102. High School, College Apps, Dating, Podcast Growth, + More feat. The Girly Girl Podcast's Carmen Applegate

Jun 8

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Today's guest is Carmen Applegate—the host of The Girly Girl Podcast! In this episode, we answer all your questions about high school, content creation, podcast growth, Pinterest marketing, dating, boys, flirting, and so much more!

Carmen's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-girly-girl-podcast/id1527929846?uo=4

Carmen's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegirlygirlpodcast/

This week's DBT Skill is grounding. Learn more HERE!

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About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

[00:00:00] Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host. Sadie sat in a 19 year old from the bay area, studying psychology at the university of pencils. She processed. It is the teen mental health podcast made for teenagers by a team. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness you can expect.

[00:00:20] Evidence-based Tina proved resources, coping skills, including lots of DBT insights and education. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

[00:00:37] So let's dive in.

[00:00:41] This week's DBT scale is grounding. Grounding is an amazing mindfulness technique to use. When you are feeling overwhelmed, you feel really stuck in your head and you really need to get out of your emotions, thoughts, and urges, and get back into the present and feel less overwhelmed.

[00:00:55] The first step is to describe what you see, look around you. Non-judgmentally observe different colors, objects, people, places, whatever it is. Step two is to do some deep breathing. As always, we want to make sure that our exhale is a little bit longer than your inhale.

[00:01:10] So I like to do like two counts, inhale, pause three for an exhale. And you do this for about five minutes, focusing on your breath. Step three, after you have settled into your breath. You're going to do some mindfulness of your body. So how do your feet feel against the ground? How does it feel if you're sitting in a chair, if you're standing up, can you feel the anger going away? Can you feel your heart slowing down as you're doing more deep breathing, are you feeling tension being, let go, whatever it is, be mindful of your body without judgment. And step four is to observe with your other senses. So in addition to what you see around you, what can you smell?

[00:01:47] What do you hear? What, what are you touching? Maybe you are chewing gum and you can taste something really just incorporating the other senses into this mindfulness practice to wrap things up. So that is grounding. You can use this at any point. It is an amazing mindfulness skill and especially helpful in crisis mode when you are really stuck in your head and feeling overwhelmed.

[00:02:07] And it's great if you're just trying to relax and maybe before you go to bed before you have a task, it helps you get back into the present moment and feel less overwhelmed, less stressed out and less emotional.

[00:02:17] If you want to learn more about grounding as always, there'll be DBT, worksheets and links in the show notes to learn more. But with that, let's dive into the episode.

[00:02:25] Hello. Hello. And welcome back to another episode of she persisted. I'm so excited. You're here today. I have a fellow teen podcaster on the show, which I always love.

[00:02:33] So today's guest is Carmine Applegate. She is the host of the girly girl podcast. If you haven't heard of it as a teen girl advice, tips and storytimes podcast, she puts out episodes every Monday, covering topics like friendship, staying organized, navigating college applications.

[00:02:49] Dealing with burnout.

[00:02:50] Relationships and so much more. So if you haven't checked that out and you're looking for another podcast recommendation, make sure to listen to that, but I'm so excited for this conversation. We talk about everything in this episode, we talk about high school. We talked about what we wish we would've done differently.

[00:03:04] What we think we did well. We talked about transitioning to college, the entire college application process and what that was like for each of us. We talk about podcast growth, content creation, Pinterest, marketing, dating, boys, flirting, anything and everything you can imagine we cover in this episode, there are some amazing pieces of advice in here from my non-biased point of view, but I think you'll really like it.

[00:03:25] It's a great conversation. Sell 40, get into it, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, follow on social media. And if you want to submit questions to be answered, like the questions answered in this episode, make sure you're following me on Instagram at, at she persisted podcast. And every so often I will put little question boxes up on my story when there snap sewed, where I'm answering questions either by myself or with a guest.

[00:03:48] So make sure you follow there and enjoy the episode.

[00:03:51] Thank you so much for joining me today on chief persisted. I'm so excited. We got to do this.

[00:03:55] Carmen: Me to thank you for

[00:03:57] Sadie: having. Of course, of course. So we have so much, we're going to dive into today, probably going to end up talking about a little bit of everything, but I want to start with talking about high school.

[00:04:07] You just graduated. I just finished up my freshman year of college. I would love to hear kind of looking back fresh on the mind, your advice for high schoolers. I mean, obviously that's a huge question. Super broad. There's so many different places we could go there, but just starting. Is there anything that you wish you would have done different?

[00:04:24] Carmen: I think for me, the biggest thing was that I was coming in freshman year and I was so worried about what everybody would think, what people would say about me. And I would just be so obsessed with other people's opinions or trying to not do something embarrassing, or I wouldn't want to try something new because I was afraid I would embarrass myself.

[00:04:46] I wanted to play tennis freshman year for whatever reason. And I had never played. And I ended up not playing because I was like, that's so embarrassing. I'm going to suck. I'm not going to do that. Or even when I was starting out my podcast, I would, my first thought was what are people gonna say? And I think the biggest thing for me was just realizing like, no one really cares.

[00:05:09] And cause I always had to think about myself. I was like, how often am I thinking about like what other people are doing? How often am I thinking, oh, that's so embarrassing. Why would they do that? And even if that ever does cross my mind, which it rarely does, it's not like it lasts. And I'm constantly thinking about like, oh, like, Like what Sadie did.

[00:05:30] That's so embarrassing. Why would she ever do that? And just keep thinking about it. Like, no, that doesn't

[00:05:34] Sadie: happen. If someone does say that it's like 30 seconds and they move on with the rest of their life, like it's, so it's such, it's so short in the grand scheme of

[00:05:43] Carmen: things. Exactly. So I think the biggest thing for me was just realizing like, I should do like whatever I want to do.

[00:05:51] And if someone else thinks that's embarrassing or thinks that's weird. Okay. Who cares? Because like it's not their life and I can do whatever I want to do.

[00:06:02] Sadie: And I feel like a lot of the things that I was on the fence about, or that, like you were saying with tennis, like when it came time for college applications, even if it was something where it's like, okay, I'm not going to continue this in college, but I'm glad I tried it.

[00:06:14] I was so glad to have that to like put on my resume and be like, I tried a lot of different things. I figured out what I liked. Some things didn't work out, but I feel like you're going to look back and be glad that you tried those things and be able to say that you really put your best foot forward and be like, well, I thought about it and then I didn't end up doing that and there's nothing to show for it.

[00:06:31] So I think that's a really good tip. Is there anything that you are really glad that you did? Like you look back and you're like, this was a great decision. Would totally do this.

[00:06:38] Carmen: I think the thing that helped me the most with going into high school was I played a team sport. I played volleyball freshman and sophomore year.

[00:06:48] I sucked, I will say I was so horrible. On JV both

[00:06:53] Sadie: years. I was so terrible at all sports. My father constantly. Oh,

[00:06:58] Carmen: same, same. But even then I was just glad to have that, because I feel like when you're in a new environment, it's kind of hard to make friends. And by doing something that started in the summer, you were already going into the school year with having like a group of friends, even if it is.

[00:07:13] Like your volleyball friends or whatever, it makes it less overwhelming to start something new or to start the new year, even if you're a sophomore or junior and not like going immediately into high school. I feel like for me, it's always been overwhelming, like the first day of school, even if it's a school that I've been at for years.

[00:07:31] So it was just nice to have like a group of people that I knew or that I could walk past people in the hallway that I would know who

[00:07:38] Sadie: they. Definitely. I think that's a big thing at college shoe. There's some of those like pre summer like orientation things that people will do and even going into the first couple of weeks are definitely those groups of like the sports teams, all hang out together.

[00:07:51] The people that did the orientation groups all hang out together. And so it's definitely a way to have some people that, you know, a familiar face, someone that you can sit with, you can talk to, you can go out with. And even if you don't end up staying friends with them forever, like, that's totally fine, but you have those people to have like a foot in the door to get to know other people and find your group.

[00:08:11] And so it's, it's a great, great thing to have. And if you don't like, that's okay if you're like, I didn't even think about that. I'm starting school. I have not joined a team. I have not joined a club. It's going to be fine. And there are other ways you can do that. Like you can start school, you can immediately join clubs, you can do study groups with people in your classes and also form those groups.

[00:08:31] Yeah, for sure. College applications crazy. Overwhelming whole situation, one of the worst parts of high school, in my opinion, because you're like for sure, building up to this moment, that's all they're saying is like for college, for your application, like that's what you're building up to. And then it happens.

[00:08:50] And then there's like this awkward limbo period. And then you find out and you're still not at college. And then once you get to call. None of it matters. I have not been asked once what my act score was. No one is like, oh, what were your extracurriculars? Like, what did you write about for your, for your application?

[00:09:06] So it's just such an odd thing that someone you like have to do if you want to go to college. But going through that process, what was your experience? What were your thoughts there? I think for

[00:09:15] Carmen: me, applying to college was very a humbling experience because I definitely had. I was thinking very highly of myself, applying to a lot of hard school is, and I mean, I'm glad that I applied to safety schools and more like target schools as well.

[00:09:33] Cause I had some friends the only got into one school and that would be. Our state school. That's like in the city that we live in. And that was their only option just because they applied to only IVs or applied to all these things. So I'm glad that didn't happen to me. But I know when I was applying to college, everyone around me was telling me, they're like, oh, you're smart.

[00:09:54] You have a podcast. There's no way a school wouldn't want you. And then it's like, you get to the point where it's like, oh, you get rejected and you get deferred. Wait-listed whatever. And you're like, oh, Maybe I could have done things differently. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought. And that's a bit of a humbling experience, I think for me, but I mean, also at the same time, I think it's important to realize like, you'll end up where you need to be.

[00:10:20] Cause I always thought that I would go to this one school and I ended up, I applied early action, got deferred. So then I had to wait until April and I got rejected. So I got rejected pretty much from the same school twice, which was. Yeah, which was a lot, but then now I'm glad that I'm not going and I'm going now going to a school that I really like.

[00:10:44] And I think that all be much better at, so I think it's like, you'll end up where you need to be, even if like the waiting period is really hard, especially too, if you don't do early decision, that's like a lot of time where you're just sitting and everyone keeps asking you, oh, where are you going to college?

[00:11:01] Do you know what you're doing next year? And that can be really overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, Hmm. I don't know. Please stop

[00:11:09] Sadie: asking. Yes. Yes, exactly. No, I'm literally guilty of that because when you're on the other side of it and when you're not going through the process, it's like one of the easiest topics of conversation and you're nosy.

[00:11:19] You're like, I want to know where are these people going? But from the other perspective, you're like, please ask me literally anything else you don't want to talk about it? No, I think that's really interesting and I think it, I really don't like the process. I think that's a terrible experience. You are.

[00:11:33] Boiled down to like a sheet of paper of your grades and your activities and recommendations. And you're competing against your friends. You're competing against the people that are in your class or in your area. And it's, it just, it sucks. It's you. I don't even know how to like verbalize it because you're being boiled down and judged and it's like, you are putting all these best parts of yourself forward your best grades, your best recommendations, the things you are most proud of.

[00:12:01] And then someone is making a judgment based off of that. So it's really difficult. And the unknown is unbearable. It's so frustrating because it's months that you're not sure what's going to happen. It's your future. It's where you're going to live. That's who you're going to spend time with. It's what classes you're going to be taking.

[00:12:20] I do think from the other side of it from be going through the first year of college, I do think it's really similar. Like, yes, maybe like the location you're in or this specific professors that you'll have are slightly different, but for the most part, it all ends up the same thing. Like you're all taking the basic core classes.

[00:12:37] You're all like going out to similar parties on the weekend. You're all studying in the library. Once you get through it. And once you get to your school, you can be successful anywhere. And I think Penn has been a good example of that because they're known for having like really bad mental health. And yet I found that my mental health as human improved since going to college.

[00:12:57] So it's kind of depends on what you make of it. But like, if you. Start at one college, you can't find a community. You can't find a good group, you transfer and you do find your community somewhere else. Like it's really depends on what you make of it, the relationships you form, the clubs you join, the classes you take.

[00:13:13] And there's just endless opportunities, which can also be equally overwhelming because it's not as set in stone as it is in high school.

[00:13:20] Carmen: Yeah, no for sure. And then also like what you were saying. Like schools are all really similar. Also. You have to think like, what I kept telling myself was like, I'll be fine wherever I go.

[00:13:31] And it is like what you make of it. Even if like, if you have like financial restraints and need to like stay in stay, or maybe you need to stay like in the same town where you've gone to school. Every year of like your entire life, because of, for whatever family issue or reason, like you can still make the most of that.

[00:13:51] And it's really just like what you put into it. Yeah,

[00:13:55] Sadie: no, I have tons of friends that are from Philadelphia, were in school in Philadelphia. They could go home for dinner every night and they still feel so independent from being at home because you're living on campus. You're eating with your friends.

[00:14:07] You're obviously sleeping there. Your whole day is consumed by this college routine. So. I think regardless of where you end up geographically, it's a huge step of independence and you are able to live your life and make your own decisions, which is something that's really exciting. And, and an amazing opportunity.

[00:14:23] What do you nervous about and excited for going into college this next year?

[00:14:27] Carmen: So I think for me originally, it was more like finding friends, like finding my people. But I think like now it's really easy just to meet people or at least start talking to people that you're going to school with. Like over Instagram, like people make group chats and I mean, that's been nice.

[00:14:45] Cause I can't imagine. Going into college, having not like had social media be being able to like talk to anyone. Cause for me, that would be really overwhelming. And I'd be, just keep thinking about like, what if, like, I don't find anyone that I like, what if I don't really click with anybody, but like, I was able to find a roommate pretty fast and I've like talked to a lot of people, but I still think for me, it's like more about the social.

[00:15:12] Yeah. Issues like I'm not necessarily worried about like, academics. Cause obviously I know that I'll have to like work hard and do all that stuff,

[00:15:19] Sadie: but like doing that in high school. Yeah. But I've just really like a whole new community. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:25] Carmen: But for me it's always been more like what's happening like socially, because obviously that's like something that I'm most excited about, but also at the same time, it's something that I'm most

[00:15:34] Sadie: worried about.

[00:15:35] Totally. No, I think that's so true. And it's also nice because everyone is in the same boat. Like you're all getting to campus that first day, maybe, you know, a couple of people, maybe you don't, you all want to make friends, you all want to meet new people. At this point, we, people are looking for roommates.

[00:15:50] Everyone needs a roommate. And so you are all in the same. Kind of possession. My advice is get as many people as possible as numbers. Snapchat will be your best friend because Bitmoji is for what people look like. It's going to save you because you're going to meet so many people.

[00:16:06] You're going to learn so many different people's names. And even if you don't like get coffee with someone, even if you don't meet someone or. I end up becoming your best friend, having people that you can see around campus and say hi to, and at least be like mutual friends is great to feeling like you're connected.

[00:16:22] You have a community. And it's, it's helpful to meet new people again and kind of have a shirt in the door. But yeah, it's, it's a lot less stressful than you would think because everyone is in the same boat. It's not like you're transferring or you're going in like junior year of high school or sophomore year of high school.

[00:16:38] And everyone already knows each other. Everyone is coming from a lot of the times, all over the country, all over the state from different places that different friends in high school. And so everyone is in the exact same position. Everyone gets it and they all want to support each other and meet new people and create a community.

[00:16:54] So it's. Stressful, but also, yeah. Gets better with time. Shifting gears a little bit to answer some questions that we got, we have a couple of different themes here. one of the questions about school, which we kind of just touched on, but making the most out of senior year of high school things that you wish you did thoughts.

[00:17:16] Carmen: I think for me, especially the last, just few months of senior year, I've tried to make more of an active effort to like hang out with people because I'm more like introverted. So like at the beginning of the school year, I was all focused on applying to colleges. I had to get all this stuff done. I need to keep all my grades up and just focusing like everything on like my life and what's going on.

[00:17:39] And that kind of made me, I guess, push aside some of the friends. And just kind of like isolate myself in a way. But I think something that I wish I did, like more towards the beginning of the year is like actively be reaching out to people and trying to hang out and also just realizing that I can be nice to everybody because I'm not going to have to see these people after a few months.

[00:18:03] And even if I don't like someone, even if we're not very good friends, there's no use in really. If you were going to like exclude someone or say something nasty, cause like everyone's going their own way. So you might as well just be nice to people and like leave on like a good note. So then when you come home, you can have people to hang out with.

[00:18:25] Cause I know a lot of people have like gone to boarding school or gone to college and didn't leave in the best way and like left, like upsetting a lot of people and not really healing some friendships. And I've just tried to make a more active effort of like being nice to people, especially in like hanging out with some people that I might not normally hang out with.

[00:18:48] So that's been, I think, important and also will make your senior year more

[00:18:52] Sadie: enjoyable, a hundred percent. And once you get to college and you're in that awkward limbo period of trying to make friends of trying to find your community, but you still need people to lean on and get support from. Being able to use those high school relationships, those friendships that you have made and just call and be like, how are you doing?

[00:19:10] Like this week has been so stressful. Can I just talk to you? And vent is the greatest thing. And so really maintaining those relationships is huge. Same thing coming back over break. Like it's going to be so boring. If you have to hang out with yourself for weeks on end, like make those relationships at least.

[00:19:26] Somewhat amicable and you can reenter and hang out and like have conversations about what college has been like. And yeah, you don't have to be best friends with them. You're probably not going to spend a lot of time with them, but you're making yourself, you're making your life easier in the future.

[00:19:40] I feel like really taking advantage of being at home. I was so excited to go to the east coast. I was like, I'm ready to get out of California. And there was like little things that I miss, like being able to like drive around with friends and go to in and out and relax on the weekend.

[00:19:53] And the weather. And so those activities that you really enjoy, whether it's like hanging out with your talk or sleeping in on the weekend, or having a routine that you really like really taking advantage of that and doing those things now, because you won't be able to a college until you come back and visit.

[00:20:08] So that's something that I definitely wish I would have done more. So if you're like, should I go and go on a hike this weekend? And you're like, yeah, no, Go for it. Do it accumulate those memories so that when you go to college, you're like, I so glad that I did that when I still lived at home. I feel like that's, that's pretty much everything like prioritizing your relationships. I mean, the academics at the beginning of the year are super overwhelming. It's important to invest there because it's going on. Your transcript, colleges are going to. Finish out strong. I wish I'd finished out stronger than I did.

[00:20:40] I definitely senior-itis hit really hard. I went 110% with the podcast was not doing as much work as I should have definitely have regrets there. So keeping that balance, like making it so that you can maintain that academic effort throughout the end of the year, instead of just completely getting burnt out like I did.

[00:20:59] And then. Wow. This is not how I want it to perform the end of senior year. But then at the end of the day, also, like it's a great it's one point in time, life will go on. College will go on. Everything will be okay. And so like letting go of that pressure and giving yourself great.

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[00:22:25] Okay. Podcast tips. We have two questions here.

[00:22:29] One of them is tips for podcast growth. I think you are a great person to answer this. You've grown your podcasts so much, which is amazing. Congratulations. Thank you. Of course. What are your tips? Okay.

[00:22:40] Carmen: I think the biggest thing is to utilize. Social media which I feel like is obvious, but also the same time.

[00:22:47] It's like really hard

[00:22:50] Sadie: work and it's counted as a lot of work. Cause it's like the content you're creating as a podcast, but you're promoting it on social media. So it's like, you're balancing both of those.

[00:22:58] Carmen: Yeah, but I think for me originally, what helped the most to like, just gain traction and just get people who were interested in the content I posted, even if some of the content wasn't necessarily related to my podcast was using tech talk, I think, because right now, a lot of.

[00:23:18] I guess the most popular forms of social media, it's like video content, which that's, whether that's like making tech talks or making reels or sharing your tech talks or reels on Pinterest. Those are the ways I think it's really easy to. Go viral in a way, or like get more people to see your content, which that helped.

[00:23:40] And honestly, for me, that was like something fun because I, I like posting on tick tock, tick tock, tick tock has always been like my favorite social media app, even when everyone, like, when it first came out and people were like, oh, you're so weird for having. And I was like, no, I'm obsessed with it. So I think using TechTalk using reels and not always like posting, like, oh, Check out my podcast.

[00:24:09] Oh, you should listen to she persisted or, oh, you should listen to the girly podcast, but actually like producing content that's related to stuff. You would talk about an episodes. So like, for me, whether that's like doing like a tech talk, giving advice or doing a tech talk about something relatable, but then also incorporating videos that it's like, oh, if you liked.

[00:24:34] You'll like this podcast, but not having that be your only source of content, because you have to create a balance between like entertaining the people that follow you, but also getting people interested in what you're going to post. So it's kind of like posting a variety of things, but I feel like that is what helps.

[00:24:53] My podcast the most, and then also interacting with your audience, asking your audience what they want to see, not just posting what you want, but if you have like an Instagram account for your podcasts, like putting up a poll, asking, Hey, like what do you want to see from the podcast? What are you struggling with right now?

[00:25:12] Like what types of things can I help with? Or also just looking at bigger podcasting, what their. Looking at their social media pages, seeing what other people are doing. Well, I think that also helps as well,

[00:25:26] Sadie: looking at other podcasters in this space, obviously not calling out names, but ways people are promoting are what is something you've seen where you're like, that is not a good idea where you're like, I would not choose that.

[00:25:37] Hmm.

[00:25:39] Carmen: I feel like a lot of people are very like directly copying some people, like a lot of the bigger podcasts, like their Instagrams look very, very similar. Which, I mean, I can tell because I follow a lot of podcasts just for like inspiration stuff. But if you're someone who isn't following a lot of podcasts, obviously you're not going to be like, oh, Yeah, you

[00:26:02] Sadie: see, this is an original idea.

[00:26:04] Like, oh, this

[00:26:05] Carmen: is literally the exact same post that I saw on this other podcast page or I know a lot of bigger podcasts, some of their posts were ju will just be about like some sponsorship or something. And that might be all that they post, which obviously. Get sponsorship, the power to make your money.

[00:26:24] But if that's the only thing you're posting, like no one cares, no one wants to see that. And at least do it like in a more creative way. I don't know. But something that I do think is good that I I think you do is like posting clips from

[00:26:38] Sadie: your podcasts. So such an easy way to repurpose.

[00:26:43] Carmen: Yeah, it's good.

[00:26:44] And then also you're not having to create like new original content, and then you can post that on Instagram, on Tik TOK on Pinterest.

[00:26:53] Sadie: It's like literally drew it up on four platforms, one video, it's a podcast you've already recorded. Make your life easier. Yeah.

[00:27:00] Carmen: And I feel like a platform that's really slept on is Pinterest.

[00:27:03] Because you literally, if you read. And any video you've ever made a Tik TOK or real it'll gain traction on Pinterest.

[00:27:13] Sadie: Pinterest. I know I've been to do list after this. I've been

[00:27:16] Carmen: trying to do more, but I try to just post like, Go on Pinterest every few weeks. And just look at my rails or tech talks, whichever ones did best all post those onto Pinterest.

[00:27:30] And even if some of them don't do well, some of them do, some of them might go Pinterest viral, like you don't know. And it's just another way to get more access to people. All a lot of people use Pinterest as like a form of Google as like a search thing. So like, if you're a podcast and you're doing talking about like for you, you'd be talking about mental health or something.

[00:27:51] If someone has like a mental health question, they type that into Pinterest, they could find your podcast and it'd be something that if they didn't have social media, they could now have access to.

[00:28:01] Sadie: I also think it's a, it's a great way to throw up a ton of content because like Instagram, if you're posting like 50 times a day, people wouldn't like, I'm unfollowing you.

[00:28:09] This is so annoying. Whereas Pinterest, it's like, you are reaching an audience. That's not already following you so you can throw up tons of content and it'll get distributed in a different way. So you are able to put up more content without it being like really annoying and in your face. Yeah, I think you gave like tons of good tips there, like leaning into trends, being creative, not just promoting.

[00:28:28] I think the one thing that I have. That I've been seeing. A little bit too much, you know, those little graphics where it's like the phone notification box and it's like, listen to cheaper assisted. Yes, no. And it's a square graphic. Every single person that has ever had an Instagram for a brand has posted it.

[00:28:46] And if I see that one more time at my. The canvas,

[00:28:49] Carmen: the canvas. I

[00:28:50] Sadie: cannot with like the little thingy. I love a good canvas template. Please stop using that one. At least not. If

[00:29:00] Carmen: he's ultra it more like, of course use Canva. I use Canva. We love Canva. We love Canva, but we're not using that

[00:29:06] Sadie: template. It's so bad.

[00:29:08] It's terrible. Like, don't do that. You're not even pressing the button. Like what does it do, right. Should be illegal. That's.

[00:29:17] Carmen: I think my favorite thing that people post on Instagram as podcasts. I like those meme things about like, like the gala or like current events, but also I like seeing pictures of the hosts, I think There are a few podcasts that do that really well.

[00:29:32] I think one is like pretty basic or what we said where a lot of their posts are like pictures of the host. And then I feel like you kind of know them better. I'm not very good at that. I used to

[00:29:42] Sadie: do that more. We've got to get all that we're to we're going to do that. And then this summer it's happening guys, following on Instagram.

[00:29:48] No, it's true. It's funny. It's very much like dues. I say not as I do because. More real. Let's get more on the trends, like your like postings, you would post an episodes and I'm like, I should be doing that. I should be doing that. Got to implement the strategies. Me too, where we're making this episode is for us to like, listen back to that and implement that it's going to happen.

[00:30:07] But yeah, those are amazing. Then the other question about podcasting was tips for writing podcast, pitch emails. You have some guests on your podcast. Do you do a lot of pitch emails or not as much. I

[00:30:19] Carmen: feel like I don't really, I think this is more of.

[00:30:23] Sadie: Okay, I'll take you go. I'm ready. I have a pretty good pitch email template.

[00:30:29] I did the almost 30 podcast accelerator course, which was really good. Loved it. They teach you literally everything they know, and they kind of helped workshop my pitch email. I also worked with scout so bull. She runs Scouts agency and they do a lot of podcast pitching and she was like, oh, look at your pitch email.

[00:30:46] And I was like, you're literally the best. Thank you. But the key is to just be like, Hey. This is who I am. I'm like, I'm sad. I'm a freshman at the university of Pennsylvania. I study psychology. I host, she persisted as a teen mental health podcast to a little bit of like, why you want them on your show, then give like your show about the show.

[00:31:03] And then I like to do a bullet pointed list of like past five biggest guests you've had and then put in parentheses like how many followers they have on Instagram. So the guest is like, okay, like bigger people with bigger audiences also have taken the time to do this interview. And then make it super easy.

[00:31:20] Say would love to do this interview in the next two weeks. And the next month in June, whenever it is put a link to a Calendly is an amazing way for people to schedule and it makes it easier on their end. And then be like, let me know if you have any questions, but you want to make it as simple as possible.

[00:31:37] So anything and everything, they would need to know. Keep it in that email it's like about you about the show. What's the time commitment is a via zoom. Do they need video? How do I schedule? What's the date? What's your audience like, et cetera. And if anyone wants me to look, they're pitchy male, not that I'm very qualified at this, but happy to give it a once over and give any feedback, but yeah.

[00:31:58] About you about the show format at nicely include past guests and yeah. Make it easy for them to schedule, but it's really just kind of seeing what works as you improve your pitchy email. You'll see more guests saying yes. And I try to do like 20 to 30 guests pitchy emails a month, and that kind of return.

[00:32:16] Five or six guests that I'll sit down with every month. And so it's just kind of getting into the routine of things and lots of people won't respond. Lots of people will say, no, depends on who you're pitching, but some people might say yes, you never know. So I always am like literally pitch everyone every month.

[00:32:30] I'm like Selena Gomez come to my podcast every month. Her publicist is like, no, she will not. I'm like, I'll be back next month. So. It's okay. People are so willing to take time to do podcasts interviews. And especially if you're really passionate about what you're doing, they're willing to dedicate the time.

[00:32:47] So keep your dream guests on your list. Keep improving your PECI email and yeah. Listen to what works and what people respond to within your pitch, email.

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[00:34:05] Okay. Switching gears to relationships, boys, that round, we have a lot of questions. The first one is advice for people who are newly single.

[00:34:16] Carmen: Hm. So I'll be honest.

[00:34:19] The last time I. Had a boyfriend was freshman year of high school

[00:34:25] Sadie: was like sophomore year. So I have warded off boys. So really, really great recent advice.

[00:34:31] Carmen: Yeah. Yeah. It's been a while, but from my experience, the thing that helped me was really. Throwing myself more into my friendships or relationships with my family members, whether that was my sister or trying to spend more time with my younger brother or my mom or my dad, because for me when I was in a relationship, I kind of pushed aside a lot of my friends. And was it necessarily the best friend?

[00:34:59] Cause I was so focused on, oh my God, I have a boyfriend that's so exciting.

[00:35:05] Sadie: And we all consume it. Especially if that person becomes your best friend, you, you do let go of those other friendships. So it's definitely a learning curve.

[00:35:13] Carmen: Yeah. So I think for me like being, I guess if you're a newly single, like trying to reconnect with some of the friends that you might've neglected during your relationship.

[00:35:24] Being a more active friend asking people to hang out, I think is really good.

[00:35:29] And then also I think something that's important is, I mean, obviously like focusing on yourself, but maybe trying to think about, oh, like while I was dating this person, I wasn't doing. Y or Z as enough, or maybe you really like art and you weren't painting as much because you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you didn't have the time, but trying to get back into some of your hobbies, I think is good, but pretty much just finding things to do is always good, but also taking the time to really process the relationship and accept that things ended, I think has also.

[00:36:05] Sadie: Yeah, I think it depends on if you were like fully like grieving the breakup versus you're like, okay, I'm ready to like move on. Live my life. I think the grieving period, it's really hard, especially if you get dumped because it's like you have to mentally get to that place where you're like, I no longer want to be in that relationship.

[00:36:22] When I was thinking about this question, that song, what does it like 10 things.

[00:36:28] Carmen: 10 things I hate about you. Yes. Yeah.

[00:36:30] Sadie: That's what you should do. I highly recommend that strategy. You gotta like get the ethic. You have to create the act for yourself, especially if you get dumped. It's difficult because I, I have found myself like romanticizing the person after I get dumped.

[00:36:44] I'm like, oh my gosh, I missed a relationship. Like this was so quick. They were so nice, blah, blah, blah. You cannot do that. You have to do the exact opposite and be like, it was so annoying that they did this. They were disrespectful about this day. Their friends were annoying, whatever it is, and really try and like emotionally distance yourself.

[00:37:03] I am a big proponent of like the iconic, like eating ice cream, crying, like watching movies in that short term, really letting yourself feel it. And then like trying to like reintegrate, hanging out with your friends more, do things that you enjoy full distraction mode, I think. And it really just takes time.

[00:37:21] Like for me, there's been times where it takes, like for ever to get over someone into move on past a breakup, but you will, you, 100% will. But yeah, giving yourself time to like, process and work through that. Maybe for you, it works to like jump into another relationship for me. I like definitely have to like have this operation work through it or I'm like, I'm just overly distracting myself.

[00:37:42] But yeah, give yourself the time that you need to process. And then distraction is.

[00:37:49] Similar question. We did touch on this, but how to get over my ax. I think creating an Atlas is a huge one. I've seen that on Tik TOK. It's super helpful. I think one of the best ways is to like have a cross her get on. Feelings for someone else. And of course that's difficult, especially like, again, if you've just gotten dumped, if it's raw, if you are not able to like, really like emotionally be there for someone else.

[00:38:13] But I think that's like the surefire way to lose feelings for someone. So put yourself out there, start to get to know new people. Yeah.

[00:38:23] Carmen: Yeah, for me, I think it was helpful because I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend. So I feel like if you were the breaker upper person, I guess it's easy to think like, oh my God, maybe I made a mistake.

[00:38:37] We should get back together. I did something wrong. I regret that. But then you have to think, okay, if I had those feelings of, okay, this isn't working right. Then it wasn't working out and you need to think about that and like what you were saying, like, I think creating the eclipse a good is good and like not romanticizing everything because obviously if you broke up, something was wrong and that doesn't mean that like you were wrong or that other person was wrong, but just YouTube, it wasn't

[00:39:05] Sadie: working.

[00:39:06] Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's, that's a big thing is especially for me, I'm the kind of person who I always in the back of my mind with anything I'm like, there's the potential, there's the possibility. Whether it's like Selena Gomez coming on, she persisted, I'm like it's possible in some world. And so to kind of shut that part of you down is really helpful for totally like radically accepting the situation, especially if you've been dumped and it's like, you're like, well, maybe they'll come back.

[00:39:28] Or maybe like, We'll get back together when you're holding onto that hope it can be so difficult to emotionally move on because you're like, well, I want to stay emotionally available in case we like reconcile. So really letting go of that, if you can I think is a huge step in navigating that similarly kind of the question is to be in a relationship or not.

[00:39:51] Carmen: Like after breaking up with someone or just

[00:39:53] Sadie: in general, just in general. Hm. I feel it. Oh, you go first. No, you're good. Okay. You're good. Go. Okay.

[00:40:08] Carmen: I honestly it's, it's up to you because some people like what you said. Feel perfectly fine, throwing it themselves into like a relationship all the time, all the time.

[00:40:19] But for me, I know I can't do that. Or some people maybe you're just like a once and done type person and you don't want an actual relationship. So honestly, it's up to you. Like some people maybe that doesn't seem healthy maybe for you that works out. But I think for me it's more like realizing like, am I.

[00:40:41] Mentally prepared enough to like take the time to be able to handle someone else's emotions, to be there for someone else. Like, do I have that mental capacity? And if I don't, then it's not worth it.

[00:40:55] Sadie: Yeah. I think another thing that's really helpful to be like mindful of is what you feel like you need to do like a compulsive.

[00:41:03] Isn't totally the right word. But if you were in a Headspace where you. For example, just gotten out of a relationship and you're like, I need to find someone else. I need a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a partner, whatever that should be like a red flag that you're like, I gotta do some work internally because I don't need to be in a relationship.

[00:41:19] Like it's, in my opinion, if I was. Position a bit. I want to get to a place mentally where I'm okay with being independent. Same thing. If you're like, no, I need to be single. I cannot handle like being vulnerable and talking to someone and sharing that part of me. Then it's doing the work of like, how can I get to the point where I can be in a relationship and have that healthy interaction that like we as humans need.

[00:41:43] I think it's being mindful of like emotionally, what that urge is, whether it's to like, avoid or go towards something and do that internal work to where you're like, you know what, I'm okay. Either way, but this relationship is healthy. Fulfilling brings me joy if it's with the right person. And if not, you are also able to maintain your mental health, navigate that and feel good about yourself.

[00:42:02] Last question. No second to last question. Boys science, they like you drama, how to flirt, et cetera.

[00:42:10] Carmen: I think the biggest thing for telling if someone likes you is that honestly, most times you just know, you can just tell if someone, if a guy likes you. You know, and if you don't know, maybe they don't like you that much.

[00:42:24] And that's kind of hard to hear, but I think it's true because if someone really does like you, then they'll make an active effort to talk to you to check up on you, ask how you're doing, ask if you want to hang out or maybe also at the same time, like if someone's shy, maybe they'll just try to just be there with you.

[00:42:42] Even if they're not someone who's always asking to hang out. But if they're someone who's always around. Like in your friend group, always sitting next to you. I think that this, you can just kind of

[00:42:53] Sadie: tell, I feel like there's three camps you can be in. There's like the, I don't know if they like me. They definitely don't like you, if you're like, I don't know, in your asking around because you see no signs and in that case, I think it's fair to conclude at this point in time, they don't want you, there's the like middle camp of like, oh my God.

[00:43:12] I don't know if they like me. And they definitely do. Like you, you're just kind of. In that interim, not really sure what they're feeling, but like they're giving the vibes and then there's the, like, they're so shy. Like you were saying that you genuinely did not know because they're giving no signs. And I would say like, in that case, it's rare that you have feelings towards them.

[00:43:31] Because again, if you both have feelings is kind of reciprocated you're in that middle camp. But if you're asking yourself the question of. Do they like me? I feel like you're probably in the middle camp and you're either will be able to tell, or you're not like, is their eye contact, are they smiling?

[00:43:45] Are you joking around a lot? Are you trying to spend time together, et cetera? Flirting, I think similar things like eye contact, joking around laughing, spending time with them drama. If there's drama. Go the other way would be my advice. Like in the short term, it probably, you're probably like, no, like I like this person.

[00:44:04] I care about them. Like, we want to figure this out. This is so important to our relationship, but like in the long-term like 10 years from now, you can be like, I'm so glad that I dealt with this person that created so much stress in my life. Probably not. Oh. So

[00:44:19] Carmen: I feel like another thing too, is that if you're having to choose between.

[00:44:24] Someone romantically and then also a friend. Yeah. Pick your friends because your friend is going to be there a lot longer than some random guy or some random girl, even if it feels like, oh my God, I liked them so much. Like sometimes. You don't want to lose a friend just because you did something stupid and it's honestly, you need to think of like, do I value this friendship more?

[00:44:50] Or do I just want to get with this person? Exactly deciding your values

[00:44:56] Sadie: and hopefully your friends will like, be honest with you in that situation. And they'll be like this. Like, it totally seems like you're throwing herself at this guy 110% and like letting go of like all your relationships and everything else, like what is going on here.

[00:45:10] And they'll also be like, we're here for you. Whenever this train wreck is complete. But again, especially like we were talking about entering high school, entering college, when you haven't formed those relationships, I would all the time, like lean towards the friendship, maintaining those, improving those, because that's what will be there for you in the long-term for sure.

[00:45:31] Our last question is how to be and stay happy. It's a big one. Everyone wants to know. Huh? That,

[00:45:39] Carmen: that is a big question. Yeah. I don't know. I think there are always going to be times when obviously you're not happy and I think that's normal. If you're someone who's like, everything's fine. Everything's great.

[00:45:53] All the time. Maybe there is concern for you, something wrong. Yeah. Because you should feel comfortable and be able to like feel everything. If someone does something upsetting, you're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be frustrated. You don't have to pretend like everything is fine. All the time, but I think something that does make me happier at least is one not being on my phone all the time.

[00:46:19] Yeah. I feel like a mom saying that like

[00:46:22] Sadie: get off your phone, so true. Yeah. Because a lot of implementing that. Yeah.

[00:46:26] Carmen: It's easy to get stuck in like your phone world of like, oh my gosh, this guy like left me on delivered for 30 years. Oh, my God, my life is ruined. Everything sucks. Or you see girls posting and you're like, they look so good.

[00:46:42] I wish I looked like that. And just a lot of things can just be deteriorating to your mental health and just like how happy you feel. So I think it's good to put away your phone and then also spending time with people. You love your family pets. Friends. And I think both of those things are good. And then also realizing you don't have to be happy all the time, because if you're trying to be happy all the time, trying to feel like, oh, everything's fine.

[00:47:07] Everything's okay. You're never actually going to be okay. Or happy.

[00:47:12] Sadie: Yeah. No, I think that's so true. I think. Like the age old thing, happiness is a journey, not a destination. If we didn't have our lows, we would not realize that like our highs were our highest. So it's important to like sit in the discomfort of when you're not happy, because you will experience those moments of happiness so much more.

[00:47:32] I think there are basic things you can do. Increase how often you're happy, like staying on top of your routine, making sure you have healthy relationships, doing things that bring you joy, scheduling those things into your, into your life. Making those priorities continuing to work towards goals that are important to you, getting clear on what your priorities are and all of those things.

[00:47:51] We'll just. Increase the probability that you are happy and decrease the likelihood of being unhappy. But again, it's, it's a journey, not a destination. It's a little tiny moments every single day that you're accumulating. It's not like a constant destination that at some point you'll just reach and be happy forever.

[00:48:09] Because if that was the case, like life would be boring. Like w like it's just, wouldn't be interesting. And you wouldn't appreciate the happiness because there'd be nothing to compare it to. So, yeah, I think those are great tips. Last parting advice for teenagers, high school, college students that are listening.

[00:48:27] Carmen: Hmm. It's feels like a big thing.

[00:48:30] Sadie: I don't know. Like one thing that you wish you could have heard as a high school.

[00:48:41] Hmm.

[00:48:42] Carmen: Oh, gosh, I think I'll just go back to the first piece of advice that I said focus on yourself, do what you want. No one else cares. And I feel like once you realize that you'll be a happier person and you'll be. More excited about life, more satisfied with things that you're doing. And also have more stories to tell of being like, oh, I tried, I tried golf the other day.

[00:49:11] I suck or like, okay, that's fine, but it's fine. And just being willing to like put yourself out there and like do things that might make you uncomfortable. The most basic piece of advice, just like being yourself so important, like the hardest thing ever to do, but so important.

[00:49:32] Sadie: A hundred percent. Well, thank you so much.

[00:49:35] Where can listeners listen to your podcast? Follow you on social media, all of that. So

[00:49:40] Carmen: you can follow me on Instagram, Tik, TOK, Pinterest. At the girly-girl podcast, you can listen on any podcast streaming platform like Spotify, apple podcasts, or YouTube just by searching the girly

[00:49:55] Sadie: girl podcasts. Awesome.

[00:49:57] Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of she persisted. If you enjoyed, make sure to share with a friend or family member, it really helps out the podcast. And if you haven't already leave a review on apple podcasts or Spotify, you can also make sure to follow along at actually persisted podcast on both Instagram and Tik TOK, and check out all the bonus resources, content and information on my website.

[00:50:18] She persisted podcast.com. Thanks for supporting. Keep persisting and I'll see you next week.

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