89. Bailey Stanworth on Social Media + Mental Health: Societal Influence, Creating Boundaries, & Virtual Vulnerability

Mar 1

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Today's guest is Bailey Stanworth—founder of PLAY digital, co-host of What Day is It?, and a self-proclaimed accidental influencer! In this episode, we take a deep dive into Bailey's mental health and body image journey, how society influences self-esteem, setting boundaries as you consume content, mood-boosting follow recommendations, being vulnerable online vs. in-person, advice for SMMs/creators, and more!

Bailey's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baileyjst/

What Day is It: https://whatdayisitpodcast.com/

PLAY Digital: https://www.instagram.com/playdigital/

This week's DBT Skill is Mindfulness (Participate/Observe/Describe + Nonjudgementally/Effectively/One-Mindfully! Learn more here: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/mindfulness/

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ Five Minute Journal

SHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOC

Episode Sponsors

🛋This week's episode is sponsored by Teen Counseling. Teen Counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network offering support with depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and more via text, talk, and video counseling. Head to teencounseling.com/shepersisted to find a therapist today!

☕️This week's episode is brought to you by Nutpods. Shop their delicious Vegan, Gluten-Free, Non-GMO, Kosher, and Whole 30 creamers today and use code 'SHEPERSISTEDPODCAST' at checkout for 15% off your order.

🍓This week's episode is brought to you by Sakara. Sakara is a nutrition company that focuses on overall wellness, starting with what you eat. Use code XOSADIE at checkout for 20% off your first order!

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host Sadie Sutton. Every Friday, I post interviews about mental health dialectical behavioral therapy and teenage life. These episodes break down my mental health journey. Teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase testimonials from individuals, including teens.

Whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve your mental fitness. This podcast is your inspiration to live a life you love and keep persisting. Today's DBT scale is the DBT mindfulness skills.

So there is a great acronym for this, which is Neo pod and E O P O D. So in Neo is how you are doing these skills, which is non-judgmentally effectively in one mindfully and pod is what you are doing. So you are participating, observing and describing. So through the context of social media, which is what this episode is all about.

If you are practicing mindfulness, Fully participating in the moment as you're scrolling, you are observing what thoughts, feelings, emotions come up for you. And you're describing that in a nonjudgmental manner and you're being effective. So if a negative emotion comes up, you maybe you choose to be effective by taking a break from being on Instagram and doing something that instead boosts your mood.

So you are participating, observing and describing without judgment, doing one thing at a time and being effective.

Hello. Hello. And welcome back to another episode of super assisted. Today. We have Bailey Stan worth on the podcast and we're tackling one of my most frequently asked questions, which is how do you manage your, a healthy relationship with social media and mental health? Bailey is the founder of a creative agency called plate digital.

They manage a ton of different social media accounts. She's also the host of a podcast called what day is it? And she is what she calls an accidental influencer. So she went into content creation, really just loving what she was doing and gained a following without meaning to. And so I love her content.

It is so authentic and aesthetically pleasing. She has some of my favorite stories and reels to watch on Instagram. I definitely recommend you follow her, but she is so transparent and open with her struggles with body image and confidence and therapy and mental health.

And so when I thought about who would be a great guest to cover this topic with, she immediately came to mind. So Bailey and I dive into this in so much step that we talk about great people you can follow to boost your mental health, how to balance, content creation slash consuming content and mental health tips and tricks.

Bailey has accumulated along her journey, her struggle with body image and an eating disorder and so much more. So if you enjoy this week's episode as always make sure to leave a review on apple podcasts and now Spotify, they let you do that share with a friend or family member.

And if you share on Instagram, I will make sure to give you a little shout out, repost on my stories so without further ado, let's dive into it.

I am so excited to have you on cheaper assisted. I can't wait to dive in. Yeah, just thank you for joining

Bailey: me. Oh my gosh. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. I've been following you for, like, we met through Alexis kind of like originally you're so talented, like so, so talented.

Sadie's so

Sadie: yeah. You too. I remember once I started like being aware of the social media management world and what you were doing and just loving your work and going in and following like all of the accounts that play was managing and all, all of that kind of stuff. So it's, it's really cool to connect and have you on the podcast.

Thanks. So I want to do a bit of a mental health deep dive and kind of talk about your story and then talk about all the ways that you are maintaining, prioritizing, improving your mental health now. So. Take me through your mental health journey. I know that's a huge question. But, but starting at the beginning when did you start to notice that your mental health was different or you wanted something to shift or things just didn't feel in alignment?

Bailey: Yeah. I mean, I'm 31 now and I definitely didn't really start even realizing mental health needed to be a priority in my life until like my mid to late twenties. I grew up in, I think my generation being a millennial, like we really didn't talk about mental health, the way that it's talked about today.

So. Looking back. I'm like, oh my God, there was so much, I was going through that. Like, I didn't even hold space for like, didn't realize was important because we're always talking about physical health. And I mean, that's a whole other thing to unpack from that age. But my mental health journey really didn't start until I kind of started play, which was, I was 28.

And I think I had started to realize that like I was in a very high. Stress environment. And I wasn't living a sustainable lifestyle and I was just constantly like working myself to the bone and for someone else at that time. And I love my job. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not like talking crap on that business, but I just, it was something where I was continuously feeling burnt out.

Like I always had a perfectionist mindset and like a black and white kind of perspective on the world. Yeah. That really played a toll on my mental health. And when I decided to leave my full time job and kind of take a risk on myself and start a business, it was really scary as I'm sure anyone can imagine.

And I was kind of forced into figuring out my mental health at that time because it got really bad before it got to a point where I. I can't do this. Like, I kind of knew something was going on when I was working on my other company, but, or not my other company for my other job. And then when I started my company, I was like, this, this isn't normal.

Like, there's no way this is normal. Like, I shouldn't be not able to sleep at night. And like how my mind wandering. I shouldn't be constantly feeling like I'm running on empty. Like there were just so many signs and I was trying to figure out what were symptoms of. Like, if it was something physical with my body or, and then I started talking to a naturopath and she's like, you've got to take care of your stress.

Like stress was, I think the first indicator of mental health and realizing that like, wow, like, okay, I need to take a look at my mind and not just my body.

Sadie: Yeah. And it's so interesting because we. I live in a world where stress is so normalized. It's almost kind of romanticized, especially I think in like the college life kind of hustle and, and, and working.

It's like, oh, I'm so stressed. I couldn't sleep. I have all these deadlines. And it's like, that's, it's our bodies. Aren't meant to sustain that over long periods of time. It's just not possible. You've been super vulnerable and transparent talking about your body image issues and end your journey there.

And struggling with an eating disorder. I want to dive in to, to that journey. And what that looked like for you. And when you made the decision to, to shift the relationship with yourself, and then we'll kind of dive into like what worked, what didn't, what you wish you would have done differently, but to start, what was that experience

Bailey: I mean, I think it kind of goes back to like, again, growing up in such a society that didn't really put health first, it put me via glamorization of like these skinny body types.

And so I was always, I grew up in dance culture, so it was always very surrounded by. Body focused perspective. And back then there was really like only one body type that beauty standards kind of said was like worthy. And that was like the skinny lean like model. And so I just remember always seeing that.

When I was in high school is kind of first one. I was introduced to diets and then I w I'm five, nine, and I was always the tallest girl in my class. So like naturally I always just felt a little bit bigger than everybody else. And so it really stuck with me. I was always like, kind of hidden in the dance class because I was in the back cause I was taller.

I was just kind of commented on like I was taller than the guys and like seventh grade. And so. My body, my relationship with my body image was really difficult. And it wasn't something anybody talks about. Like, you didn't think God wouldn't have social media cause I would have been destroyed. But we still had magazines.

We still had TV and media and like are a lot of my friends, moms, and like my mom at that age where like taking diet pills and just seeing all of these different things. So I think that was really. The bubble that I was in around body image. And that did end up leading to me developing an eating disorder or for, I mean, it was like over, I would say like a lot of years, but it was in the thick of it from probably like the ages of 17 to 22 for about five years there.

And then I just kind of. Was like, again, I'm I get to these points with myself and like, I'm grateful I have this. Self-awareness where I like check in. And I'm like, this isn't sustainable. I can't live my life like this. I don't want to live my life like this. And I just kind of was like this isn't it. So I stopped doing what I was doing to harm my body, but.

Then you come and you open up this whole other can of worms of like trying to heal from something that's been so ingrained to you from such a young age and still is like in society, such a prevalent thing that I think we, I mean, if anybody has, and I feel so happy for them, but I think everybody struggled with their body at some point in time.

So I just really had to do a lot of work and I still have bad days to this day. I will never say to someone that. You're never going to have a bad day like that to me has never been the goal. And that was at the time, like I thought the goal was to never have a bad day again, to never look in the mirror and not like a part of your body, but I've had to realize, like, it's not that it's about supporting yourself and loving yourself through those days to the point where like you just hold space for that, because you're never going to be free of.

The downs, like life has always going to ebb and flow, whether it's body image, whether it's work-life balance, like it's just always going to be there. So for me, it was like developing tools and just being able to like support myself. Yeah,

Sadie: no, I completely agree. The challenges are always there. It's just being able to cope with them in a way that doesn't derail you or.

Backwards on your journey, which I think when we get to those low points, it's one year just constantly on a downward and those coping skills are what's derailing everything and making things worse.

Today's episode is brought to you by teen counseling as Bailey and I talk about in this episode therapy with a huge part of both of our mental health journeys, and it can be such an amazing resource to have in your toolkit. So teen counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network that offers support on things like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and so much more.

If you've. Better help. Teen counseling is their team version of better help. And it's specifically directed at the teen demographic and teen challenges. So they offer text talk and video counseling. So whether you're looking for a lot of support and want a full hour long video therapy session, or you just want someone to tax back and forth, get a little bit of professional insight, professional advice, they can meet you where you're at.

What you're going to do is you're going to head to teen counseling.com/she persisted. You're going to fill out a quick survey about what you're hoping to work on in therapy. So maybe that's stress associated with school. Maybe that's, you're feeling depressed. Maybe it is navigating a conflict with your parents, whatever it is, you put it in the survey and they match you with a therapist that meets your needs.

Then you put in your parent's email and they send an email to your parents to super vague. It's not none of your information is this close and it's a Sadie or whatever your name is, is hoping to work with a counselor from teen counseling. Please click here to learn more and give consent for treatment.

This is because you're under 18. So your parent has to give permission for medical treatment and like I said, all of your privacy is completely protected. I sent it to myself. I know exactly what the email says. So after that, you can start meeting with your therapist and again, talk taxed. Video counseling are all available. There are 14,000 licensed therapists that you could be matched with and they help with so many issues like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, conflict, stress, you name it, and they can support you.

So again, that is teen counseling.com/she persisted to find a therapist today.

Do you think that we are still in the bubble, you described growing up, do you, because of social media, because of how much like body image and superficial culture is to let thing, do you think it's different?

Like, what are your thoughts on that? That's a good question. I

Bailey: mean, it's a big one. I do. I don't like, I feel like we're in. This different bubble, like a bigger bubble, because we've got social media and there's still these body types, like you see in media and you see like the face tuned photos and the Instagram models, and there's nothing wrong with them.

Like if that's their body type and that's what works for them then. Cool. But I think it's amazing that we do have a more diverse. Representation of body types now. And I think the thing that we all need to remember is we have the power to cure what we want to see when it comes to our social media.

Anyways, maybe not like TV shows or what you're consuming a media, but I really had to, at one point, look at my Instagram and yeah. I'm looking at beautiful thin models whose bodies I will never have. I could go back to all the horrible, horrible things I was doing to my body and never, ever looked like them.

So why, when I'm scrolling and looking at this and I start feeling like, shit, sorry, if I can swear you, can I start looking like shit? Why am I continuing to put myself in that mental space? Like that's not a part of the work and the growth that I've done. So I had to, if they were friends, like that's not their fault.

I had to meet some people for a little while, until I was ready to see that. Again, some people I unfollowed, I went and found people who had more my body type. I went and found people at different body types because I also want to learn from different perspectives. And I have friends of all different sizes and all different ethnicities and everything.

And I just want to. I don't want to be inside that bubble. You know what I mean? I want, I want to live in a bigger bubble. So I think for me, that was really important was to curate what I was doing.

Sadie: Yeah, no, I, I feel the same way and I love to give this example, obviously involved the podcast Instagram all the time, but when I'm on my personal Instagram, I really like to curate it to be something that I just like enjoy.

And that brings me like entertainment. And so literally my entire explore page is only nail videos because that's what makes me happy. So it's like, I like, and I'm like a, an 18 year old teenage girl who is interacting. My friends and my family, and yet the algorithm can still be a place that can, it can boost your mood and can not just be detrimental.

If you had to name like three people that you see on your feed and they instantly boost your mood. They're like someone that you're happy to follow. Who would they be? Ooh. Okay.

Bailey: I mean, Alicia McCarthy.

Sadie: Yeah. I was going to say people or just accounts in general.

Bailey: I just love the way that, like for me, a long time movement with my body was really toxic.

I hated working out and I've had. Like for me, a lot of the time not working out as a healthier choice because I just working out, puts me into a bad mindset again. But I've loved watching Alicia and her journey with how she moves her body and how happy it makes her like that just makes me happy. Literally any animal account ever like that, just I can't.

And I love accounts like Upworthy or taint. Good news. I literally will watch like videos of people like hugging at the airport. So just like those little things and just start sopping to myself on my couch. I'm like, but it makes me feel good, but I'm crying, but I feel good. For people like, I just, I love that people who are.

Honest versus curated. I think people like the birds pile, obviously she's incredible at that. I'm drawing a blank, but like, I just, I love that the realness versus, and I struggled with this too. So like I get it. If anybody out there like loves the aesthetic of Instagram, but I just, when I'm scrolling, that's what I connect with is like the videos or the stories.

Sadie: Yeah. And there can also be a place for both of those. Like maybe on Instagram, you love to consume content that like is completely like boosting your mood, but then you go to Pinterest because you want the whole, you want the aesthetic, you want the inspiration you want like the creativity. So there's there's space for both of them.

You obviously have a significantly larger follow-up following than me. You share a lot of your mental health journey with, with lots of people, which is a lot of vulnerability. I think even though I've been doing the podcast for a while, and I was talking to my dad about this at dinner the other day, and I was like, yeah, people listen, but that's a number.

There's not really people listening. Like I'm still enough in that bubble. It's like I can share. And it's, it feels really safe. And of course people were like, oh, we love that episode, but something. I still have that block up where I'm like, yeah, they're listening, but it doesn't feel real. So I kind of wanted to get your, your perspective on sharing something as vulnerable as mental health with, with an audience and what that's like.

Is it easier than sharing things in person? Is it more challenging? What is it like when you get like negative feedback or criticism?

Bailey: Yeah. I mean, I remember the first ever like really vulnerable post I ever shared. And there's an account called Rob beauty talks, which is also a great follow their local here from Vancouver.

But she started this movement called real Instagram and it was like unfiltered photos. This was like back when like face tune and before people like really kind of were like unmasking that, and she tagged a bunch of people and like ask them to post a photo without a filter and just like, be really raw.

And in the moment, and the thought of that made my skin crawl, I got hot Whitey. I was like, there's no way I'm doing this. And I took a photo, not thinking I was going to do anything of it. And I wrote this caption just about my journey with my body. And this was the first time I'd ever said on a public setting that I had even ever had an eating disorder.

I don't even think that I'd really addressed it with my family or my friends. Like, I just, it wasn't the whole story that I posted, but it was just in there. And like that felt so vulnerable and it was so terrified, but I just was like, you know what, there's something in me. I got the courage and I posted it.

And I just got full blood. Cause at that time that was like, not my thing. I didn't have like any kind of more real stuff. It was very surface level. It was like captions where like Friday night outfit and like, you know what I mean? Like it was just, it wasn't, I wasn't there yet. And so it was just very different content for me.

And my DMS were full-blooded with like, oh my God, thank you for sharing this. So good to hear that, like I'm not alone. Like I've struggled with this kind of stuff as well. People were like, he looks so beautiful without makeup. And I was just like, whoa, like what? Like, I didn't post it for the validation.

It was definitely just like an exercise for me to step out of my comfort zone. But it definitely, when you are being vulnerable, it does feel good to kind of have that received. So warmingly and like openly, especially on a public platform where you don't know every single person who's following you. So that was like, The first step.

And I think had that been really a negative experience that would have changed the whole game for me, because I wouldn't have felt safe, continuously showing up. And it didn't happen like super quick after that, but I just slowly started taking baby steps in sharing things, or honestly, even just. Taking the content myself and then like writing it.

And even if I didn't share it, that was still like an exercise.

Sadie: It's almost like journaling is how I think of it. Like when I'm typing those things out, it, it really is like an exercise and like getting your thoughts out more so than like chairing it to see what people have to

Bailey: say. Yeah. And I have with, it had to really just kind of reconnect myself every time that I like go to share something vulnerable because there is always that risk.

Someone's not going to connect with it. Someone's not going to have the same experience as you. And that's all that's life. Like, that's how it's going to go. So I just make sure, like my why of why I'm sharing something is for me and never for like ego or validation or something that if someone does. Not relate to it or accept it.

It's not going to shatter me in a way it's kind of like self protection, but also I just do know that, like, it is a part of myself growth in my journey, but also I have just made such incredible connections with people by opening up and by sharing more. And I love that I can have like a connection with my audience online.

It feels like more than just the superficial exchange of like likes on a photo, because that just doesn't resonate with me at the end of the day. Like, I don't want to look back and be like, why did I post all these photos online? But like, knowing that I posted them because I was telling a story or trying to help someone like find the strength to show up that day, or just acknowledge that.

There are so many things that happen behind the scenes, or like, if you have a messy house, it's okay. You don't have to have like the clean house that you see everybody posting. So it's, it definitely has been a journey. And I love that you asked, is it easier to be vulnerable online or in person? And for me, it is so much easier vulnerable online, which is so weird.

I agree. I feel like you don't have to like see their face right away. And you also kind of like have this distance from it. Like there's a couple of people in my life who I feel very, very comfortable with, but it's also the same thing versus like a text and phone call. I kind of feel like or like an in-person meeting versus a phone call.

You just have that different barrier where like, you feel a little safer and stuff. Yeah. I, I hope that answered your question.

Sadie: It definitely does. I feel like I also think about how it's like a curated audience that resonates with what you're saying a lot of the time in person, when you're trying to connect with new people or you're dipping your toe in that vulnerability, you don't know how they're going to respond.

But if people are following, like for me, a mental health podcasts, they're at least open to the idea of discussing mental health or they want to invest in theirselves in some way. And so there's already like that like-mindedness that I really think helps with, with feeling not really like accepted, but it's feels safer to kind of put those things out there.

Bailey: Totally. I mean, I like sometimes when I post really vulnerable things, I'll see like a dip and followers like that. Drop-off and like at first I took that so personally I was like, oh my God. But now I'm just like that doesn't connect with them. I don't want that person here because at some point they could become, not that they're toxic, but it could become a toxic relationship because maybe they're not as into mental health as I am.

And so we're not aligned. So it is, I agree with you. Like you want the people who resonate. Or like in, in the same mindset as you. Yeah.

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I would love to hear what a great response to a vulnerable post is and what a not so great responses. Like some, I've seen a lot of those tech talks where it's like comments, you can pose that.

Don't talk about someone's body, like being like, oh my gosh, I miss you so much. Or that's my friend, like, blah, blah, blah. Especially when people are struggling, like these really body centered things. And I think that's true for vulnerability as well. Sometimes you want people to like give their 2 cents and be like, oh my God, I resonate with this.

And sometimes you're like, I don't necessarily want the feedback. Like it's just going out there for my own peace of mind. So what are some responses that, that resonate well in somewhere? You're like, why would that even be

Bailey: boasted? I mean, I really enjoy when I share something like say I was sharing about.

Something that bad happened to me with my mental health. I was really high stress, really high anxiety that day. I love hearing other people's experiences. Like if they were also living in that space, what triggered them? I, I think things like that helps someone feel less alone rather than just like, and there's nothing wrong with like the sending you love sending you a hug.

Cause that does like, that's still a great comment to leave, but I think. If you have the space to shares while I think it's really, really powerful a comment that like, I will get every now and then, and it's not like a bad comment. It's just, I think sometimes when people get vulnerable online, not everyone is realizing that how hard it is for them.

And then they'll comment something maybe a little more superficial, like, oh my God, your shoes, or just, and it's like, That's not what I need right now, or just like you, you look so, and it's like, I don't think the firearm ovaries it's like, I just, like, I just need to be seen. So I think I would really just like lead with intention.

Like you don't have to comment on those posts. That's so, okay. I think. If you do want to like, even the little hug emoji, like, I love that th that to me is better than the fire emoji. I think just, yeah, like read, read the room, read the post. Don't just come. Honestly. I think people need to read the posts before they start commenting.

Cause a lot of times, and I'm, I've done this before, too. I've like on friends, I'll just want to leave something like to hype them up and then I'll. Start reading. I'm like, this is not the post to hype them up on like super vulnerable. They're talking about how they feel like shit. They don't need to hear me be like, oh my God, you look like a 10.

Like, you know what I mean? So, yeah, I think.

Sadie: Yeah, no, I love that. I think that's so important. Obviously you, you are at a point now where you've done a lot of self work. And, and the impression I get is that you're, you're feeling good with your mental health and that there's a lot of things you found that, that work for you.

And I would love to hear what those, like practices, people, products, all those kinds of things are that you implement in your life to improve your mental health, or maybe.

Bailey: Oh, gosh. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's always kind of ebbed and flowed in what works in the moment. Like I used to be really big into a morning or a team, and then that just didn't serve me anymore.

It felt like I got to the point where I was feeling guilty if I wasn't doing it. So I think the biggest, biggest thing for me has just been like taking time to ask myself questions, like, what do you need today? Is it what you needed yesterday? Cause it probably isn't every day is going to be different.

I do love the five minute journal that has been something that I've used pretty consistently yet. I love to see that that makes for the best gift. Like I've literally probably bought in like over a hundred of those in like terms of myself and for others. I think having a slow morning for me is really important.

I used to be before I even focused on mental health, I would wake up and be like in work, just like in such a reactive state, that it really just put me into such a. Quick to like be combative or irritated. And so now I just really, like, I love to sit down and have my coffee in the morning and like watch Bravo.

Like that just sets me up in a good mood. Cause it's like my happy place. I'm just like slowly waking up and then I can really think like, okay, how is my time going to be best served today? What do I need? Like, again, it really just, I can't tell you how many times a day I asked myself, what do you need right now in this moment?

Like what's gonna serve you. In terms of like products and stuff. For mental health I'll honestly, I am on an antianxiety meds, changed my life. Like I don't think we talk about that enough. And I think that we can easily look at someone and think like they're not anxious or they have it so easy.

They don't deal with anxiety like I do. And so, like, I'm not afraid to say that I'm on that. I've been on them on and off for a couple of years. And I, I took a break and that was what worked for me in the moment. But then. I had a big moment in my life that kind of spiked my anxiety again. And I was like, listen, like I need them.

And I think there is a lot of shame around that because it feels like for me anyways, when I was like, kind of realizing that I might need them, I felt shameful that like, I wasn't strong enough or that I was going to become dependent on them or that there was something wrong with me. And it literally.

Is beyond anyone's control. Like it is a chemical reaction in your brain. You have no control over whether you have better, not like you didn't not do anything wrong. You're not a less than person. So I think that that is something that has absolutely helped me.

Sadie: Yeah, no, it's so interesting to see, especially around the topic of medication.

I think everyone has a different experience with it. And for me, I really approached it from like, that was what. I don't want to say that. Like, that was what made things real, but it was the validation that like other people, like doctors or my parents, these hold this, something was wrong. Like it was okay.

This not like it was okay. Someone was being like, yeah, there's a legitimate issue here that needs to be treated. And like to this day, I'm still on the same medication that I was when I left treatment. And it's like a safety blanket. I know I psychiatrist a couple of times if I'm like, you could probably go off of it.

And I'm like, well, why fix? What's not okay. Like, we'll just keep it for now. Thank you very much. But it's definitely something. President a lot of people's journey. And when you hear stories of people that really feel great about their mental health, a lot of the time you see that it wasn't like the medication alone, like you talked about how much self work you had to do, how the, all these other practices were a huge yeah.

The growth over time. And it's those two things in conjunction that a lot of the times is, is the game changer. And what leads to those long lasting results should I think is important to remember, because especially when you're navigating the medication experience, a lot of the time, it just feels like that's one of the first things.

Like a doctor we'll go to our therapist will go to and it feels like a quick fix and it's definitely not. And I think the more you get involved in that world, you realize that it's, it's not, but it can be such a it's like I heard in a book one time, it was talking about how it's like the water wings on your treatment journey.

Like sometimes you can't get. Into the air and in flight on your journey, because you're struggling with the biological component, you're struggling with the hormones and the neurotransmitters and how your brain is reacting. So to have that help, to then be able to cope and to truly dive into the therapy and the work and the healing and the relationships can be, be a game changer.

Yeah,

Bailey: it's so, so important. It just, mental health is such a journey. And I also think like, I don't want anyone to listen to this and like, think that they need to do exactly what worked for me because the biggest, biggest thing is you have to find what works for you. Like I said, how the morning routine wasn't serving me anymore.

You have to find the things that work, because that is what's going to keep you consistent and allow you to keep showing up for yourself versus like trying to dig in this formula that you see like someone online doing and just like constantly feel like you're hitting a wall and then you're going to get defeated, you know?

Sadie: Yeah. Yeah, no, I love that. And I think it's also interesting the idea of, of taking into account what other people are doing, I think is also really cool because I remember when I was struggling, when I was at like a rock bottom moment, I just had blinders on and I was like, my experience is the only experience I'll have for the rest of my life.

And there was no. What do people do with their belief systems? What are their emotions like? How do they cope? There was no kind of like exploration of that. And so once I kind of got out of that, that head space and was like, what could my life worth living look like? What could this feel? Like, what do I want it to be like, that was really empowering to like, have a goal to work towards rather than just like stumbling blindly towards like getting better or being happy, which felt way too vague.

Have to have a goal to work towards. I think it's definitely too true to kind of take what works and leave with Dawson and know that it's different for every single person, because we've all lived different lives and had different experiences. There's no one size fits all. Yes, exactly. So I would love to talk a little bit about social media more from like a business perspective and kind of talk about that experience a little bit about the hustle.

If you had to give like one piece of advice to someone that wanted to either work, I guess it might be twofold because you have the part of doing social media with, with you and your personality and your account versus kind of managing for other people. So the advice might be the same. It might be different, but one piece of advice for someone that wants to pursue social media as a career.

Bailey: Yeah. This answers, like always change for me because I feel like I'm still really learning and developing that skill set. Like there's just always something moving and you know, it's such a, it's such a big world, but yeah, I think the biggest, biggest thing, like just do what. Organically, you there's so many times that I've seen brands do this.

And there's so many times that I have struggled with this myself as like my own personal brand, trying to do what I see someone else having success with. And it doesn't matter if it's real. It doesn't matter if its styling. It doesn't matter if it's product reviews. If it's like posting quote tiles, like doing 10 stories a week, like, or a day or whatever.

If you hate it. And this goes, I think like literally what we were just talking about. Yeah. You're going to drop off and if you're not going to enjoy it, you're gonna get frustrated with why it's not working with you, because people are going to see that it's not like your organic personality. And there really is only one thing that makes you unique.

And that is exactly who you are. Like, there is no other person that is used. So showing up in figuring out, and you're going to ebb and flow with that. You're going to try, you're going to. Have things that you enjoy doing. That's a part of the exploration and the discovery, but just be self-aware of like, why you're trying something, if it is something that you think you're going to like, or if it's something you saw somebody else do.

And I think that that is a really, really, really important overlooked part of social work.

Sadie: Yeah, I think that's really true. And you see it all the time. Like the accounts that blow up are constantly different. It's, it's totally true. There are accounts that only post quotes that have millions of followers there's accounts that are only on Tik TOK, millions of followers, and they're completely different content and a perfect

Bailey: sample.

His tanks, like she came off, did this whole thing on her own with her mini Mike, how many people after that got many legs and tried to like do their own little thing, but it doesn't take off the same way because they're trying to replicate. What she's doing, and you can put your own spin on it. Like if you wanted to review, like, if you love reality TV and you start reviewing with a mini mic, it's not the mini mic that's making it it's but people try to just take her formula and then have the same success where she is just being herself.

So that's why it worked.

Sadie: No, it's, it's so true. And it's really like that. What differentiates you and that's what would make people want to follow you instead of some random other person that they see on their recommended?

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What is the best piece of advice that you've received or kind of taken in during your time working in social media?

Bailey: Ooh, that's tough. I think I've gotten like a lot of advice. One was like stay consistent and that really did serve me at some point, but now I'm just like, sometimes that doesn't serve me because sometimes I'm stressed out. And the last thing I want to do is like post a photo, you know what I mean?

Or like stress over content. And so I don't think that there's honestly like a piece of advice that I still carry with me to this day. Yeah, I just, I, I think we've lost the fun in social media and it has become such a business, which is incredible. Like it is such a tool and like, I don't think any brand out there should try and launch without using social media, but Tik TOK really in a way, taught me to like, have fun with it again, because that was a platform when I just jumped on it.

And. I was missing this. Like I was looking at my Instagram feeds, stressed about like what to put in my next photo on my grid and took talk. You just get there, you create content. Like it's fun, it's light. You can do anything. You just post it. And I'm like this needs to come back. So yeah, I just, I want to see people lean more into that because I think we're going to see this shift, especially in Instagram.

People showing up more in the moment than like banking, all this content and that being what performs, like, I think it's going to actually kind of go back a little bit more to like in the moment how it original.

Sadie: Yeah, shifting gears a little bit back to, to mental health. I would love to hear if there's anything you wish you would've done differently in your journey.

If you, you looked back and you're like, I wish I would have implemented this sooner. I wish I would've like asked for advice sooner. That kind of

Bailey: thing. Yeah. I mean, I definitely wish I'd probably learn what, like I needed sooner. I was such a robot for so long and like, so not in tune with my emotions and I'm still working through some therapy because like going back and like going to memories in my life, I feel very disassociated to like how I felt in that moment, because I literally turned off like my emotions and like, didn't prioritize my mental health.

I was just like, very tunnel vision, black or white, you do this, or you do that and never asked myself what I wanted or what I needed. It was kind of more or less like. What was going to make me like valued in people's eyes or what was like the societal norm or just things like that. So I think that was one of the most powerful things I've ever done and something that I definitely wish and hope that everybody can do as early as the Canada.

Sadie: Yeah. What would have been helpful in, or what was even helpful in supporting you in your journey when you were at your lowest, when you were really struggling with, with your relationship with yourself and you, you weren't at that point where you felt you taken like ownership and you were like, I have not control because we never have like, control over our mental health, but you felt good about things like before you were there, what was helpful or what would have been helpful?

Bailey: I don't have like specific moments where I remember this happening, but I'm sure that it did. And I know on the flip side, some people definitely did this where it didn't help, but I think having someone share their experiences where they're able to open up to you too, and like make you feel seen and make you feel heard versus being like everything's going to be okay.

Or I like those kind of common responses you hear? Not that they're bad. It's just. Sometimes it doesn't feel genuine because you just have heard it so much and it doesn't feel helpful. Like. You feel like that's what someone's supposed to say. So that's why they're saying it. And I think that anytime someone can kind of come from a more personalized response or just like sharing something, if you share something with someone, having someone reciprocate that vulnerability is huge, especially to me, like I just ended up feeling so much more bonded with the person and like, remembering that, that made me feel so safe to open up and share, because it is so scary to do that for the first time with someone and.

Yeah. I mean, that is definitely something that I would encourage people to do, or just asking someone what they need versus that it's going to be okay. Response, because quite frankly, no one fucking knows if it's going to be okay. So yeah.

Sadie: Yeah. Do you have any mental health goals that you are currently working towards or shifts that you want to see in your life?

I really like the journey never ends. Like if we're not progressing, we're progressing. And so it's a lifelong thing. It gets easier. It gets so much easier, but it never ends. Are there any goals that you're currently working towards?

Bailey: Yeah, I mean, I. So like going to therapy, I love therapy. It's the best thing ever.

Amazing. Yeah. And I'm trying to really work through some more childhood stuff and like reconnect with that part of myself, because I think that is rooted in a lot of. What I do still carry around. And so I think healing that part of myself is going to be a longer journey because I didn't have any tools at that point in my life.

So it really is something that, like I said, have dissociated from, but I am committed to like figuring that out. Cause I do think that makes sense. I think we have to fully understand like all layers and levels of ourselves. So I'm really, really committed to unpacking that it's not funnel ways, but it will be fair to say that I know that.

Sadie: Yeah, I love that so much. Well, thank you for sharing so much of your journey. So much vulnerability and coming on cheaper system. Thank you for

Bailey: having me. You had such great questions.

Sadie: Thank you. Where can listeners find you if they want to continue to consume your content and connect with you? Yeah. Yeah, I mean,

Bailey: there's a few my personal on all social platforms is Bailey.

T, and then I'm a co-host and a podcast. We talk mental health, reality TV, like a good mixture of like the deep and the light. So that's what days, days podcast. And then I don't really do anything on play digital anymore, but that still lives there. We're just busy, helping other people build their brands.

So we don't build up.

Sadie: I love it. I love it. It's, it's, it's enough to deal with other people in addition to managing it for yourself. So I totally get it. Well, thank you. Thank you. I know people are going to love this episode and I'm so glad we got to do that too. Thank you so

Bailey: much.

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