this conversation, but it's just an in. Credible, vulnerable, authentic conversation about eating disorder treatment, about self-love and body image and steps you can take to improve your relationship with your food and your body and movement and all of these things,

as well as the way that society kind of ties into that conversation, how we're consuming social media, what messages exist on these different platforms and how that impacted Aaron's own journey. So I'm just so lucky to have Aaron on the podcast today. I know you guys are going to adore this conversation because I did as we did this interview.

And if you guys, you enjoy this conversation, please share on social media, leave a review, all of the things. And with that, let's dive in.

I'm so glad we got to do this and I'm really excited for this conversation.

Erin: Well, thank you again for having me on, and it's so interesting that you say, That people are like, she has such an incredible story because really the more I talk about my story, the more I realize it's not that incredible.

It's actually very normal. Yeah. And it's something that so many people have gone through or known somebody that has gone through it. And so I wish it was more incredible than it actually is. But it actually is very common.

Sadie: Yeah, a hundred percent. It's. Definitely, especially the more that people are vulnerable about what they're experiencing, it feels like the numbers are rising.

Of course, mental health and mental illness rates are going up, but also people are talking about it more. They're being more accepting of what they're experiencing, and I think. Many teens, especially girls, have struggled with self-image and body image and self-esteem and, , the things that go with that, whether it's eating or exercise.

And so it's something that can be very universal and many people struggle with at some point. So I'm super excited to hear your perspective and advice throughout this convo.

Erin: well that's what I'm here for. I mean, when. My quote unquote adventure journey started, , I was in my teens. I was about 15 years old, and didn't, I didn't know this at the time, but I was definitely a bit anxious. Mm-hmm. Not like an anxious attachment style or difficulty leaving my parents or anything like that, but more of the perfectionist nature, like have to do well in everything that I'm doing. Putting a lot of pressure on myself, really worried about what other people think, wanting to.

Perform and, and be a high performer. Now, what's interesting is that when you are that individual in high school, you're applauded for it. You get straight A's. Everyone's like, wow, you're, you know, you're doing amazing. You are checking all of the boxes. Mm-hmm. And so that feeds into that need to please.

And the perfectionism. Yeah. At some point along the line, the anxiety. Mixed up with probably hormonal changes going through puberty, and then these really whew, powerful messages that we receive from the media around what beauty is and what beauty standards are for women. Yeah, they all mix together and created a really intense eating disorder.

I was diagnosed around age 16 with anorexia, and it was. Something that really took over my life very quickly. I was doing a lot of dance and spending a lot of time in front of the mirror. Of course, I was always very long and lean when I was in high school. Like I have the same body type that I have right now, but.

There. I remember specifically zooming in on my hips, and we do this so much as women, like we find one area of our body where we're like, Ooh, it could just be a little bit better. Most women, it's the stomach. I just zoomed in and I was like, if I could just have slightly smaller hips. I, you know, I'd be closer to that size that the models are, and I remember watching Victoria's Secret fashion shows.

I did crunches while I was watching them. I knew what all those girls' measurements were. I watched the videos where they would talk about what they ate and what they didn't eat, and I just replicated it. Those girls, to me, were everything. I mean, they had popularity, they had money. They were admired. They were celebrated.

They were gorgeous. And so very quickly in following the advice of other people what began as being healthier. Or what many people would perceive as being healthier, spiraled into nonstop calorie counting, total obsession around food and what my body looked like. , I went from being a straight A student to having to drop some courses because I couldn't focus anymore.

I was cold all the time. I was growing hair on all parts of my body because. E everything in your body is thrown off at this point. Yeah. , I was five 11 and 89 pounds within six months, so it was really, really disastrous. And I ended up being admitted into a hospital program in bc BC Women and Children's Hospital, where I spent three months rehabilitating getting my weight back up to a more stable place and.

It was when I first started to really understand the impact that the beauty industry has on us. Yeah.

Sadie: I have two follow up questions that I wanna ask. One is about when you started having those somewhat positive intentions to be healthier or make a shift, or, I think everyone has experienced at some point, and you describe it very quickly, accelerating into something that was very overwhelming and had larger consequences.

As you look back, knowing what you know now with your journey, having gone through recovery now, working with other women, are there different ways you wish you would've approached that? Or a mindset shift or a skill or asking for help at some point to save some of that, that struggle that so many teens, unfortunately, are exposed to.

Erin: That is such a brilliant question and nobody has ever asked me that really. And I have been on a lot of podcasts and nobody's ever gone back to that specific moment when I started to diet, and what would I have done differently? I think that. So many women are confused about what to do. Yeah. They're like, the dieting isn't working, and maybe they don't have a full blown eating disorder, but they're like, I diet, and then I find myself binge eating or overeating.

I, I, I'm, I'm not able to stick to it for whatever reason. Mm-hmm. But I don't know what else to do. I wish back then intuitive eating had been talked about more. I wish that the Mindfulness components of wellness were talked about more that meditation was talked about, that there were the images that we see in media now, which portray all different types of bodies.

Yeah. That wasn't available at that time, I don't think, with the options that were available back in, back when I was going through this, that. There were very many alternatives. Yeah. Nobody was talking about self-love. Mm-hmm. Nobody was talking about body positivity. Nobody was talking about the threat of eating disorders or anxiety and what that was because my eating disorder was absolutely a symptom of the underlying anxiety that I was feeling andex experiencing.

So what's so cool when you ask that is like, I wish. That so many of the things that ha that we have now, were available then. Yeah. And I've been working so hard to create a world where I. That is a reality. And so many other women have been as well, like women like you and women like Jenna Kucher and Sarah Nicole Landry.

And I mean, I even just saw an interview the other day that Victoria Brown did who, , I know exactly what you're

Sadie: talking about. Yeah. And she, she

Erin: interviewed, when you mentioned Victoria

Sadie: Secret most, I was like, I just watched that clip. So

Erin: even not so powerful, having the angels come out and say, The one, the one girl said, I stood in front of my billboard.

Yeah. I would stand there for like hours and nobody would recognize me. Because she looked so entirely different with Yeah. All of the makeup and the editing and the hair extensions and everything.

Yeah. So, This type of vulnerable, honest, authentic conversation that we have and this new definition of what health and wellness is that is coming and rising to the surface now. It is. It's everything that I would've hoped for then. Yeah. And yet still women are struggling. Like we still have a ways to go.

Yeah. But there's more option available now.

Sadie: I completely agree. The other question I had for you about your early on story is about the process of going to treatment because I've seen firsthand so many times how terrifying that is for many girls or boys or individuals who are entering treatment. Going to eating disorder treatment a lot of times is your worst nightmare.

I have been in many programs and people struggle with so many different things, whether they're like focusing on family relationships or self-love, or they're super depressed or whatever it is. The most fear and resistance that I've ever observed with regard to treatment is individuals that are struggling with an eating disorder.

There's so much fear, there's so much avoidance. It really does feel like I. A worst nightmare come to life. , and in entering that, , that program or that support system, whatever you wanna call it. And so I was wondering what your advice and experience was there, having gone through treatment, having it been very helpful, but probably still being really scared to take that step for teens or young adults or whatever age who are listening that are considering you need disorder of treatment, but are very scared.

What is your advice there?

Erin: I mean, it was terrifying. Yeah, I cried. I was pissed that I had to go. The only reason I went was because my dad broke down for the first time since I'd started struggling and was like basically begging me to go. Yeah. And I agreed to go for one week. That was all. Even that tone in my voice that you hear right now is how I spoke about it.

Like I will go for one week, but I'm not the one who has the problem here. And this is a really tricky thing about eating disorders. Is that because I. Our culture is so deeply steeped in diet culture, and so many people are dieting or cutting out carbs, or I'm not eating this, this week. You feel like you're just doing what everybody else is doing.

Yeah. And so for me, I thought my sister, who, , is in an even thinner body than I am, naturally, there was so much comparison with her and like, well, Sarah forgets to eat her lunch sometimes at school, so how come I'm having to go into a clinic right now Just because I choose not to, this just doesn't make sense.

Like for a long time it was, she's thinner than me until I was. Thinner than her. But Sarah wasn't thinking about food all the time. She wasn't counting her calories, she was just eating intuitively. And sometimes she'd wanna go play soccer, like, but I couldn't see that from my perspective. And eating disorder is so cunning.

It's like the ego. It can, it's smart, it can shape, shift different stories and make you feel like. You're in choice when really you're no longer in choice. Mm-hmm. So I knew when I went in that I had a problem. At that point, I knew that I needed help, but it was like, there were two voices in my head. There was one that was like, I need help.

And then the louder one was like, you don't wanna go in there, they're gonna make you eat things. You're fine. You know? , I don't even think, it wasn't a fear of. Yeah, getting bigger. It just felt like my whole body was in resistance to putting food into me. Yeah. And there was this constant narrative of don't eat that now.

You should wait until blah, blah blah's birthday party. And then you can have the cake there. But then I would get to the birthday party and it would be like, well, don't have the cake cuz that's got this many calories in it. And just have that. And then tomorrow when mom's watching, you can have more food here.

And oh, it's exhausting and it takes up. So much space. Now, what's interesting is I went into the hospital, cried my face off for like three days straight.

Sadie: Then I, if anyone goes into the hospital without crying their face off for two days straight. Such a universal experience. It's a

Erin: really universal experience.

Nobody wants to be there. Nobody is like, this is the path. Nobody's like, this is what I imagined for myself. Mm-hmm. At all. Mm-hmm. It's a rock bottom moment. I was amazed at how quickly I. That loud eating disorder, voice softened and just shut up. When somebody else took the reins and I had no control anymore of what I was eating.

When you go in the program that I was in, at least there was a stepladder approach. So step one, you don't get to pick what you're eating. It is like you're having a white bun with butter, you're having the carton of milk, you're having some chicken on the side, you've got all your food groups. I mean, so many of my fear foods on that very first plate that I had to eat and.

So you have no choice. And the beauty of that system is that at first the eating disorder fights back and it's terrifying. And you're crying and you're resisting. I. But then it, it's, it's gone. That voice, for me at least, that was my experience. Mm-hmm. I had never, I had tried to purge, but I just couldn't for whatever reason.

And I'm so glad, I feel so lucky because I think a lot of people go into the hospital program and then they're fighting that urge the whole time to escape to the bathroom after or whatnot. , and so for me, after a week of being there, I was like, I can't come home yet. It can't. I have to stay. And as uncomfortable it is as it is cause that refeeding is, at this point, you've done such, taken such a toll in your digestive system that you're bloated, you're uncomfortable.

Oh, I can. I can. I can actually feel when I talk about it, I can feel the sensation. And so it's hard work physically, mentally, emotionally. But it is the best thing that you will ever do for yourself. Mm-hmm. People die from eating disorders and it is no way to live. It is not it, it You think you're okay, but you are so not okay.

Mm-hmm. In that state. Yeah.

Sadie: I remember one of the things in my abnormal psych class that blew my mind. I'd been immersed in the treatment world for years and had so many peers that struggled with eating disorder, struggled with disordered eating at many points. But I remember my professor said that anorexia and bulimia have the same diagnostic requirements except for your weight and except for your measurements and.

I was like, no, there's no way. Because as a society, the way that we think about anorexia, the way that we think about bulimia is so very different. And the behaviors that you're engaging in the thought process you have. Yeah. And yet when you realize that they're identical, it's just that once you've reached that certain health marker or that weight level, certain steps need to be taken for physical reasons.

It helps you understand how mental this is. Yeah. And how much you need to do emotionally, and how much support is required because it's not just a behavior or something physically that you're engaging in. There's so much more there.

Erin: Yes. Yes. It's such a, that's such a good point. And I find it really frustrating that.

I think a lot of people go undiagnosed because they are anorexic, but their body doesn't shed weight in the same way. Mm-hmm. And we know at this point that. It doesn't matter what you eat or how you move, all bodies are different, right? If we all ate the exact same type of food and exercise exactly the same way, our bodies would not all look exactly the same.

There's so many factors that go into the shape of your body, and so I, I, I do feel like we need. A new system for diagnosing these things because I think that the actual rate of people struggling with eating disorders and disordered eating is probably even higher than we know, and already statistically, we know 70% of women will struggle with disordered eating at some point in their life.

So disordered eating can be. Cyclical dieting, on and off, on and off of dieting, , obsessing over food, counting calories, my FitnessPal counting macros, and in a way where it feels a bit all consuming, where it's not like, okay, I'm using my FitnessPal to get a sense of where I'm even at for a few weeks, and then I'm able to let it go.

There's anxiety around eating. There's anxiety around body image, and 70% of women will go through that at some point in their life, which. I can see some people being like, well, what's the big deal? Like they're fine. No, this is taking a substantial amount of our mental capacity, of our energy. It's, it is costing us money.

It is a huge problem and I, I mean, I get really fired up about it because we aren't paying enough attention to it. It's not, it's not. The eating disorders, the 10%, there are some resources there, but there aren't a lot of resources for those individuals who haven't been diagnosed but are still struggling.

So, Yeah, and

Sadie: especially as you've been undiagnosed, if you don't have anyone in your support system and you're going through the motion of your routine and your day-to-day commitments and requirements in either working a job or being a student and trying to engage and maintain these relationships in your life, like do you talk about.

The mental fatigue, the physical fatigue, you can't show up in the way you should be able to, even if you haven't been diagnosed. And so it has has a huge impact and therefore requires support and resources. And I think that's one of the biggest misconceptions that people tell themselves so that other people have it worse or it's not bad enough to require a treatment.

When in fact, if it's not at that point yet, that's exactly when you should be intervening and exactly when you should be getting support because it will be more effective and you're able to nip it in the bud and continue on with your life. , exactly. I'd love to hear from you, you talked about how there were different narratives that were impacting the way you approached going to treatment or how you viewed your behavior and routines versus your sisters.

Were there other misconceptions or. Almost like myths, beliefs, , that you held during that time that now you look back and you're like, that's so not true. Things that are very common when people are thinking about treatment or thinking about getting support or thinking about their own diet, exercise, , health behaviors

Erin: I mean, there's so many things looking back now that. I believed wholeheartedly that just were not accurate. Yeah, so some examples. First of all, I felt like going into treatment was the ultimate failure that I had somehow failed, that I was othered, I just felt so separate is all I can say.

Yeah, and that's the thing with mental illness is we feel so much shame and guilt around it. Unlike a lot of other illnesses, we really point the finger at ourselves. Yeah. And looking back now, I mean, even in my journey with anxiety, which has flared up, , more since having kids, I'm totally fine right now, but it's been, it's been wavy, , the last decade when I'm in that space, when things are really hard.

My, my automatic is to blame myself. Like, oh, you push yourself too hard. You always do this, you always burn yourself out. Or you, , you know, it. It's so natural to blame ourselves. And now being in a space where I feel grounded and stable again, I'm like, no, no. This is an illness. Like this is a disorder.

There's a chemical difference in my brain. , in the same way that there's a difference in the genetics of somebody who has diabetes or a different disorder, that, or illness. , And I don't wanna say it's outta my control, but it is somewhat, there are lots of things that I can do to support myself, but in some element, you know, I was genetically born with, yeah, a nervous system that's a bit more sensitive and different dopamine and serotonin, uptake ability and all of that kind of stuff.

The other thing is I really believed that there were good foods and bad foods back in the day. I believed that there was a certain number of calories. That I could eat and that I really needed to watch those calories. I thought that fat was bad. Actually. Thought fat was like, oh, I was. I, I would cut out as much fat as I possibly could, which is the worst thing that you can do for yourself as your brain is developing.

And really at any point in your life, you know, now I'm all about olive oil and avocado and salmon and almonds and Oreo cookies. The, or the latter just being for joy and pleasure. But you know, like I'm not, there's no fear there around these things. And so there were so many things at that time that I really believed in wholeheartedly.

That were absolutely false and that I had to work to let go of alter and shift my perspective around.

Sadie: I a hundred percent agree with everything you just said there. Even when you were talking about how. We are predisposed for different mental health challenges, whether you experience your emotions more intensely or you're born into a certain family dynamic.

It's so interesting because you said, well, I can take steps. I can do things to improve this. And the same is true for so many physical health problems, whether it's like diabetes or high cholesterol, or. If you have like weak muscle tone, you're more likely to get injured. Like the way that we approach that fitness versus our mental fitness, the narrative is completely different.

And so I think it's still a narrative that we're struggling with and still something that we're working to shift in the right direction. And I really love what you said about entering treatment as well, and looking back on my own journey. I relate to feeling like you failed in that. Why am I in this position?

How did I get here? It takes so much strength to go to treatment and to accept help. You have to think about all the people who don't have the strength and are too scared to, to take that step and ask for support and accept the resources and in so many ways. I felt better prepared to navigate every challenge of life because I went to treatment.

Mm-hmm. It was such an asset in navigating the transition to college and relationships and little skills like validation or what emotion, am I feeling? Or mindfulness like you mentioned. And so there are so many benefits there and it's again, shifting that narrative around these things and really checking in and saying these things that I believe for so long, are they accurate?

Are they true? And if they're not, what do I need to adjust them to? It's the.

Erin: The most profound gift that you can give yourself. Yeah. And even if it doesn't feel like that in the moment, take our word for it. Yeah. That if you have the ability to get yourself into some sort of support network, whatever that may look like, to lean into that, you are your greatest and investment and.

Sadie: bus. Yeah. And I think your story and my story both show that the academics don't matter.

You can't show up to school if you are struggling so severely mentally, no. Like forget the academics is not even possible at that point. So without that foundation, physically and mentally, you have nothing, not able to pursue those other goals and make those other investments. So it's absolutely essential and foundational.

Mm-hmm.

Two days' episode is brought to you by teen counseling. You guys know that when I share a heavy topic, whether it's depression, anxiety, trauma, disordered eating, I like to give you a resource in addition to what we talk about in the episode, because if you've never gone to therapy before, finding a therapist, finding a treatment provider can be a very overwhelming process.

If you do want to look for a provider locally, I always recommend going to your pediatrician as a first step to get referrals. But if you're looking for a virtual option, less intensive support, not necessarily a treatment program, I recommend teen counseling. If you haven't heard of teen counseling, it is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network. It is better. Helps branch of online therapy, specifically 14. So they have. Licensed therapist that specialize in the adolescent demographic and everything that comes along with being a teen. All those unique challenges that kids or adults might not necessarily relate to.

So as I mentioned, they offer support on things like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, so many different things. No matter what you are struggling with, they will match you with a therapist that specializes in that area. So if you wanna check out teen counseling, You can go to teen counseling.com/she persisted and find a therapist to meet with via talk text or video counseling.

So depending on what level of support you're looking for, they meet you where you are at. I have utilized all three before and have found all three to be very helpful in my therapeutic journey. Sometimes you need a video session, sometimes you need some text support. Sometimes you just need a phone call to get you through the moment.

So teen counseling caters to all those different levels of support. So again, if you wanna check out teen counseling, you can go to teen counseling.com/she persisted to find a therapist today. I'd love to talk about your approach now because you have this amazing background and this amazing context to why you're doing what you're doing, but I'd love to talk about your approach because it's so unique and all the different health coaches I've encountered. There's a lot on the internet these days, and everyone's giving their 2 cents on TikTok.

But I think it's very interesting how two of your main pillars are self-love and mindset. Mm-hmm. A lot of the times you don't see that in health coaching. So I would love to get your, your thoughts there, why that's so crucial and on the same playing field as these other things like nutrition and exercise and how that helps.

Impact to the results and the sustainability of the behaviors or mindset shifts that you're making?

Erin: I really feel like mindset and self-love are the foundation upon which we build our strongest self, our upon which we can reach our highest potential. And that without those things and awareness around those things, we can do all of the.

You know, eating well and exercising and maybe throwing some meditation there, but it just doesn't stick or land. I also think in anything we do in life, the intention behind it has a profound impact on the results that we get. If we are moving our body and putting food into our body and, and we're doing it from a place of lack.

And unworthiness like, oh, I only get this rice cake with whatever light cream cheese on it because my body's too big, and that's how I'm gonna fuel myself. And that's the intention behind what I'm putting in my body. We attract what we put in, we put out so. It's only feeding into more, lack into less self-esteem.

Whereas if we build that self-love muscle and we are taking actions that are aligned with that in the way that we speak to ourselves and the way that we are moving our body and the way that we are feeding ourselves the body reacts so differently to that. So, in my mind, we can't talk about health and wellness without.

Talking about these other things, when I developed my eating disorder, So much of that was because I was just focused on what other people were telling me to eat and how other people were exercising. I became so disconnected from my own body and what I enjoyed, and I mean by the time I was in my twenties, I had no idea when I was hungry, when I was full, what I actually enjoyed eating.

How did I actually enjoy working out? I was so disconnected from so many parts of myself, and so it wasn't until I actually started working with a coach myself that. I really began to a, be able to get back inside my body. Anybody who's struggled with mental health or an eating disorder can probably relate to the fact that it's easy to disconnect from the body.

We feel like we can't sit still or we dissociate or, , when the feelings get too hard. I, I, after the hospital found myself in a space where I was binge eating a lot. , and it was like a way to just bury the feelings and the anxiety and for a moment to feel nothing. I. And so when I started working with the coach, that was the first time that we did some somatic work, really getting into the body and actually sitting with the feelings that were there with the pain points, allowing myself to fully experience those.

And what's cool is that when you get into the body and you notice, oh, my chest is so tight, or My heart is hurting, or my throat is tight, or I've got this pit in my stomach, and you. You sit with that with compassion and love, like you're not pushing it away. You're not judging it. It can intensify at first, like a wave building, but then like any wave, it crashes down and it dissipates.

And the same goes for the feelings and emotions that are trapped within your body. And so as you feel them more, the healing occurs. You're not having to turn to food or drugs or sex or, , experiencing such high anxiety or such low lows. And so this was really profound for me in truly healing my relationship with food and my body.

And the other thing I did with my coach is we got really clear on where I wanted to go. You know, how did I want to feel in my life? How did I want to feel in my body? And then started taking the steps to get there. Now this time around when I was moving my body, I was looking at what do I actually enjoy doing?

What feels fun? How much energy do I have right now? Like, Do I actually need a grounding yoga class to support my nervous system, or do I have high energy and I'm like roaring to go and I'm gonna go do a 10 k run because that's what my body needs. So it was a lot more checking in and noticing what was going on.

It's when I started learning how to eat intuitively. Which one of the, the biggest components of that is learning. Two things. One, to connect back to those hunger and fullness signals. We call it honoring hunger and fullness. And a second pro component is learning to cope with emotions without always using food.

So as we learn when we're hungry and when we're full, we can fuel our body and nourish our body with. Foods to support that. And we can also start to differentiate like, oh, I'm not actually hungry right now. I'm bored, or I'm excited, or I'm, , a wide range of emotions now with intuitive eating. It's important to know, sometimes you still choose to eat in those moments.

You're like, yeah, I'm sad, but I'm gonna have some chips. But we're just not only eating based on emotions. Mm-hmm. So working with the coach was, I. Incredibly profound for me. Like I hadn't met a therapist that I really connected with up until that point, and this was the first time I really connected and I really started seeing gains and felt like me again.

Mm-hmm. Or like I was uncovering who I was and starting to step into that. Mm-hmm. As my disordered eating voice and anxiety started to improve, I had so much more energy and mental space. For other things. Yeah. And that's when the initial idea of the Raw Beauty Talks original interview series was born and how this last decade really has unfolded.

Mm-hmm. , so yeah, I just, I can't. I can't stress enough the importance of having a support system in place, whether you're at the stage where you're in the hospital or you find an incredible therapist that you resonate with, or you're working with a coach. Whether it's business or health and wellness for me or whatever it is, I am so big about surrounding myself with people that I admire and that have already found a system that works, and then leaning into that and getting myself as close to them as possible, reading their books, listening to their podcasts, all of the things.

Sadie: What was helpful from the support system in the early days, whether it was parents, friends, family members. I feel like people are very much at a loss with supporting someone that's really struggling with their mental health, especially when it's disordered eating. I feel like there are so many terrible media portrayals where they're like, let's go out for burgers and get a milkshake.

You're like, that's probably not the best way to approach this. Yeah. But what was helpful from your periods and your parents and obvious. Treatment was really essential, but what do you look back and say? That was really nice. Like that was really great. That stuck with me and that helped me on my journey rather than causing more things to stress about.

Erin: Mm-hmm. It's so hard for the support network to know what to do. Yeah, and I think we all fumbled about a lot, but the main thing I think from my parents was they just never, they never left my side. And I knew even though, especially with my mom, there was a lot of like it just drove me crazy that she was watching what I was eating and trying to push me to eat more, and that she was always there.

It was driving me crazy, but at the end of the day, I needed that. In that moment of my life, my dad was very had no idea what was going on. I remember him saying like, you just got to eat some chocolate bars. You're really worrying your mom. And then he would be like, okay, well why don't we start going to the gym daily and that will work, your appetite back up.

Cause I would say, you know, he just, just didn't get it. Even when I was, they were talking in the hospital and stuff, I think it was really hard for him to process, but at the end of the day, he, he was, He was always there and I ended up going into the hospital because of him and that one request that he made when clearly it was starting to hit him, what was going on.

Mm-hmm. I think from a friend standpoint, I had a couple of really great friends and. I don't remember what they said in the moment, but it would've been the same thing, like I would've known that they were there in high school. I don't think anyone has a clue as to what to say. Yeah. But what I would say now, having worked with hundreds of women and having had conversations with so many women about this type of thing, one, check in with somebody if you think that they're struggling.

People often don't know, should I say something or not? And the way that you can approach it is rather than commenting on their body or their size, just say, Hey, you don't seem completely yourself these days, and I'm a bit worried about you. How are you doing? And is there any way that I can support? What do you need in this moment?

And just open the door for them to open up if they're ready for that. I think sometimes people get. I'm very frustrated with people who have, especially eating disorders, and they take it personally and they're like, why are they being so annoying about this? They're like, why aren't they coming to my birthday party?

Or Why, you know, this, that, and the other thing. So doing your best to hold that empathetic, compassionate, open heart for the individual and checking in with them. I think that's the best place to start.

Sadie: I love that and I love that exact phrase of, you don't seem like yourself. Because like even thinking through, when I see someone struggling, I've never known exactly what to say, but I think that is such a great way to put it.

And it gives them the opportunity to share and circle back if now isn't the best time. Yeah. , the last thing that I wanted to ask you about is what you mentioned early on, which is about how the media portrays body image and self-esteem and all of these things that we are surrounded with. You've done so much work now to shift that narrative, and obviously things have changed over the years, but I was wondering if you were a teen at this point, what would you be doing as you're consuming content on social media?

Would you be, I. Blocking people. Would you be curating a feed? Would you be avoiding certain topics? How would you approach all of this extreme amount of information and content that teens are getting these days?

Erin: Mm. Well, the first thing I want to say is I would get off of it, but yeah. Can I even offer myself that same advice at 38?

No. So let's be real. , Well, what we know from a research perspective is that a teen brain can't handle social media until at least 17. Mm-hmm. The teenage brain is wired to fit in and belong with their peers, and the messages that you receive on social media require you to be quote unquote popular based on the number of likes and the number of people following you.

, which, Tends to require girls to sexualize themselves to appear older than they actually are. And this causes a huge amount of dissonance because at some level, girls also know that they aren't completely safe when they do that. So the inner stress and dissonance, cognitive dissonance that this causes has.

A huge impact on the teen brain, and so we know that it is going to increase levels of anxiety, put you at greater risk for depression. This is a topic that. It is not easy. I have two kids now, seven and five, and I am like, how are we going to deal with this? Because I understand that so much of the social connection occurs on the apps, and I've heard of people missing sports practices because now the team communicates through Snapchat and so there's.

There's components and elements of it where you want to be included and you don't wanna be isolated. But really, if we're looking at protecting your mental health, protecting your brain at that, at that very vulnerable stage, I would be staying off of it completely. Yeah. The second thing is I used to get these magazines that I would subscribe to and they would be delivered every month to my doorstep.

I lived for these magazines. Poured over them, loved them. It was the most exciting day of the month when they came. There was an editor for that magazine who designed all of the pages and all of the editorial. We didn't get to pick what was in it, and so the models that we saw were the ones that somebody somewhere along the line decided were gonna be the ones in the issue today.

With social media, it's like you have a magazine, you are checking that magazine and reading it. 2,700 times a day. The only difference is that you are the editor. You get to decide. Who those models are. You get to decide what fashion you are seeing. You get to decide if it's inspiring content. If you're learning how to cook, you're deciding if you're listening to motivating stuff.

Maybe you love makeup, so you're learning tips around makeup or whatnot, but you get to determine what is in your magazine and you are looking at it. So many times a day that you better damn well believe that it is impacting your life and the way that you see yourself, the way that you view your potential, and what you are attracting into your life.

So you have to get so diligent. About what it is that you are viewing and how it is impacting you. If somebody is making you, if you're noticing jealousy coming up, if you're noticing feelings of insecurity, it doesn't mean you have to unfollow that person forever, but for right now, it's not serving you and your energy.

And the more that you have things pumping into you that are feeding that insecurity, the more you're going to attract stuff into your life that you don't wanna be attracting. Relationships that are bringing you down a job that you don't even want. The list goes on and on and on. So the biggest tip that I have here is to put on your editor hat and get into your app right now and decide how you want your app to make you feel.

What it is that you want to see and remember, you can constantly be changing that, editing it, , and making it work for you versus against you.

Sadie: I love that. And I think that's the best part of some ways that we consume content these days. Whether it's things like Pinterest or the podcast app, , even I think like the shows you're watching, like you do have that control to make it such a positive experience and have it be even like a tool.

In your toolbox, whether it's like sprinkling in self-love quotes or having like mental health educators in your feet, like there's so much potential there. It's just about being a critical consumer. And then like you mentioned, being mindful and being like, Ooh, I don't feel great looking at this photo, or I'm being really judgmental, so how can I adjust?

And being aware of that is just fundamental in this whole

Erin: process. Yeah. Yes,

Sadie: exactly. Well, thank you so much for sharing so much of your story. So many amazing pieces of advice. I know so many parents and so many teens alike are going to adore this conversation. If people wanna continue to consume your content or work with you, where can they find you?

Erin: I think the easiest place is over on Instagram at Raw Beauty Talks or raw beauty.co. I'm also going to leave you with two handouts. So one of them is 27 Self-Love Affirmations, and what I recommend for this one is that you download the printoff, read through them, and pick one that resonates. The most with you.

So there are gonna be ones that just feel like you're, you know, you're saying it, but it's not really landing. Find the one that resonates with you. Write it on a sticky note, and then pop it up on your mirror. And, and every time you look at your mirror, I just want you to put your hand on your heart and say this phrase one time.

, let it land, let it sink in and do this exercise for about a week. See how you feel. And then the other thing I'll leave you with is 55 ways to feel better in your body. And these are 55 ways that don't have to do with dieting. , that will just help you elevate the way that you feel in your own body.

Sadie: I love it. Thank you so much, Erin. Thank you for having me.

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