126. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TOOLKIT for the Holiday Season (Navigating Finals Stress, Family Relationships, Seasonal Depression, + Body Image)

 
 

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Today's solo episode is all about managing your mental health during the holidays! I answer your questions on continuing healthy habits over winter break, recharging and recovering from burnout over the holidays, navigating the stresses of studying for finals, managing fears of disappointing your parents, dealing with seasonal depression, and improving your body image and self-confidence during the holiday season.

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ McLean's Guide to Managing Mental Health Around the Holidays

SHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOC

Episode Sponsors

🛋This week's episode is sponsored by Teen Counseling. Teen Counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network offering support with depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and more via text, talk, and video counseling. Head to teencounseling.com/shepersisted to find a therapist today!


About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.



a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

[00:00:00] Sadie: Welcome to She Persisted. I'm your host, Sadie Sutton, a 19 year old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the University of Penn. She Persisted is the Teen Mental Health Podcast made for teenagers by a teen. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness.

[00:00:19] Sadie: You can expect evidence-based, teen approved resources, coping skills, including lots of D B T insights and education in. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted, Offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle, while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

[00:00:37] Sadie: So let's dive in this week on She persisted.

[00:00:42] Sadie: it's either a marathon or a sprint.

[00:00:44] Sadie: I know most of life we say it's a marathon, not a sprint. Final season is kind of a sprint and it's important to remember that you can't sprint for the whole semester. So if you're choosing this time is when I'm sprinting the semester is a marathon. College is a marathon. High school is a marathon, but this is the sprint.

[00:01:00] Sadie: You have to have an end date in sight. So you're like, I'm sprinting for these three. , this is when I'm cramming. This is when I have all my work piling up because all my teachers assign things, what date does that end? What date do you turn things off because you cannot sprint a marathon.

[00:01:16] Sadie: hello. Hello, and welcome back to She Persisted. I'm so excited you're here today. We are trying a new recording set up with the video, so if you're watching this on YouTube, hopefully this worked because we're having all the technical difficulties. But I'm so excited you're here because today we are doing a mental health.

[00:01:32] Sadie: Toolkit for the holiday season. Many, many people struggle with their mental health, especially over the holidays, especially during winter. And if that is you, you are not alone. The data shows that 38% of people feel more stressed during the holidays, and if you do struggle with a mental illness, 64% of people say that it feels worse around the holiday season.

[00:01:55] Sadie: It's definitely a common sentiment, so I am going to try and give you some skills, answer some questions you guys asked to hopefully help you feel more equipped and prepared and like you have a plan to go into the holiday season. And this is a D B T skill called coping Ahead.

[00:02:10] Sadie: So when we're coping ahead for difficult situations, we describe the situation. We check the facts to make sure that we're not being overly emotional or inaccurately describing things. We're talking about what emotions might potentially arise, and then we're deciding what coping skills we're going to use, how we can problem solve, being super specific.

[00:02:30] Sadie: And then you're gonna imagine yourself navigating that situation and. Practice coping with the emotions and the challenges that arises. So hopefully this episode will be one giant cope ahead is my goal.

[00:02:43] Sadie: So the first question that I got was, how do you deal with disappointing your parents? I got tattoos, I moved to the West coast and I'm changing my major. So when I think about this, especially in the context of parents, I think about shifting your validation from being external to internal.

[00:02:58] Sadie: And I feel like a lot of the times when we think about external validation, we talk about social media, we talk about likes, we talk about follows, we talk about these more, almost artificial forms of validation. But when I think about external validation, I also think about it in regards to my relationships. Anytime that I'm not self-validating, I consider that external validation. So if I'm looking for validation from my parents about how I've dealt with the situation or how I feel about something, or if they care about me.

[00:03:23] Sadie: That is external validation. And the thing about external validation is that A, you can't control for external validation. Your self-esteem and how you view yourself is now completely left up to how others treat you.

[00:03:35] Sadie: And because of that, it's a lot less stable. It's very difficult to maintain stable self-esteem and a stable view of yourself if you're relying on external validation. And in my own experience, when I was looking to my parents for validation, when I was struggling with depression and our relationship was.

[00:03:51] Sadie: Worse. And we were arguing more and we were disagreeing on more things and I blamed them for what I was experiencing. I started to develop the belief system that I wasn't deserving of their love and that I was never gonna be good enough for them. So I found that the more I look to my parents, and this goes for any relationships in your life, the less I was able to control and provide some stability of how I viewed myself. And I find this today as well, that when I am looking to form an opinion or a view of myself or a situation, or how I've navigated something and looking to others for cues on that, the outcome tends to be a lot worse, and I tend to feel a lot worse about myself. So, If I were you going into this situation with your parents, I would go in having a really fully well established view of yourself.

[00:04:41] Sadie: And it helps if you have other relationships in your life that support this view of yourself. So if you have friends that also see you as strong and. Making good decisions and empowered and motivated and, pursuing your goals. And so even if your parents don't agree with the decisions you've made, you agree with them, which is what is most important.

[00:05:00] Sadie: And you also know that like, I'm not the only one that thinks this. I have all these other relationships that also are backing me up that this is what is the right decision for me. so what I would do is I would get really clear on what those decisions mean to you. How does moving to the West Coast impact your sense of self? How does changing your major impact your sense of self? Get really clear and articulate why you made those decisions. Are you moving to the West Coast because you are pursuing a job or an education and it's.

[00:05:29] Sadie: Really important to you and it's aligned with what you want to do in life. So you're passionate and motivated and driven and living life aligned with your sense of purpose. Or if you want tattoos and they're a way that you are expressing yourself and you feel really confident and amazing and beautiful with them.

[00:05:47] Sadie: that is part of your sense of self. So even if you go into this interaction with your parents, I'm not gonna say that it's gonna be easy, but even if you go into this interaction and they're like, no, you shouldn't have moved and , why do you make that decision? That's not what we would've done. You know how these decisions relate to how you view yourself and you know that that's almost like the end all, be all opinion. Yes, they have an opinion also, and it might be different, but the opinion that matters most is yours. So you're gonna have a hierarchy of my opinion, my friends and other family members that are aligned with my views and My views on this subject.

[00:06:21] Sadie: And then lastly, your parents, if you feel like they're gonna disagree and be disappointed. This isn't to say only surround yourself with people that agree with you, but if this is something that you do feel very confident about and you feel like you are being yourself, and that if your parents disapprove, it's not because there's a genuine need for concern, but it's because they aren't supporting you.

[00:06:42] Sadie: Find other people to integrate into your circle that will be supportive. So that would be my, counsel to you, is to get really clear on your own self-worth, your own sense of self, how those decisions relate to that sense of self, and make it very clear in your mind that the opinion that matters most is yours.

[00:07:03] Sadie: And no matter what your parents say, it won't impact your self-worth because the only perception of you that will impact your self-worth is your own perception. And then to take that a step further with the self-validation piece, if your parents are like, why did you do that? You shouldn't have done that.

[00:07:19] Sadie: You then internally will give yourself a pep talk and be like, I made this decision because this is what's right for me, and I feel this is aligned and I'm pursuing my goals and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then also I would, in that situation, if you're worried about disappointing your parents, Say to myself, my parents don't love and care about me.

[00:07:34] Sadie: This might be something a little bit difficult to have a conversation about, but that doesn't mean that our relationship is completely destroyed or that they love me any less, et cetera. So that's how I would navigate that situation. I hope that helps. The next question is how to deal with test anxiety and stress around finals.

[00:07:51] Sadie: So I have done a little list just like I would do if I was navigating finals of how I'm navigating finals this year and how I would advise you to obviously do what works for you. But if you're like, I don't even know where to start. Here are some ideas. So first thing is to create a comprehensive list, and you've probably seen this on TikTok, but you wanna make a plan of everything that needs to be done during final season.

[00:08:12] Sadie: So every assignment, every test, everything you have to study for, make a list. And you can do this on Excel, you can do this on Google Sheets, you can do this on Notion. I like to do Anasana. I also like to have a physical to-do list because I love checking things off. make a list of everything that has to be done because I find that I get the most overwhelmed when there's no end in sight and I don't know what needs to be done, but I just know there's a lot to be done.

[00:08:35] Sadie: Whereas when I'm like, okay, these five things have to be done, I'm like, that's manageable. And then I check one off and I'm like, okay, four more things need to be done. It's more when there's the unknown and it feels never ending, that I get extremely stressed and my, ability to cope with that decreases.

[00:08:49] Sadie: so there's a bunch of different ways you can make these lists, but the key is to write down every single task. And then after you've, brain dumped everything you need to do, put them in order of what needs to be done when. So you're going down the list, you're checking things off, and that will make sure that you don't forget anything and you feel like you have a plan.

[00:09:05] Sadie: There's a way that you're gonna go about this. You're not just hoping that everything gets done and procrastinating. The next piece of advice I would give is to have a shutoff time during finals week. I know that people are gonna be like, oh, I have to stay up later. I have to pull all nighters, not supporting the all-nighter thing.

[00:09:20] Sadie: I get it. If you have to stay up a little bit later because there is just so much work to be done, but what time are you like, I'm done. You know that after that time, you're not gonna do good work. You're not gonna be able to get up the next morning, you're gonna be exhausted, and it's just not effective.

[00:09:35] Sadie: Maybe that's 1:00 AM maybe that's 3:00 AM. depends you, but there has to be some boundaries because you do need rest. And I also find that I'm less hopeless and overwhelmed and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna work till 2:00 AM tonight and then I'm going to bed and you're not on the clock 24 7, if that makes sense.

[00:09:51] Sadie: So have a shutoff time. Figure out what that is beforehand. Set an alarm on your phone and hold yourself to that. And that helps prevent that feeling of I'm on a never ending cycle of working. Finals are never ending. My brain is on 24 7 and I can't cope with it. the next piece of advice that I wanna give is that it's either a marathon or a sprint.

[00:10:09] Sadie: I know most of life we say it's a marathon, not a sprint. Final season is kind of a sprint and it's important to remember that you can't sprint for the whole semester. So if you're choosing this time is when I'm sprinting the semester is a marathon. College is a marathon. High school is a marathon, but this is the sprint.

[00:10:26] Sadie: You have to have an end date in sight. So you're like, I'm sprinting for these three. , this is when I'm cramming. This is when I have all my work piling up because all my teachers assign things, what date does that end? What date do you turn things off because you cannot sprint a marathon.

[00:10:41] Sadie: And then the next piece of advice that I'll give for stress around finals is to hold yourself accountable by meeting up with friends and working during your classes. So what I mean by that is okay, of all these things to do if I'm like, okay, I'm gonna meet this friend at the library.

[00:10:56] Sadie: We're gonna go to Starbucks, or we're just gonna work in my room for two hours. I will get work done during that period. Similarly, if I'm forced to be in a class and I'm listening to someone else give their final presentation, I can knock out some notes or some studying for another class while I'm sitting there.

[00:11:10] Sadie: So choose these blocks of time where you're have to be focused. You have to be on your computer, whatever, and get the most out of that. So now test anxiety. I have a lot of advice here because test anxiety is very common and there are a lot of different ways you can approach this I think that one of the most challenging parts of coping with anxiety is remembering to implement the skills that, you know, it's one thing to learn the skills, it's another to implement them when you're in crisis and when your brain is going. 60 miles an hour and you can't even remember to breathe. So one of the most difficult things is to be like, these are the skills that I know now let's implement.

[00:11:47] Sadie: So my advice here is to make it really simple. Pick two skills that you know that works. Maybe that's breathing, maybe that's counting, maybe that is drinking water. Maybe that's going outside. Pick two skills that are always front of mind that you know really well that you've practiced. And don't force yourself to remember all 27 skills that you've heard on TikTok and Pinterest and this podcast, and all these different things.

[00:12:08] Sadie: Pick two. You're going to try and create some reminder, some cue in your environment relating to those skills. So if you get anxious, you're not just like, ah, I know these two skills. What were they? Maybe it's a sticker on your water bottle. Maybe you have a note on your notebook. Maybe you have one of those sticky notes on your computer.

[00:12:25] Sadie: Maybe it's a phone screen, maybe your thing is water, so your phone background is an ocean or something. Whatever it is, give yourself some kind of cue in your environment so you're not just relying on yourself to pull these skills out of thin air. The next piece of advice is to give yourself a little pep talk and try and counteract that, catastrophizing.

[00:12:43] Sadie: I find this is really helpful, especially around finals and test anxiety because we blow these things so out of proportion or like if I fail this test, I'm gonna get a bad grade in the class and then it's gonna go on my transcript, and then it's gonna impact grad school and then getting a job or getting into college.

[00:12:58] Sadie: All of these different things like what is really going to happen? Let's check the facts. If I get a bad grade on this test, how many points. would your grade really go down? Okay, you get it. C you get a D, maybe you fail a class. Okay? Then what happens? You take the class again or you ask if there's extra credit or a cd, whatever goes on your transcript and when you were applying to jobs, you, not that you can explain it away.

[00:13:21] Sadie: Cause I don't wanna be like, get all bad grades. It'll all work out, but your life will not be over, there have been many times where I didn't do well on a test or I didn't do as well, I wanted to in a class, and it is not the end all, be all. There will be an opportunity and many situations in life to explain the situation, to offer an explanation for the extenuating circumstances.

[00:13:44] Sadie: the people that are helping decide the trajectory of your future, whether it's admissions counselors or your new boss or the people reading your application for an internship, they're not gonna see a D on your transcript and be like, Nope, she's not even considered anymore. They're gonna be like, okay, what happened there?

[00:14:00] Sadie: Because the rest of the transcript and the rest of the application is really amazing and great, and this is what we love to see in a candidate. So let's ask a question, let's explore further. So even if you do badly, what is really gonna happen? , nothing major. Your life trajectory is not gonna be dramatically altered.

[00:14:18] Sadie: You're not gonna be homeless tomorrow. It's all gonna be okay. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that really, really, really force yourself to go down that rabbit hole. What is actually gonna happen and out the rabbit hole like this is gonna cause my entire life to fall apart. But what really would happen if you didn't do as well as you wanted to?

[00:14:34] Sadie: And it's not as bad as you think. The next piece of advice I wanna give is to ask as many questions as possible so you know what to expect when you're taking the test. How many questions are there gonna be? How long do we get? Is it multiple choice? Am I writing short answer questions?

[00:14:47] Sadie: Ask people who have taken the class before. Is it a hard test? Ask people that have the class earlier in the day than you. How did the test go? , obviously, you're not gonna know exactly what to expect when you sit down and take that test, but kind of having less unknowns is helpful and you are allowed to ask most of those questions to your professor, to your teacher, to your friends.

[00:15:05] Sadie: The last piece of advice here is to practice using your skills in the room where you're gonna take the test, especially in high school and college where you're taking your test. It's probably gonna be your classroom that you're in every day. So the day before the test, do some deep breathing while your professor is lecturing.

[00:15:21] Sadie: Practice counting. Use those skills in the environment so they jog your memory before you are actually needing them in crisis mode. So I hope that helps so many people experience test anxiety. Just remember that no matter how this test goes, it's still gonna be okay. Even if you fail, even if you get zero questions, the world will continue to go on.

[00:15:40] Sadie: And a lot of the things in life that make you happy and improve your mental health and that you're looking forward to have nothing to do with this test. It's the way that you spend your day to day. It's your relationships, it's the way you talk to yourself.

[00:15:53] Sadie: It's maybe you have a dog. All these little things have absolutely nothing. To do with how you're gonna perform on this test. The next question is, how do I set budget boundaries with friends and family when it comes to gift buying? If I have a low budget, how can I make the holidays fun? So I have younger siblings, I have three younger siblings, and as we got to the point where we could get gifts for each other, when my brother was probably at least over 10, not like four years old, but he was at the point where he was more independent, we would start doing gifts for each other.

[00:16:24] Sadie: Sibling to sibling, siblings to parents, that type of thing. But obviously a 10 year old and also me at that point I was probably like 16. We don't have the budget to buy five gifts because there's six of us in our family. Like that's a lot of gifts. So what we do every year, even though there's only six of us, is we do a secret Santa.

[00:16:41] Sadie: And it's a great, because we can all celebrate, we can all go around an opening, each gift, everyone is included, everyone is involved. It's really fun. It's your tradition and it's very budget friendly. . I love doing secret Santas because instead of buying a gift for every single person in your group, your friend group, your family, whatever, you're buying one gift and you can set a budget limit.

[00:16:58] Sadie: It's very clear. It's not like, oh, one person's gonna spend a bajillion dollars and one person went to the dollar store. You all set a budget. You know what the max is. You go from there. Another really fun kind of holiday tradition that we did last year with our family friends. You might have seen this on TikTok, but what you do is you take, I don't know, 10 to 15 little items and it could be a $5 gift card. It could be a piece of candy, it could be, last year we had pop, its in there. We did A little passport holder, a couple of books, small items, and what you do is you take a giant roll of Saran wrap and you start with the first item.

[00:17:33] Sadie: Normally you put the best thing in the middle, but you could put whatever you want. It could also be funny, you could put a dud gift and everyone would find it hilarious. But you wrap that up in Saran Wrap and every 10 layers of Saran wrap or so. You add in another gift and you keep keep wrapping and you get this giant ball of soran raft that's filled with gifts.

[00:17:50] Sadie: And what you do is you all sit in a circle and you have two sets of dye and you have a set of oven myths. You have this giant soran wrapped ball of gifts. and you have the person that's gonna start unwrapping wear oven, MITs, and they have to try and unwrap the wrap using oven mitts. It's really hard.

[00:18:07] Sadie: It's really difficult. Sometimes you don't even unwrap it at all. I've seen people do this on TikTok where they don't use oven mitts and it's not as fun. You have to use the oven MITs, otherwise it's too easy. But basically, the person next to you, to your left, to your right, you choose has to rule doubles.

[00:18:21] Sadie: For you to stop trying to unwrap the sorun wrap and for it to be their turn. So you go in a circle. Everyone is trying to roll doubles and when that person is rolling doubles, the person before them is trying to unwrap the sorun wrap. It's really fun. Everyone loved it. We were laughing so hard and that's another thing that is really.

[00:18:37] Sadie: Enjoyable, but isn't necessarily a high budget or a huge gift. And everyone pitches in. So like if you were doing this with your friends, maybe there's a group of five of you, everyone put in two little items. A candy, a five dog gift card, something like that. I will also say that some of my favorite gifts that I've ever gotten are notes from my friends, or I had this one friend that one time, she wrote me a birthday card and she printed out pictures of us and it was just so sweet.

[00:19:02] Sadie: So you can never go wrong with a handmade note and something really sweet like that. Even just little things that make people's life easier, like a Starbucks gift card. So appreciated. Everyone loves a Starbucks gift card. There's so many little things, but definitely, people are very understanding.

[00:19:18] Sadie: I feel like everyone has been in the position where they're like, I just don't have the budget for that right now. I can't do that. Say that. And especially if you have these structures where a budget is set, it's a lot easier to have that conversation.

[00:19:30] Sadie: Oh, and then the last thing that I totally forgot to mention is your gift could be a fun activity together. So maybe you're like, I'm gonna plan a really fun day for us all to go on a hike and we're gonna do a fun little coffee run, or we're gonna do a movie night and your gift is planning that and putting it together and that would be really, really fun.

[00:19:47] Sadie: So there are so many options, whether you'd wanna do a gift or do more quality time or just be really thoughtful, like a snack that your friend mentioned that they love. , things like that. People really, really appreciate it, and it's not about the number. . 

[00:20:00] Sadie: Today's episode is brought to you by teen counseling. The holiday season can be really, really stressful. We talked about this in this entire episode, that people struggle more with their mental health. They feel more stressed during the holiday season, and it's so important to increase your support system to compensate for that.

[00:20:15] Sadie: So if you are looking. Online Therapy support. I highly recommend teen counseling. They have over 14,000 licensed therapists within their network. Teen counseling is better. Health's branch of online therapy specifically for teenagers, and they offer support on things like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma and more.

[00:20:32] Sadie: All the things that we struggle with during the holidays. And they offer talk, text and video counseling. So depending on what level of support you are looking for, they are able to meet you exactly where you're at.

[00:20:41] Sadie: And you are able to meet with your therapist from your home, from college, whatever. It's, so you are going head to teen counseling.com/shape assisted. You are gonna fill out a quick survey about what you were hoping to work on, and they will match with a therapist that specializes in that area. . So if you wanna talk about grief, you wanna talk about anxiety.

[00:20:57] Sadie: If you want to talk about depression, they will match with a therapist that specializes in that specifically. If you are under 18, you will enter your parent or guardian's email. This is just to provide consent for treatment. I tested the email, I sent it to myself. It's very vague. All it says is Sadie, or whatever your name is, is hoping to work with a therapist from Teen Counseling.

[00:21:13] Sadie: Please learn more here. Provide consent for treatment, et cetera. And that's it. So if you wanna check out teen counseling, you can go to teen counseling.com/she persisted again, teen counseling.com/she persisted to find a therapist that meets your needs today.

[00:21:27] Sadie: Next question is how to continue healthy habits and productivity over the break.

[00:21:32] Sadie: Don't worry if you're like, that is the exact opposite of what I wanna do. I wanna be a couch potato and relax. The next question is tips to recharge and take a break. So first, if you're like, I'm on a great streak of being productive and staying on top of my habits, how do I continue that? This question is for you, and then we'll talk about being a bum.

[00:21:50] Sadie: Okay. Me during break. . the first thing is to keep using the systems that are working for you. So if you're in high school or college and you use a planner every day, or you use your Google calendar, keep using that overbreak. And it doesn't have to be as structured because you're not going to classes, you're not working on homework assignments, but put on your to-do list, your workout or a walk that you're going on, or your meals or the book you're gonna read, or a podcast, you're gonna listen.

[00:22:13] Sadie: Keep using that same structure because you've already built that system. You've already built that habit. Why not utilize that to continue your habits? And it'll also make it easier to do those habits because the healthy you're doing while at school or during school are probably in some way linked to that system that you're using to organize yourself.

[00:22:31] Sadie: In addition using that same system of organization, if you do workouts at a certain time when you're not on break, continue that system. If there are certain foods that you like to stick to continue doing those meals, all of these things that you've already built the habits for, just continue doing them.

[00:22:48] Sadie: Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Don't be like, I'm on break. Why not? Wake up at five 30 and go on a run all the time. That's gonna be a hard habit to build. If you wanna do that, go for it. Have so much fun for me, I'd be like, okay, I know that I'm doing workouts at night while I'm at college.

[00:23:01] Sadie: I'm just gonna keep doing that because it's working and that's how I know I can stay consistent. The. Piece of advice that I will give here is to set small goals to achieve. So you feel like you're working towards something, you're still checking things off, but it's not like you're on the same level of hustle and grind that you are during the school year.

[00:23:18] Sadie: So maybe your goal is to do a workout. Maybe you're gonna read a book over break, maybe you're gonna listen to a podcast or see a friend. Set those goals, achieve them. have that little boost of pride from building that mastery, and it doesn't feel like you're not getting anything done, but you're investing your energy in a different way than you would during the school year.

[00:23:37] Sadie: So you're still feeling refueled, recharged, relaxed, but you're still feeling productive. So now the opposite end of the spectrum. How do recharge take a break from school, especially if you're struggling with burnout at the end of the semester? I think this is all of Penn right now. Collectively, we are in this spot.

[00:23:55] Sadie: So the first thing that I wanna say is set boundaries. These can be little things. Maybe you're gonna delete the Canvas app. Maybe you're not gonna look at the assignments for next semester until, I don't know, I'm going back to school. I think we start on the 12th or something.

[00:24:07] Sadie: So maybe I won't look at the assignments or the syllabuses until January 10th. Don't talk with your friends or think about and ruminate how you did on a test that hasn't been graded yet. You've already taken the test. Investing more mental energy is not gonna change your grade, so let it go. Set the boundaries beforehand.

[00:24:25] Sadie: Decide what you're gonna allow yourself to think. Talk about invest in and what you are not going to. I will be deleting canvas. I'm not actually gonna delete it because I don't look at the notifications, but like that app will not be opened. My screen time will be zero for the entire month that I'm off.

[00:24:39] Sadie: similarly, I will not be looking at any syllabuses for next semester until right before I go back. I will not be talking about, I probably this again, like dues. I say, not that I do, I already know I'm gonna feel anxious about how I am gonna do on my final paper for my philosophy class that I have to write.

[00:24:54] Sadie: Like right after I go home, I'm gonna be nervous about what my final grades are gonna be, but I'm gonna remind myself that thinking about it more. Isn't gonna change those grades. I've already done all the work that I can, and at this point it's just the anxiety of the unknown and that's tough. So I'm gonna distract myself.

[00:25:11] Sadie: I'm gonna invest in other things, but I will be in it with you with the anxiety there. Another piece of advice is to make a list of things that boost your energy and mood. If you are feeling at a low with motivation and productivity, and if you're feeling so burnt out after the fall semester, make a list. And you can even do this as you go through your routine of what things. in your life, improve your mood and your energy. So maybe it is your morning routine, maybe it's going on a walk. Maybe it's seeing certain friends. Maybe it's reading a book, maybe it's watching a TV show. Whatever things you do in your life that improve your mood and make you feel more motivated and energized, make a comprehensive list of those, not like a, I must get these done because this, again is more flexible and relaxed and just to do things that you enjoy.

[00:25:52] Sadie: But try and do as many of those things as you can over break. So you're putting yourself in a position going into the spring semester, you're like, my energy is up. I'm feeling motivated. My cup is full, and I am ready to get back into the cycle of things. But be mindful of what things are, improving your mood, and try and do more of those.

[00:26:11] Sadie: Similarly, we're gonna accumulate positives over break. So this is a D B T skill where you plan moments of joy. It doesn't count. If you just happen to see a dog and you're like, oh my God, that made me so happy. You are planning moments of joy. You're like, I'm gonna see these friends on this date and I'm gonna cook this dinner with my family, or I'm gonna read this book.

[00:26:27] Sadie: You're planning moments of joy. You're filling up your cup. And what this does is it helps improve your overall emotional vulnerability. It helps improve that baseline so you're operating at a higher, higher level. So if your normal mood average is a five, if you are consistently accumulating positives, maybe you move that up to a six or a seven.

[00:26:45] Sadie: Additionally, if you do struggle with feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, What this will do is prevent you from getting into that head space of everything sucks. I have nothing going for me. I don't have anything to look forward to, and I hate everything because you've accumulated all these positives and you have so many positives planned.

[00:26:59] Sadie: And then the last thing to focus on during break, if you are feeling burnt out and overwhelmed is your please skills. Please stand for physical illness, exercise balanced, avoid mood altering substances, sleep and eat balanced. So all these basic physical things that improve your mental health and prevent you from being more emotionally vulnerable, especially if you're in final season, especially if you're feeling burnt out.

[00:27:24] Sadie: Some of these are probably out of whack. Maybe you're eating meals at random time. Maybe you're snacking late at night while you're studying. Maybe you're not sleeping as much as you should be. Maybe you haven't been exercising because you're so busy. Maybe you're sick because your body is struggling to mentally do the output that's required with finals.

[00:27:40] Sadie: And so your immune system is. Not performing as it should be. Get that please. Foundation back on track, over break. So you are setting yourself for success for the spring semester, and maybe you have to make a plan there. Maybe you're like, okay, I'm gonna get my three meals every day. Maybe I'm gonna shoot for this many workouts, or I'm gonna try and go on this many walks every week.

[00:27:58] Sadie: Or this is the time I'm going to bed and getting up every day. It's not just probably gonna organically happen, but be intentional. Set that as a little goal.

[00:28:06] Sadie: The second to last question is what should I do if I'm struggling with my body image and confidence during the holidays? This is a huge thing and it's very, very common, especially as we think about holidays and celebrations and hot chocolate and all of the yummy baked goods that come with the holiday season, candy canes, and just so many.

[00:28:27] Sadie: Delicious things. And also if it's colder, maybe you're not outside walking as much. Maybe you're in a different routine. Especially we talk about finals. Maybe you're exercising less, you're out of your routine. You feel like you're in a funk. This can impact body image a lot.

[00:28:41] Sadie: The first thing that I would do is get those plea skills on track, eat balanced, sleep, consistently, exercise in a balanced way, optimize for your physical illness, all of these things that are really important for your physical health, and especially if you're eating balance, that will help with extreme cravings or binging, or any of these behaviors that can come when we are not eating enough.

[00:29:04] Sadie: So that's one thing. Make sure that foundation is set and established. Additionally, I would do some, check the facts and remind yourself okay, even if I have the best, greatest, biggest, most delicious Christmas and Thanksgiving meal ever, how much is that really going to impact your physical appearance, it's literally not going to, it's one meal. We have to check the facts on how the science actually works there, and we have to remind ourselves of what habits you're regularly engaging in, and not lean into that catastrophization and freaking out, over things that aren't actually going to occur.

[00:29:38] Sadie: The other thing that I would mention here is if you do know that the holiday season is going to be more difficult for you from a self-esteem or a body image perspective, what can you do to counteract that? Are you going to build a habit of journaling and writing affirmations? Are you gonna practice saying affirmations to yourself in the mirror?

[00:29:55] Sadie: Are you going to start going on walks more? Because you know that does help your mood and your body image because , you feel good in your body when you're exercising and staying active. What can you do to decrease your vulnerability and susceptibility to those negative thoughts and emotions?

[00:30:11] Sadie: Another thing that I would definitely recommend is if you're working with a therapist, just put that on the radar. Be like, I tend to struggle with my body image more during the holidays. I'd love if we could just check in on that and make sure that's something that we're focusing on. Last question. Tips for dealing with seasonal depression, especially around the holidays.

[00:30:29] Sadie: You guys had so many questions about this. I did a TikTok video on this, and people are commenting and asking for tips. This is really quite the buzz topic this year, so gonna answer it again. Gonna give more tips. The first thing is the please scale. We wanna decrease our emotional vulnerability, especially when we know we are at risk or more likely to experience.

[00:30:48] Sadie: A mental health challenge. So if you were like, I tend to have a lower mood during the holidays, this means that I'm gonna make sure that my police skills are a hundred percent on track. I am going to eat balanced. I'm gonna get eight hours of sleep every day. I'm gonna exercise a couple times a week to get those endorphins. I'm going to not drink too much caffeine and make myself too. All of these things that will help you decrease your susceptibility to feeling depressed. I would also, again, really hone in on that accumulating positives. We want to increase our baseline so that when we do have tougher moments, we are more resilient and we have a really strong foundation to fall back on. So plan more moments of joy, plan more things that make you happy. Really, really incorporate those into your routine as a preventative measure. And both of those are really ways to overcorrect for potential negative emotions. So we're going above and beyond to overcorrect and make sure that we are not totally hit from left field with feeling more depressed or anxious or overwhelmed.

[00:31:44] Sadie: So maybe that means that you are really making sure that you are going out and being in sunlight every day when it is light outside. Maybe that means you are spending more time with your friends and family members to Get that relationship cup filled. Maybe you are again, accumulating positives.

[00:31:59] Sadie: You are eating balanced, you are exercising, you're getting enough sleep, you're going to therapy over correct so that you are either in a better mood or have more skills than you need to use, than being in a situation where like, I am so depressed and I do not know what to do. If you are in that position, my first go-to skill whenever depressive symptoms arise is opposite action. So opposite action is when you do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. So depression tells us to isolate. It tells us to withdraw.

[00:32:28] Sadie: It tells us to avoid things that will potentially boost our mood, like exercising or getting outside or engaging with people or going to school, going to work. So you're gonna do all of those. And as you do those things, your mood will shift as well. If there's the thoughts, emotions, behaviors, triangle, we are inserting ourselves into the behaviors, which will then shift the emotions and the thoughts as well.

[00:32:49] Sadie: And then the last piece of advice here is to increase your support system to compensate. There's no downside to getting more support. There's no downside to having more people in your corner if you don't need them. Why not have more people that are checking in on you and making sure you're okay and that you can lean on and support them in turn, what is the downside to that?

[00:33:08] Sadie: The position that you don't wanna be in is to be really struggling with your mental health and feel like you have no one that you can talk to and no one that understands. So increase your support system. You wanna compensate for the event that you might be struggling. and so make sure that you have enough people to talk to and go to for help, whether that's a therapist, a counselor, a teacher, a family member, a friend, all of these things.

[00:33:27] Sadie: So those are all the questions for today. I really hope this is helpful and you feel equipped and ready and prepared to go into the holiday season. I know that I'm gonna use a lot of these tips, especially with feeling anxious and recharging over the holiday season. But you got this, it's gonna be fun.

[00:33:43] Sadie: Do all of the fun holiday traditions. Spend time with family and friends. Maybe ski. I'm gonna snowboard. Hopefully we'll see. Do all of the fun things. It's gonna be great and we're gonna be awesome with our coping skills and our mental health is not gonna be bad. That's the plan. It's happening. So I really hoped you like this week's episode.

[00:34:02] Sadie: As always, make sure to share with a friend or family member if you enjoyed it. If you posted on social media, I'll repost and give you a shout out, leave a review. All of the things. You guys are the best, happy holidays and I'll talk to you next week. 

[00:34:14] Sadie: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of she persisted. If you enjoyed, make sure to share with a friend or family member, it really helps out the podcast. And if you haven't already leave a review on apple podcasts or Spotify, you can also make sure to follow along at actually persisted podcast on both Instagram and Tik TOK, and check out all the bonus resources, content and information on my website.

[00:34:36] Sadie: She persisted podcast.com. Thanks for supporting. Keep persisting and I'll see you next week.

© 2020 She Persisted LLC. This podcast is copyrighted subject matter owned by She Persisted LLC and She Persisted LLC reserves all rights in and to the podcast.  Any use without She Persisted LLC’s express prior written consent is prohibited.


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