123. Q+A: Staying Healthy in College, Eating Habits, Starting Therapy, & More!
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In today's solo episode I am answering a bunch of your questions! I share my tips on managing disordered eating habits, how to talk to your parents about starting therapy (using DBT skills), how to maintain your mental health in college and during daylight savings, my latest traveling and reading recommendations, advice on starting intensive care, and how to help a friend who doesn't want to be helped.
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About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)
After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.
a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!
[00:00:00] Sadie: For most people, as you transition to college, you don't already have a friend routine, whereas in high school and middle school, you've known these people for a while or you're forced to interact in smaller groups.
[00:00:09] In college, your class size is a thousand, 2000 people, maybe even more. And so you're not gonna have the same people in every single class and. It's on you to cultivate those relationships and create those connections. Because with humans, we need community. It's wired into us from an evolutionary perspective.
[00:00:25] So when we don't have that, our mental health struggles
[00:00:28] Hello. Hello and welcome back to She Persisted. I'm so excited you're here today. Today's episode is a solo episode. I'm answering all of your questions. We're actually gonna take seven of this solo episode. I have been having the tech issues from hell this week, and literally, no matter what I do, the tech gods are just like, Not, not happy with she persisted this week.
[00:00:49] So take seven. The answer to these questions better be phenomenal because I've recorded this episode all the way through probably like two or three times at this point. So let's do this. Question one, did you ever circle with an eating disorder? What was your experience with that? Like? Is there a full episode that I can listen to?
[00:01:06] So the first thing worth mentioning here is that I just recorded an episode with Dr. Sam Decar from the Renfru Center, which is an eating disorder treatment program actually in Pennsylvania. And we talked all about navigating an eating disorder. We talked about eating disorder treatment. What role of family plays in maintaining and developing eating disorder.
[00:01:25] We talked about supporting someone struggl. Myths about eating disorder treatment. So many different things, and it's really just a super in depth comprehensive conversation about eating disorders from an expert perspective. And so I'm really excited to release that episode. I've never done a comprehensive episode on that topic before, so that is coming in 2023.
[00:01:47] But until that comes out, I have four interviews to direct you towards, if you will. One is episode 1 21 with Mary's Cup of Tea. We talk all about Mary's journey in the body building community and how she recovered from an eating disorder. We talk about body image and confidence and self-esteem and curating your social media feed to help with self-esteem.
[00:02:07] And just an amazing lesson. We talk a lot also about journaling and how that can help with confidence and self-esteem. Another amazing episode is 88 with Bailey Stan Worth, where we talk about her journey with body image and eating disorder. We also talk about social media and being vulnerable in social media and how that can impact mental health and body image.
[00:02:26] Number 74 with Sophie Gray is another amazing conversation about body image and eating disorders. Sophie was in the fitness influencer space before recovering from an eating disorder, and so we talk a lot about what that was like and mental health in general. And then 73 is with Victoria Garrick now Victoria Brown, and we talk a lot about binge eating and intuitive eating also in the context of being a student athlete.
[00:02:48] So that's another really interesting conversation, especially if you're curious about intuitive eating. I highly recommend giving that one a listen.
[00:02:55] with regards to my own experience with eating disorders, when I think back to when I really was in treatment really at rock bottom, what gave me the most distress and struggle and suffering, if you will, was really depression. That was the core issue I was struggling with. And secondarily, other behaviors popped up, whether it was unhealthy relationships or self-harm or suicidal ideation.
[00:03:17] But what was really causing the most distress in my life was that depression and belief systems associated with that. That being said, I have struggled with body image and self-esteem for a while. I remember being really aware of what my body looked like compared to my peers, even at a really young age, and that body dysmorphia of thinking that I was heavier or larger than my peers and looking back at photos and being like, wait, that's not, that wasn't the case at all.
[00:03:42] And. I think many people can relate to that sentiment and that experience, and it's something that I am continuously working on and trying to improve. I think it's a very common experience in college as well, being more aware of your body and body image. But what I did wanna share was two different things that were really helpful to me during my time in intensive treatment when I was focusing on healing those disordered eating behaviors.
[00:04:10] So the first was having a meal plan, and I know you're like, isn't that the opposite of what you would want to do, plan your meals? Because a lot of the time, excessive planning or control around what you're eating is a symptom of eating disorders. But for. A lot of unhealthy behaviors came when I didn't really have a plan for what I was going to eat, and it was kind of just left up to question, and I would either not eat or I would binge or I would wait to eat and then I would binge because I was so hungry.
[00:04:39] Things like that. And so what was really helpful was sitting down with the dietician while I was at Three East and we mapped out three breakfasts that I liked and were nutritious. Three lunches that I liked that were nutritious. Three dinners that were good options and snacks. And then every single time it was mealtime, I had these three options that I enjoyed and looked forward to and were always available in the kitchen.
[00:05:02] And I would just pull from those three options that allowed me to get my meals in. It allowed me to get my nutrients in. So it kind of helped curb that binge eating behavior and also take the anxiety out of deciding what to eat. And that's something I still utilize, especially in college, knowing what my breakfast options are, knowing what places I like to go to for lunch, what is helpful for dinner.
[00:05:23] And that helps with waiting to eat or restricting or then binging because I haven't gotten all my meals. And if that makes sense.
[00:05:29] Another thing that was really helpful in early recovery when I was kind of healing my hunger cues and getting back to being hungry at meal times was snacks whenever I was hungry throughout the day. Honoring that eating snacks was really helpful and healing those eating cues. And then exercise, I feel like I kind of went from one end of the spectrum where I was over exercising then, in covid, really not exercising at all. Now I'm in more of a balanced place with that. But approaching that from the perspective of this will be helpful for me to sleep or this will be helpful for.
[00:06:00] My physical health and not focusing as much about how it's gonna impact my body image or what I look like. And using that as a mental health outlet has been helpful to kind of reframe that relationship, if you will. So, couple little tips there. If you are struggling with disordered eating, definitely talk to a professional.
[00:06:17] Eating disorders are one of the deadliest mental illnesses, and they're very serious because they do have physical health implications. So definitely talk to a therapist, talk to a psychiatrist, talk to a pediatrician, get support, and yeah, recovery is very possible. There are treatments that work, there are treatments that are effective.
[00:06:35] And especially with eating disorders, it's really important to have a comprehensive team of a nutritionist or a dietitian and a therapist and a psychiatrist, and having your family on board to support you. So, especially in that realm, having a team behind you is essential. The second question is, can therapy benefit people who aren't dealing with serious mental health struggles? If so, how can I ask my parents to help me find a therapist if I don't have severe depression or anxiety?
[00:07:01] Short answer is absolutely, I think therapy has so many implications in life beyond your mental health. When you are in therapy, you are learning how to more effectively cope with your emotions and navigate challenges and be more resilient and be more effective in your relationships. If we just think about the relationship standpoint, you could be a more.
[00:07:21] friend and family member and be able to set boundaries at work or advocate to a teacher or a parent or a boss, there are so many skills that you learn that transfer to real life challenges. Another thing that you learn in therapy that is endlessly helpful, is validation. Validation is crucial in every single relationship, and lots of the things that you learn in therapy are beneficial for anyone regardless of if you have a diagnosis or not.
[00:07:48] I also really like to think of things like depression and anxiety as being on a spectrum. So if we think of depression as a very overwhelming, extreme intense version of sadness and anxiety is a very overwhelming, intense version of fear. We think about what those emotions tell us to do.
[00:08:04] For sadness, it's withdraw and avoid and disconnect and sit in the emotion. With anxiety, it's to run away from whatever is scaring us and a void and anxiety and depression of similar elements. With depression, we withdraw and stop doing things we enjoy and disconnect from others. And with anxiety, we avoid the things that make us anxious or we ruminate about them.
[00:08:23] So the skills that are working for these really clinical challenges, whether it's severe depression, severe anxiety, if those interventions are effective in that level of crisis, imagine how effective they can be with day to day emotions. And there is the caveat there of distraction is a really effective skill for things like anxiety.
[00:08:41] But if we use distraction 24 7, whenever we got slightly anxious, it would really lose its effectiveness. We would never deal with the real root issue. The anxiety would just build and build and build and eventually become overwhelming. So certain skills are not as effective to use on a daily basis, but in general, mental health skills can be used with smaller non-crisis challenges as well, as clinical interventions.
[00:09:05] The short answer there is I think that therapy can be so effective with supporting anyone's mental health, whether they have a diagnosis or not. And for me, since I've left treatment and since I've no longer actively been displaying symptoms or behaviors of depression or anxiety, I still have utilized therapy as a resource to help me with relationships with family and friends and navigating stress and staying on top of schoolwork and being more effective in my routines and sleep and all of these things that are really important for us to function, but wouldn't necessarily be defined as like, oh, I'm in therapy for depression, or I'm in therapy for anxiety.
[00:09:40] So with regards to asking your parents to help you find a therapist or to start therapy, I would use something from D B T or Dialectal Behavioral Therapy called Dear Man, and this is an acronym that stands for describe express, assert, reinforce, be mindful, a peer Confident, and Negotiate.
[00:09:58] And this is the skill that you use in interpersonal interactions when you have an objective to be met. So when you want something to get done, the other skills target the relationship. So you go into the interaction with the goal of improving the relationship, or you go into the interaction with the objective of.
[00:10:15] Improving your self respect and maybe you're in a relationship where you like, I do wanna have my self respect and I wanna improve the relationship and I have this objective met. You can balance these things, but it's really helpful if you can identify which one is the most important, and then primarily use that skill.
[00:10:29] So for this situation of asking your parents for a therapist, if we walk through the deer man, we start with describe, and so the describe part of the scale, we are talking objectively about the facts of the situation. here I would give any context that's applicable. Like, as you know, my workload has been a lot more intense this year with school, or as you know, I have kind of shifted friend groups Or other external facts that would be helpful. Like therapy is a really effective way to maintain and improve mental health and become more effective in relationships and routines and all these other things. You could also bring up, , teens are the most at risk demographic for developing mental illnesses.
[00:11:06] And most mental illnesses develop when you are a teen. And so it can be really effective to use preventative mental health measures and get good at coping with your mental health as a teen. So with those objective facts laid out, we then move into the express, and this is where you add the emotions and you say, I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately.
[00:11:24] I've been feeling like I don't have anyone to talk to. I've been feeling really sad. I've been feeling really anxious. Whatever it is that you've been experiencing, this is where you lay out those emotions. And again, it doesn't have to be like, oh, I've been depress or I've been anxious. It could be like, I've been feeling more overwhelmed, I've been feeling more isolated.
[00:11:40] I've been feeling more sad. And that is a totally valid reason to pursue support. So that's where you add the express. And I have found the more vulnerable you are in the express, the more effective the skill will be because you're really allowing people to understand why this is important and why you want this thing, which in this case is therapy.
[00:12:00] So the next part of the dear man is the assert. A good assert can be answered with a yes or a no. It's not like, oh, maybe you're like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yes or no. And so you wanna phrase the question that way. So I would say, is it possible to start meeting with a therapist? And you could even put a timeline on there.
[00:12:16] You could be like, is it possible to start meeting with a therapist in the new year or can I start researching therapist to work with this week? So I would just say like, can I start meeting with a therapist and keep it really simple?
[00:12:26] so the R is reinforced. This is when you tell your parents what is in it for them, why would they want to get you into therapy? What is the benefit for. So what you're gonna do is you're gonna say things like, I think that f I was in therapy.
[00:12:39] I would be able to be more vulnerable and learn the skills to talk to you guys when I'm not doing very well. Or you could say, I'm hoping that in therapy as I learn the skills to cope with what I'm experiencing, I'll feel less overwhelmed and I'll be able to engage more in the family. Or I know that you guys have really been telling me to clean my room or stay on top of chores and that's been difficult because of my mental health.
[00:13:01] But I'm hoping that with therapy I'll be able to more effectively cope with my mental health and then be able to contribute more to chores and my cleaning my room and the family in general.
[00:13:10] Now, moving into the man part of the dear man scale. The M is for being mindful. So you are paying attention to the other person's body language. How are they responding to what you're saying? You are in the moment, you are present. You're not lost in your own thoughts or not paying attention like you are staying in this moment in this conversation, the A is appearing confident.
[00:13:29] So you've prepared for this conversation, you know what you're going to say, and then you are going to come into this conversation making eye contact and saying everything that you've practiced and prepared and not staring at the ground or mumbling. You are confident with your request. And then the end is negotiate.
[00:13:45] And so what I would do is when you do your assert, I would say, Can I talk to you about this next week? I don't need an answer right now, but I wanted to bring this up and then give you a little bit of time to think about it. And then when you go back next week, if your parents are like, oh, we're not really sure, kind of on the fence or we're not sure if this is important, this is where you employ that negotiate skill. , so with negotiate, when you follow up on that conversation, if they're like, we're on the fence, we're not really sure, this is kind of when you compromise and the way that I would quote unquote compromise in this situation is say, I totally understand why you would be apprehensive about this.
[00:14:21] This is a big step. How would you feel about me talking with my pediatrician or a school counselor or the school therapist and seeing if they think this is a good stop to take? Or how would you feel about me doing a consult session with a therapist and seeing if they think that this is something that would be helpful?
[00:14:38] Or what about meeting every other week instead of every week with a therapist and kind of meeting them in the middle, making some concessions, but still trying to get your objective met. And then you kind of go back and forth and see where you end up with these things. But that's the dear man. That's exactly how it approached that conversation with my parents.
[00:14:55] I have done many, a dear man with my parents. They love when I use a deer man and it's very effective, highly recommend. And I found that parents are really impressed when you come to a conversation prepared with exactly what you're asking for and and what you wanna say and, and having that vulnerability.
[00:15:13] The third question is, how has your mental health changed since going to college?
[00:15:17] You know, this is a really interesting question and one that I get asked a lot because it is such a shift from high school, and I think a lot of teenagers and really adults experience a bit of a dip in their mental health when they go to college. It's something I've heard from a lot of friends and it was reflected in research of mental health and college students.
[00:15:35] And so for me, I felt like I was in a unique position because going into college already lived alone, alone ish, like not with my family. I had been in intensive treatment for a year and a half. I already was pretty independent. So there was less anxiety about going out into world on my own and no longer being at home.
[00:15:52] And I also had so many skills in my toolbox from therapy. And so the biggest differences that I've noticed between high school and college is that in high school, a lot of the things that maintain and improve your mental health are built into your schedule, or are required or already being implemented in college.
[00:16:10] It's really up to you to create those structures within your routine. So in high school, there are so many pillars that are being optimized for, whether it's physical health, whether it's community, whether it's a sense of purpose, a schedule, keeping busy, sleep, and to give you a little bit more clarity there.
[00:16:30] When we think about exercise, we know exercise is great for mental health. In high school, you probably are already being forced to do a PE class. Maybe you're on a sports team, so you're practicing a couple times a week. The community aspect is absolutely built for, you are in classes all day, every day with a similar group of people.
[00:16:46] You're probably eating lunch with your friends, maybe if you're in the clubs or teens, you're meeting with them on a regular basis. With regards to diet and nutrition, you probably are eating breakfast and dinner at home. Maybe you're eating with your family. So you have those two meals already maintained.
[00:17:01] You're probably eating lunch with your friends if that's a third meal there. Another thing that's huge for mental health is that sense of purpose and commitment and having a routine and a schedule and somewhere to show up to. You're in school from eight to three every single day. So you have that commitment, you have that thing you have to show up to.
[00:17:16] You have that purpose like, I'm a student, this is what I do with my life. And in college, things are different. , while you do have classes to show up to, they're much fewer and far between. You have a lot more free time and things like exercise, unless you're a student athlete, aren't built into your schedule, that's on you to create that habit.
[00:17:37] Meals are also not something that's happening. If you have a break between classes, no one's gonna be like, okay, now we all go to the cafeteria and eat lunch for an hour. You gotta figure out where you're gonna get food. Same thing for breakfast and dinner community as well. For most people, as you transition to college, you don't already have a friend routine, whereas in high school and middle school, unless you've moved around, you've known these people for a while or you're forced to interact in smaller groups.
[00:18:01] In college, your class size is a thousand, 2000 people, maybe even more. And so you're not gonna have the same people in every single class and. It's on you to cultivate those relationships and create those connections. Because with humans, we need community. It's wired into us from an evolutionary perspective.
[00:18:17] So when we don't have that, our mental health struggles, and so it's not impossible to have good mental health in college. And I found that my mental health has gotten better since I've been in college. I just think there's something about the independence and I can optimize my routine for my sleep.
[00:18:32] And I have all my meals that I enjoy and I see my friends and I'm able to pursue these things that I'm really passionate about, whether it's the podcast or social media marketing or classes. And you're able to really narrow in on those passions academically. So for me, psychology, I get to fill my classes and my schedule with psychology classes, which I love.
[00:18:51] And so, It's very possible and realistic to have good mental health in college. You just have to be intentional and you have to be really aware of what is not put in place and create those structures so that your mental health is maintained. You can kind of go into autopilot and live your life and not have to be worried at every single decision is as good for my mental health.
[00:19:11] Am I going to struggle because of this habit that I'm engaging in?
[00:19:16] and then I think another big thing to add here that comes to mind, I've been talking a lot with my friends about navigating stress with school and academic pressure, and I think. While there is a lot of academic pressure in high school, especially as you get closer to college applications and s a T scores and all these things, it can also be really overwhelming to be surrounded by really high achieving students.
[00:19:39] Like at Penn, there are so many people here that are so talented and intelligent and amazing at what they're doing. And so I know I'm not gonna be the smartest one in the classroom, and I know that I'm not gonna get the best grade in the 300 person class on the exam. And so it takes a minute to kind of adjust to that and having some radical acceptance around the fact that grades don't determine your worth, and it's, it's a piece of you.
[00:20:03] It's not defining of you. And I think that's another shift that comes with college. And it's been really helpful in my mental health to kind of have that boundary almost with my school performance and then my self-esteem and how I view myself, and especially in relation to my peers.
[00:20:19] you guys know I am a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania, which means that I am constantly studying and preparing for tests and doing readings and all of the things, and it takes a lot of focus and requires me to be as effective and productive as possible so I can also do the things I love, like the podcast and work and all of these other things that also take attention.
[00:20:38] And I feel like I have added the perfect tack to my morning routine, and that is Magic Mind. You might have heard me talk about them before. I love it, especially for days when I have a lot of classes or I have an exam coming up or it's midterm season because rather than drinking multiple cups of coffee and feeling all anxious and shaky from the caffeine, I can add a shot of magic mind.
[00:20:58] With my coffee. I drink it at the same time and I get all the benefits of focus and productivity without any of the anxiety or caffeine crash. There's a ton of amazing ingredients in it. My favorite is Maia. I've never been able to get myself into Maia. I wish I could. I just can't get over the taste, and that's why I love Magic Mind because you can take it just like a juice shot and you can still drink your normal cup of coffee, but you get the benefits of Maia, so less caffeine.
[00:21:24] It's better absorbed by your body. It has health you for stress. And so many other ingredients in this blend like Ashwaganda, which helps reduce stress and anxiety. So if you also would like to be more productive, more focused, and get the most out of your time so you can spend the rest of your time investing in things that make you feel good, you can go to Magic mind.co/she persisted.
[00:21:47] Again, that is magic mind.co/sheets resisted and get 40% off your subscription. 40%. That's insane. So use code. She persisted for 40% off for the next 10 days.
[00:22:01] The fourth question is, how does daylight savings affect mental health or winter, and what is seasonal effectiveness disorder or sad?
[00:22:09] So we just went through daylight savings. I honestly wasn't paying attention at all. I know it's getting. Darker earlier, so it's probably getting lighter earlier, like I'm really not paying attention, but we're losing an hour of sunlight and we know that when you have less vitamin D from sunlight, you can develop more depressive like symptoms.
[00:22:28] We also know that people with depression are more likely to have vitamin D deficiencies. So before we get into the seasonal effectiveness disorder portion of this, the way that I would approach daylight savings is just being aware that you have an added vulnerability to your mental health. You might be a little bit more at risk for being more depressed or being a little bit more sad.
[00:22:47] So what can you do to counteract that? Are you gonna spend more time with friends? Are you going to engage with more content that improves your mood? Are you going to make sure that you were 100% hitting your sleep goal? Are you going to, engage in a new passion project to build some mastery and accumulate positives?
[00:23:03] Whatever it is, just be aware that you have an added vulnerability. Similarly, if you're like, I have a big exam coming up and I know that I'm gonna get a little bit less sleep this night and I'm probably gonna be more emotionally vulnerable and my mental health might be a little bit worse.
[00:23:16] What can I do to counteract that and make sure that I am getting back on my sleep schedule and maintaining my mental health in other ways. So that's how I would approach that. And then with regards to seasonal effectiveness disorder, seasonal effectiveness disorder is a type of depression where it's very seasonal.
[00:23:32] You experience depressive like symptoms typically in fall, winter when there's less daylight, and then your mood tends to be better in the spring and summer. And so again, if this is a vulnerability or something that you're experiencing, what can you do to set yourself up for success?
[00:23:46] How can you make sure that all the other pillars of your mental health are being maintained? How are you engaging in your relationships and exercise and nutrition and belief systems and all these other things that also impact your mental health? And then if it does, get to the point where you notice that it's impacting your commitments and your mood in general, working with a professional.
[00:24:06] So a therapist, a psychiatrist, starting with your pediatrician, talking to them, and getting more support. The fifth question is, what are some recommended readings? I'm gonna give you four of my favorites. The first one you guys have heard me talk about so many different times. I just in episode about mental health habits, where I talked about this a ton, but the book is Atomic Habits and it's all about breaking bad habits and building good habits. And I love thinking about urges and thoughts and belief systems as habits as well is cues and responses.
[00:24:37] So if you're feeling sad, how do you respond? If you're feeling anxious, how do you respond? If you have the urge to withdraw, how do you respond? And really building that habit over. So Atomic Habits by James Clear is an amazing book. I love it because it talks all about the research and evidence behind habit building, but there are tons of amazing anecdotes.
[00:24:55] It's an interesting read and it's relevant to anyone and everyone because we all need some form of habits to be able to function and thrive in life. So it's not necessarily mental health related, but it has lots of mental health applications.
[00:25:08] The next book, I'm doing these in order of like least to most mental healthy. The next book is Big Feelings by Liz Fossen and Molly West Duffy. They're also the authors of No Hard Feelings. They came on the podcast. I'll link it in the show notes, but this is an amazing book, talking all about the emotions that most people find really challenging to navigate.
[00:25:28] So they break down. Uncertainty, comparison, anger, burnout, perfectionism, despair, and regret. They talk about what makes these emotions so challenging to work through, to navigate, to experience and how to really process through them and get to the other side of that emotional cycle, if you will.
[00:25:44] Absolutely love it. And Liz is an extremely talented illustrator. I'm certain you've probably seen one of her graphics somewhere on Instagram, and so there's tons of really fun illustrations in this book to really just hit home these themes and ideas. The next book is Lost Connections by Johan Hari. This is all about depression. He touches on anxiety as well, but it's all about the environmental and social causes of depression and anxiety, how those can lead to depression, and then also how they can counteract depression and improve mental health. He talks a lot about his own experiences.
[00:26:17] He talks about the evidence, supporting antidepressants and medication for depression, and then as well the environmental causes. So things like community, having a sense of purpose, exercise, so he talks about all of those different roles that things play, like meaningful work, disconnection from other people, values, childhood trauma status, the natural world being in nature, having a hopeful or secure future, and how genes and brain changes play a role in depression.
[00:26:46] So very evidence based, lots of anecdotes, but definitely more educational, but an amazing perspective and very illuminating. Conversation about depression and anxiety.
[00:26:58] The last book is Building a Life Worth Living by Marsha Linnehan. I read this this summer over break, and you guys probably heard me talk about it then, but it's one of my favorite books that I've ever read. It's her memoir. She talks about going from being hospitalized as a 19 year old, so my age to developing dialectical behavioral therapy and how passionate and driven she was to.
[00:27:20] She describes it, bring people out of the depths of how and provide them with an evidence based solution and treatment for severe depression and borderline personality disorder and suicidality and all of these things. And she sprinkles in D B T education throughout and it's just a very inspiring story.
[00:27:38] And found D B T so helpful and seeing those little parallels and just being able to hear about all the work she did in her personal life that also coincided with the development of D B T was really cool. So highly recommend if you are a DB T nerd like me.
[00:27:52] The next question is, when you travel, what is in your carryon? Must have travel essentials for self care, skincare, entertainment, et cetera. I love this random ama. I'm breaking these more deep questions up a little bit. I'll definitely do a little TikTok real. I'm actually going out of town before this episode goes live, so when you're listening to this, I'm actually in Dubai for Thanksgiving, which is gonna be so fun.
[00:28:14] I'm very excited, but I'm big travel packing a fishing ina, if you will. I think I am very effective at packing. I like to think of myself as a speed demon, getting Bricky airport. I love traveling by myself because I can just go from point A to point B. I don't have to wait for anyone. I'm like, okay, to the gate.
[00:28:31] There I go. I'll get a snack like I am on a. , but what is my carry on? I always have my laptop. I bring a lot of electronics. I have my laptop, my iPad, I have my phone, I have my Kindle, I have my AirPods, I have my headphones, I have all of my chargers that I might need, and then I normally have at least one book.
[00:28:49] I've been known to travel with three to four at times, and plus the Kindle just in case I run out of something to read. You don't wanna be caught without something to do. I like to bring my bullet journal with me. You guys know I'm big on tracking habits and especially if it's around school time, just being able to have an eye on what deadlines are coming up is super helpful.
[00:29:07] So bring my bullet journal. I bring my giant pencil case with all my pens and pencil. I always have a sweatshirt, but I typically am like a legging sweatshirt, sneakers kind of girl in the airport. And then with regards to entertainment, I recently did an Instagram stories where I gave you guys all of my recommendations.
[00:29:23] I watch a lot of tv, like a lot, and so I can give you some high quality recommendations because I screened so many shows and I can tell you what's actually worth your time.
[00:29:32] So my top five shows that I've ever watched of all time is The Office, big Bang Theory, Handmaid's Tale, snl and Normal People. I feel like a good selection there, but those are the shows that I always go back to. I've seen multiple times, I love them. They're my favorites. But if you are looking for more of a one time watch, great mini series.
[00:29:52] Here are the recommendations.
[00:29:54] the first one is Dope Sick. This is about the opioid crisis. It talks all about the Sackler family and the development of Oxycontin in the marketing and how it affected all of these small towns and in mining country. And it's just really interesting. It's phenomenal. It's on Hulu.
[00:30:08] My parents stayed up till 3:00 AM bing this show and they do not binge any TV shows. They watch a lot of TV like me, but they don't stay up late watching tv. So when they binge a show you know, it's good. And this is one of those. I also stayed up till 3:00 AM watching it separately and it's amazing.
[00:30:25] The next one is the thing about Pam on Hulu. This is kind of a crime docu-series. It's not one where they go back and show police tapes or interviews. It's a live reenactment. I don't know what you call that, but it's phenomenal. The actors are amazing. The actors look so much like the original people.
[00:30:43] It's based on a true story short series. I got my grandmother hooked. I've gotten my friends hooked. Highly recommend. Another one similar to that is the dropout, especially this week with all of the news coming out about FTX and cryptocurrency. I'm waiting for the equivalent of the dropout, but about that company to come out.
[00:31:00] But the dropout is great. It's about Elizabeth Holmes and her developing her company, scamming everyone, the process that happened, how she convinced CVS and all of, Silicon Valley to invest in this company when they didn't have anything to back up these claims. It's very, very interesting. Highly recommend amend. Another great documentary is Keep Sweet, pre and Obey.
[00:31:21] This is a docu-series. This is not a live action remake. This one, they interview people and they show news clips, but it's a crazy story. About fundamentalist Mormon in Utah and they practice plural, marriage and polygamy, and it's a cult. It's insane. Very interesting.
[00:31:36] I think it's four parts. Shocking ending, highly recommend. That's on Netflix. The Rescue is a documentary movie. It talks about the rescue of 12 boys and their coach. They were a soccer team that got trapped in a cave that then flooded in Thailand and they had these insane, not even professional, but hobbyist cave divers rescue these boys. It's a true story. It's all footage from when this actually happened.
[00:32:01] They recreated some scenes. Insane story. It's one of those documentaries that sticks with you for months after you see it.
[00:32:07] And the last one is American Murder. Abducted in Plain Sight. This is a movie on Netflix, another one where it's like a crime series. They show the police tapes and footage. Shocking twist. Very good. Good movie, night Watch, highly recommend. Those are my recommendations for your next flight.
[00:32:25] I'm finishing up the Crown season five right now, and then I think I'm gonna watch, tell Me Lies on Hulu. I think that's what it's called. So those are my planned entertainment for the Dubai trip, but I will report back on my thoughts on those shows.
[00:32:39] the next question is, do they let you have your phone in intensive treatment? This is hard to give an answer to because every program is different and they all have very set rules and standards about how having a phone works. But to give you some examples of my experience, when I was hospitalized, they gave you access to a landline.
[00:32:58] And as long as you had the phone number, you could call whoever you want to. When I was in residential, they also had a landline. You had a list of approved phone numbers, so you, your therapist, your parents would work together to come up with a list of good family members, friends, individuals that would be supportive and healthy and recovery, and you could call them whenever you wanted to.
[00:33:16] And then in therapeutic boarding school, this is less typical, but you didn't have your phone until almost the end of the program. And then you would be able to call your family for social calls like once a week and then also do family therapy.
[00:33:29] But that is less typical. They will tell you the first day, it's a completely valid, normal question to ask. They'll explain it to you, and most of the time, therapists will work with you and be open to being flexible. As long as there's a good reason for it. And most of these programs are goal is to integrate you back into your environment and your life effectively.
[00:33:48] And part of that is having a phone and using your phone effectively. And so most of them build that into the structure of the program. The next question is very similar, which is, I'm going to intensive treatment this week in France and I would love to have any advice, so many things. The first is that I'm sure you're really anxious and you don't know what to expect and you're nervous.
[00:34:06] And I remember being in the exact same position. I just remember being like, I don't know what my room's gonna look like. What does my day to day look like? Just even knowing what the therapy office would look like, I felt like would've been helpful with my anxiety. But there's just so much unknown, you're just going to an unknown place for an unknown period of time to do mental health work.
[00:34:25] And that can be really daunting. I think there are a couple things that are helpful to be reminded of, which is that you have so many individuals that want to help you and that are there to support you, and you're just gonna be enveloped in a community that just wants to see you grow and improve and be supported and feel better, which is a really amazing and beautiful opportunity.
[00:34:44] It's not very often in life you go into an environment or a situation and everyone's just there to help you. They just wanna see you happy. And so that's one of the great things about intensive treatment. . So I think going in, knowing that and trusting that these people wanna see you get better and so that you can be vulnerable and ask for help when you need it.
[00:35:02] That was something that took me a little bit once I got to intensive treatment to accept and get over the hump of. But if you can go into treatment being like, these people are here to support me and I trust them to support me, and I am ready to be vulnerable with them, that is a great first step to get out of the way.
[00:35:18] And then I would also just give yourself so much grace because it's gonna be challenging. It's going to be. Hard mental health work is never easy and you're gonna be rewiring belief systems and behaviors and asking for help and experiencing intense emotions and that's difficult. So give yourself so much grace, take so much time to self care and recharge and relax when you need it and watch good TV shows and read good books, and do all these things to care for yourself in addition to doing the work.
[00:35:47] But just know that you're gonna have so many people in your corner and even though it's probably a position that you wanted to be in, it's going to be a position that hopefully will be really helpful for you. And I'm rooting for you. The she resisted a community is rooting for you and I hope it is so helpful and it was so helpful for me.
[00:36:05] And so I hope you have the same experience. Last question. How to help someone that doesn't want help and thinks nothing will work. This was me pre-treatment. I was convinced that I was never going to live a life where I wasn't depressed. I was never gonna be happy. I was never gonna have a life worth living.
[00:36:22] And it's very hard to shift that belief. And so from a professional standpoint, there's different things I'm sure you do to try and increase a sense of hope and try and increase a sense of willingness. From a friend's perspective, I would really just say be there for them.
[00:36:37] Be a person that is a light in their life that makes them laugh and is there to support them and is in their corner and they know that no matter what they can spend time with and know that they will leave that situation and environment feeling better. And that was something that I was so grateful for my friends, for doing, for just being an outlet for me to lean on, for support and to have real, authentic relationships and boost my mood , and be supported. As a parent, it's definitely more challenging. I think you can kind of approach it from a more behavioral standpoint because it's difficult to tell anyone. You have to be happy. This is the expectation. You can't be, like, the expectation in this household is that you're happy. But maybe approaching it from more like, I care so much about you and I know that you are not feeling your best right now and that makes me really sad.
[00:37:23] Or being like, we would love to see you get to the point where you're participating more in school or you are have a more stable sleep schedule or you're more engaged in your relationships. And these are some resources that we can use to get there. But I do think that professional support can be a huge factor, in getting someone to have that hope and that willingness because they are the experts.
[00:37:42] They know what's best. And having people share with me when I was struggling that they had been there too or they had struggled with depression. A lot of the times it's people that you had never realized, you would never guess that they had been depressed or anxious or spent time in treatment. But when they came up to me and were like, I know you're in a rough season right now.
[00:38:00] And I was there when I was a teen and I struggled a lot, and it's okay. It gets better. And I was able to get support and I know it will get better and I'm always here if you need anything that was so rewarding and reinforcing and really a reminder that was very wonderful to hear when I was struggling.
[00:38:19] So I hope those help. Thank you guys for submitting questions. I hope that the topics you guys wanted to hear about were covered in this episode and some pieces of the device were helpful, as always, is a link on the She Persisted website to submit questions for future episodes.
[00:38:33] And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to leave a review share with a friend or family member post about on social media, and I'll give you a shout out. You can also follow on social media. I'm really on my social media game recently at She Resisted podcast on Instagram and TikTok. But thank you for listening.
[00:38:50] I'll see you next Tuesday and have a great week.
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