22. How to maintain your mental health during coronavirus (COVID-19) and self-quarantine

Apr 3

listen to this episode:

In episode 22 of She Persisted, I sit down with Maya for the 2nd time to discuss how things have changed due to corona virus. We share our daily schedules and how we are working to stay positive and calm during a time full of anxiety. Finally, we dive into the anxieties that come with being a junior and the uncertainty about next year's college applications and admissions process.

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Welcome back to another episode of nevertheless, she persisted, your how to guide, happy place, and support system for navigating the ups and downs of life. Please share today's episode with your friends and family members and leave a review on Apple podcasts. And as always, I'm not a licensed therapist, just a teenage girl hoping to help... Enjoy.

All right. Hey, Maya, thanks for joining me this week to talk about Corona virus and how it's affected our day to day lives. Would you mind introducing yourself to the audience and telling them a little bit about you.

Maya: Yeah, absolutely.

So I'm Maya. Um, I've known Sadie. We've known, if you listened to our last episode, you might know this, but Satan and I have known each other since middle school.

Um, I currently go to a private school. I'm a junior in high school, just like Sadie. And I don't know what else to say. I mean, I like to play the piano. I love to read. Um, I lead, I co lead the feminism club at my high school, which is another thing I'm a part of. So, yeah, I guess brief introduction.

Sadie: Awesome.

So the goal for this episode I think is to talk a little bit about how online school and social distancing has affected both of us and give two points of view about how you can have like standard schedule tips and tricks for maintaining your mental health and your mental stability during this time where everything is pretty much been flipped on a tech.

So Maya, how has your high school experience, um, an education been impacted by coven 19?

Maya: Yeah, so at my school we obviously were not in session likely for the rest of the year. Um, so we are doing remote learning. We have classes. Still. So I still go through a normal school day as I would. I wake up in time for my 8:45 AM class and I end school around three 15.

So it's a slightly shortened school day, but essentially the same. Um, my classes are done via zoom, so video conference, and then my assignments. I kind of just squeeze in the afternoons in between classes. Um, it has been a tough transition. I mean, the hardest thing honestly, is just like, when you don't.

See your teacher in the room when you don't see your classmates every day. It's hard for me at least to like stay motivated. Um, it's hard for me to be super productive when I don't have those external kind of factors. Um, especially because I'm so used to my teachers like reminding me when assignments are due or like, you know, having them at my Beck and call when I need to ask questions, which is such a luxury that you realize that you don't have when you're doing remote learning.

So for me, it's just kind of like, I have to find ways to stay really focused. Like. When you're on a video call, it's easy to like go on your phone or like want to be doing something else and not be focusing. So for me, it's like I have to really isolate myself. Um, put my phone in another room and really just.

Focus all my attention on what the teacher is saying, because otherwise I know I will get lost in the class. Um, and then obviously there's a social element too, which is like, I feel really disconnected. Um, we're lucky to have social media and like text and FaceTime, and I can. See people on my screen every day.

But it's really hard to, not people to like, hook my friends in the morning and like, you know, go get lunch with them. That's definitely been super difficult. So, I mean, I'm sure it's different for you cause we go to different schools. Um, what has it been like?

Sadie: Um, I go to public school and we're also doing online school.

So instead of having actual classes, we get weekly assignments. I would say like half of my classes give you one assignment for the whole week and it's just due on Sunday night at 1159 the other half give you like daily assignments, so maybe it's a homework that's due the next day at 8:00 AM maybe if they give you something 8:00 AM and it's due at 6:00 PM that sort of thing.

So it's pretty split. And so we get weekly assignments, we do them independently. And then most of my teachers do office hours on zoom like once or twice a week. So if you want to, you can go and talk to them, ask questions, like see your classmates, whatever you want to do with that. So for me, it's been like really important that I stay on top of my assignments.

So I've been using a lot of to do this, like I have a different, like. Category for each of my classes and every day I just start by putting in all the new assignments that I've gotten and then scheduling them throughout the week. So that's been really helpful and I try and break them up, um, so that I don't do too much each day.

And the other thing is like the night before, um, if I have like calls or tutoring sessions, meetings, whatever it is, Oh, like plan out my day for like, what block I'm going to be doing, my math homework assignment or what block I'm going to be like doing chemistry office hours or just working on the homework.

So the other thing that's nice is that I can like completely stop doing school by like 8:00 PM every night. So when I was in school, it would be like, I would be doing homework up until right. Like right until I went to bed, like until I finished the assignment and if it got too late, I'd be like, whatever.

It's not going to be done. Like it's, yeah. 10 30 11 like I need to sleep. I've been down this path before, like sleep is vital to me, so I can't do this, but I can literally just have a shut off and then have time to spend with my family and we can like watch TV. And then, so that's been super nice with the flexibility, the schedule that I'm not so constrained by like, okay, I was at like.

Volunteering and stuff after school until like seven. So I only have like these three hours to do homework and like, I didn't get it done. I didn't get it done, you know what I mean? So that's been nice to have the more freedom with the schedule. And then I also do like a break in the middle of the day, just so that I'm not like doing homework all day every day.

So are my family eats dinner together. So, yeah. What is your, um, like schedule kind of like, now that we are sheltering in place, we're not alone.

Maya: All of that fully quarantined. I know. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's kind of, my day is based around my school schedule because I still have classes that are an hour long.

So I have four classes, so I get up, probably not as early as I should. I get up like 10 minutes before class starts. Um, throw some toast in the oven. Peanut butter toast

Sadie: oven?

Sorry. In the toaster. I Tozer up and you can call it either way. Throw some toast in the toaster oven, get peanut butter on there, get back in my room.

Turn on my zoom, get in class, and then I have breaks in between classes. So in between, I like to do my, I have like a 20 minute core workout that fits perfectly in between my two morning classes. So I have a yoga mat in my room.

I know

Maya: I'm trying to get fit. I want to leave quarantine feeling like a healthier person .

Sadie: I would love that also, It's not going to happen.

Maya: Okay. Listen, I, I'm still full of motivation. I know in a week from now I'll be done, but like, let me just, let me like take advantage of this. You know.

Sadie: Okay, okay, you do you!

Maya: So I do a little bit of core and then I just go into class. Then I have like two hours for lunch. So I kind of like do what I'm doing now, which is like FaceTime people Sadie and I are doing this podcast remote because we are obeying social distancing rules.

Sadie: Yes!

Maya: So we are in our respective rooms, we have our mics out, and we're just. Doing this over FaceTime.

Sadie: So

we are #thriving.

Maya: we are #thriving.

So I just

kind of do this and then I just, you know, put on Netflix or chat with friends and then I try and go outside. I haven't been doing that every day, but like today, my sisters and I, we walk to the local middle school and we just threw a Frisbee around on the field and skateboarded on the blacktop.

Um, and

then in the evenings...

Sadie: You didn't touch the

play structure.

Right?

Maya: Did not, there was no play structure. It is a middle school, but yeah, we did not touch the basketball hoops because I was just

scared.

Seriously. Um, and then, yeah, in the evenings it's kind of just like getting my homework done again, I think like this is one of the times when.

Hanging around your family is like, honestly, if you have the time to do it and if they're their best thing to be doing because we really don't have like human contact. Yeah. We have no human contact. So it's like these are the people I'm with. I got to like maximize. And also I know when this is over in a month or two months or three months or four or whatever, like we're all going to get back to our busy lives and I'm not going to get this luxury of seeing them every day.

So for me, I try and like. You know, play board games, family, movie nights, whatever we can squeeze in at the end of the day. Um, just to maintain some routine and also some family time.

Absolutely.

Yeah. So that's mine. Let's hear from you. What are you, what are you up to every day?

Sadie: Yeah. So I talked a little bit about like my school schedule, but so waking up for me depends a lot on if I have the puppy.

So we have like a puppy, she's like six months old now. The kids like rotate whose room she's in because she wakes up like really early. You have to go take her down and she's gonna like poop herself. So you've got to get up, you've got to feed her breakfast. Or she like whines forever and like IVs to not take her out in the morning.

And she would literally poop all of the kids. She would have to take her out like. So Piper wakes up around Tribers the dark Piper weeks up around like six 30 definitely before seven. If I have paper, yeah, I'm up then and I'm downstairs, my Fedor and sometimes I'll like nap on the couch, but most of the time my parents are up then too.

So I'll go with them to the Starbucks drive through, which I like because it's really probably not the best social, distinct practicing practice. My parents are addicted to Starbucks, like my mom cannot go a day without it. So she goes to the drive through and it's nice because you like get out of the house, you get to have like a little break from being inside, like that's great.

So, yeah, I like that. I feel like I've done something early in day because I've been out of the house. So I get back, I start doing homework. Um, and I work on school from like about nine or 10 until 12, and then we do like family lunch and then I work until dinner and we do like family dinner, and then I finish up like any extra random assignments after dinner.

Um. And I like take breaks throughout the day. Sometimes, I work on like podcasting stuff rather than homework. And then we like take the dogs on a walk or we'll go on a family walk. So we do get out a little bit. Um, so yeah, that's pretty much it. I just try and get up like at a similar time every day, which is just like before eight and then got in bed by like 10 something.

Um, and that seems to help me a lot also if I like get up and get ready, that's been a huge thing. If I stay in my pajamas all day and like don't brush my teeth, like I feel like. The most unproductive person out there. I had done so much schoolwork. I'm like, this is a disaster, so I have to get up, I have to get ready, and then doing schoolwork, and because I have so much work, I don't mind it.

I stay busy. So yeah, that's pretty much how my schedule is.

Maya: Yeah, I do want to second that. I do think like getting up and getting dressed is like. Can I get you off on the right foot? Because if you don't, it just, it's so hard to feel like it's a normal day and like I have classes and I should be treating this like any other day in the week.

Um, like I normally would. I definitely think that is key. So yeah, kind of on that same vein actually, like how are you maintaining your mental health? Cause obviously we have schedules in school. Like this is all to be going on right now.

Sadie: Yeah. So for me, the biggest like thing that was tied to my mental health was sleep.

I wasn't sleeping a lot. I would end up was, or it would result in me being super depressed. Om, I either would have a ton of energy, I wouldn't have a lot of energy. The biggest thing was like sleeping and eating balanced and relationships. So what I, a lot of the work I did at McLean was like regulating my schedule.

I was not going well. It's like regulating my schedule. So again, like getting up at the same time every day, going to bed at the same time every day. Um, not too many naps. Like that's another thing, cause you nap, you can't get to bed. Eating normal meals and spending time with my family. Those three things have been really big and I'm surprised, like I talked to you, I talked to Stephanie a lot.

I haven't talking to like my school friends as much, and I think it's because like I get the same relational fulfillment from my family and spending time with them as I would have school. So it's part of me that's like, this is really bad. Like everyone's going to go back and still be close. And I'm not talking to anyone.

Like this is not good thinking about this in the big picture. But for now, like . I feel good. I feel good about my relationships, I'm happy. So it's working for me. And I think like another thing, I gave up social media for lent, so that's still going on. So I think once I get that back, I will naturally be interacting more with my friends.

But because for right now, I'd have to go out of my way and text them. I only do that with a handful of people. Okay. So to maintain my mental health, I try and keep my sleep regular. I keep my eating regular, working on school. If for me feels productive and like I'm doing something sort of just sitting in bed and watching TV all day and the podcast has been another thing that's a project for me to really dive into and get fulfillment from and feel like I'm still doing something right.

So those would be the biggest things, like regular schedule, family relationships, and um, sleeping. So, yeah. What about you, Maya? How are you maintaining your mental health during this time?

Maya: Yeah, I mean, honestly, a lot of the same stuff, I think it's, those are kind of the core pillars right now of. Staying sane, which is just like keep your relationships.

I think for me it's like kind of similar to you. I don't want to be forcing anything if I don't feel like talking to someone. I don't feel like I should be trying to reach out to people right now. I think part of me is like, Oh yeah, I'm going to get back to school and I'm going to regret not having talked to these people way more when I had all that time.

But I think part of it is like, I don't want to be looking at a screen all day. And the other part is like, I think if I'm not feeling it, I shouldn't force it so. Having a lot of time does kind of force you to listen to your body and your mind and see where you're at and just kind of really obey that and not try and fight it.

So there's that. Um, family relationships are key. I mean, we kind of talked about that. And then, yeah, I think routine, like getting out of sweatpants, those are just the only other things I've been doing, but they've been working well.

Sadie: Do you want to

be featured on a future episode or questions you want answered about therapy, depression, anxiety, or life?

Do you want to share your story, email inquiries@shepersistedpodcast.com or reach out via social media? You can also head over to my website. Shepersistedpodcast.com and fill out the contact form anonymously or with your name and hope to hear from you.

Yeah, so one thing that I'm really nervous. About honestly is like grades, AP tests, like college applications because, so like the college board has come out, they postponed two SATs.

I missed mine.

Maya: We won't talk about that

Sadie: Not a good moment for me. Um, so there's like, not a lot of sat dates. The UCS just came out and said that, um. SATs and HTTS are optional. You can do them for a scholarship, but they're not mandatory for applications, which is crazy.

Um, so yeah,

it's like never happened before. And so I worry a lot, especially about grades this semester.

Like I'm taking APS and there's like rumors about classes being pass fail, which should mean that there wouldn't be like an AP waiting for things, which makes me nervous because like my. I need the AP. Waiting for my GPA. Like that definitely helps it out. And like this summer, like I was going to do some internships.

Some of them I've already gotten emails that they're canceled, like they're not even looking at applications, which is crazy. So that's one thing I'm personally like really nervous about. I don't know if you've heard anything about that, but yeah,

Maya: I mean definitely.

It's so crazy right now. Like everything is so up in the air.

I feel like within the next few weeks, like things could just change entirely. They could be flipped on their heads and like, it's so hard to know, and especially for us being juniors, I feel like this is the time when we're supposed to be doing crucial planning and it's impossible to plan when like you don't know what's going on.

Sadie: I mean, will colleges evaluate us on the same standards that they have. Applicants in the past because we can't necessarily give them that. We haven't had the opportunities of being in classrooms to take our classes and get our full education. We might not be able to take an ACT or an SAT we won't to be able to do internships.

The summer AP tests are abbreviated like, will they look at that and be like, well, these students didn't do everything freshman and sophomore year, so we're not going to accept them when in the past. Like students who have had junior year to do more stuff. So that's something I'm really worried about. And that's just a question like up in the air that.

I haven't heard a lot about from a lot of schools,

Maya: and if they don't take that into account, like what can I do with this point? Honestly, like, I don't think there's much, like, I don't have time now to retake the sat necessarily. I can't do the Indian trips. I mean, the internships could be postponed. I, you know, I originally had plans for the summer that are most definitely canceled.

Um, so I mean, is it going to look like I didn't try? Is it gonna look like I didn't put in the effort? And if so, is that going to negatively impact me as a, as, um, someone who's applying to college? I have no idea.

Sadie: And like, it also makes me wonder, like, I feel like there'll be a lot more of an emphasis. By students put on this fall semester.

So at the keep watching the early application rates, because my prediction is that they'll go way down because students will be like, we didn't get these great recommendations because my junior teachers didn't see me for a whole semester, so I want my senior teacher to do it. And I didn't get as many volunteer hours or internship hours.

So I want this on my application, so I'm going to turn in my college application later. So that was just one thing I think will probably happen. But it's crazy that the world is changing so much and like really everything is upside down right now and I just wonder how that'll affect our college applications.

Maya: Yeah. It's, I mean, that's a lot. It's a lot of stress inducing stuff. I don't think anyone has answers at this point. I feel like we're all kind of in this waiting game. It feels weird. It feels like we're stuck in this moment of time where nothing is changing yet everything's happening. It's like time isn't passing, and yet when we get out of this.

The whole quarantine like thing is just going to pick back up. We're going to be expected to just produce and produce and

Sadie: But do you really think it will?

Like, I feel like there is definitely going to be things like societaly that change. Things like Uber, things like public transportation. We just have so much more of an awareness for that now.

So I think like in the like medical care system, like. Yeah. We are not prepared for something like this. So how will that change how we function in the future? Like will there be more regulations in like more frequent testings to prevent things like this in the future? So I think things will definitely change after this, and I think it'll definitely be a curve of first, like.

Maybe private schools going back or, honestly probably first public schools going back and then private schools or maybe just next fall. Everyone goes back together, but I don't think we'll just jump into it immediately, especially because they're projecting that the coronavirus will leave the big cities like the Bay area and go to the smaller towns and be here for awhile.

Maya: Right. I think, yeah, I think you are right. I do think, I think my fear is that it's going to all pick up quickly. I don't think that is the reality. I think you are right about that. Yeah. I think, I mean societaly I think things will be really different. Like with Corona virus, we've basically been told that contact is.

not advisable. And human contact is like just evolutionary so vital to our wellbeing that's like built

into,

yeah. So I mean, is it, I think after it is going to be like, you know, now when you see someone on the sidewalk, you got to stay six feet apart. Like it's a natural instinct to push yourself away from people.

And I think that's like definitely something that. Either consciously or subconsciously is going to continue to kind of pervade in society where it's like this fear of contact, which I think that's sad.

Sadie: Yeah. It's like our current reality right now is definitely unlike anything I've seen in my lifetime.

I've heard so many people like my grandmother, my parents saying like, I've never experienced anything like this before. This is completely unprecedented. So it's, it's honestly crazy. Um, have you been. Experiencing like the anxiety that everyone's talking about, about this self quarantining, about the virus and everything going on.

Maya: I think for me, like for sure, I think about it like 100%. I'm thinking about it. Um, I think there's times when I'm like, I think, Oh, you know, it doesn't necessarily affect me directly. And then there's other times where I feel like it is so close to home. Like my mom, she's a doctor and she's an ER doctor, so she's in the emergency room treating the very patients who are testing positive.

She's not just like, you know, a clinical physician or something. She is the person who, if you were to walk into the ER and say, Oh, I need to get tested, I'm having these symptoms, she would be the one, you know, doing the swabs

Sadie: administering

test. Exactly.

Maya: So I do get worried about that. I definitely think having someone who is constantly in contact with people who are.

Covert positive is scary. There are times when I'm like, Oh, she's a doctor. She's basically invincible. And then there's times when I'm like, she's just a human, and she did one day come back and test positive. And honestly that is, there's a high likelihood of that and that's definitely scary. I think that anxiety will always be there.

I think it's made me kind of appreciate. The what we take for granted, right? Like, you know, especially with, if you have parents who work high risk jobs like that, um, or service jobs, it's the same thing. So I think that anxiety is definitely there for me. Do you feel it? Do you have that same anxiety?

Sadie: You know, it's interesting.

So I don't know if it's, it's definitely not affecting me as much as it's affecting a lot of the country. Right. Like worked. I had a job, like at a restaurant, obviously if they closed now, but I'm not like contributing a paycheck for rent. Um, my mom stays at home and my dad like, um, like a self employed so he can just work from home easily.

So that hasn't like changed that a lot. I know a lot of the anxieties are about like, well, we're not employed. Like where are we going to get the money from? What about taxes, payments, all that kind of stuff. So that's not something that I felt a lot of anxiety about and I'm like, honestly, very grateful for that.

Yeah, I do worry a lot about like accidentally being a carrier and not realizing it. Like that's something. That's really scary because they do say that teenagers can not have symptoms and carry it and pass it on to other people. And even if we are not immunocompromised, even if we do have stronger immune systems, it doesn't mean that the people we come in contact to will be as strong, will be as, um.

Resilient to the virus. So that's definitely something that scares me and I, I do worry about that. I also do worry about like if we waste food, like if we don't eat everything or something gets thrown away, like, should we not have bought that? Should someone, did someone else eat it more than us? Like that kind of thing.

Yeah. That's the biggest anxiety. I don't worry a huge amount, like about like the entire country, like shutting down or that kind of thing because I don't know. We are, we probably could have reacted more effectively when you look at videos of how they're handling this in China, like they have like thermometer stations everywhere.

Like people are quarantined in like hotels run by the government for weeks. Like we are not at that level and at the same time and the economy is failing right now. Like that's another thing. And like, I don't know, I still have faith that it will pass, that we are going to come together. We are going to get through this.

A lot of people are self quarantining and that's a really good sign. Hopefully we are flattening the curve more and more States every day are issuing that shelter in place, um, order. So there's hope. There's definitely hope.

Maya: Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of conflicting messages too.

I mean, sometimes I hear, Oh, you know, like we haven't hit the peak at the peak is two weeks away. And then other times people are like, it's going to leave the Bay area soon. And honestly, like no one knows this is a new thing. There's something scary about not knowing. And I think everyone, and to some extent is going to feel that that anxiety.

Sadie: I completely agree. Um, and like, while there's all this anxiety, all this fear, there's a lot more like sense of community. Like I've seen so many, um, Instagram like therapists doing lives and answering questions about people's fears about the virus and managing their anxiety or helping maintain their relationships during this time.

Um, a lot of zoom calls, like, I've seen a lot of like, sober meetings on Zooms and. AA meetings and just so many more options for outreach. I know my school is doing like lunch options. They're doing like three meals if you go pick them up. So I think that's really cool to see how people are coming together during this time.

Maya: Yeah. I mean, in our neighborhood too, we have. Little things too. I mean, we have, you know, we have online counseling and stuff from school, which I think is so important during a time like this. And then there's little things that neighbors have been doing. For example, um, on our block or in our neighborhood, in the whole little city, we've been doing something called a bear hunt.

Which is based off the children's book. We're going on a bear hunt and people basically put Teddy bears in the window so you can walk around the neighborhood, and little kids love it because they can go around and see like stuff bears in the windows and it's just little things that remind you that, yeah, we're all in it together, so

Sadie: that's amazing.

Maya: Yeah. Stuff like that. It definitely, it definitely brings people together in ways that are unexpected and wouldn't happen otherwise.

Sadie: Yeah. So when everyone is coming together as a community and trying to fight this, there's also been a lot of great outlets for finding support. Um, and for like mental health outreach options.

I know the CDC has like a page on stigma and resilience and. Um, there's, that's pretty active. The American psychological association offers like step by step guides on how to make, stay strong during this time, um, and help individuals get through that anxiety. Um. National, the national Alliance on mental illness NAMI.org.

They have a website that has conversations and exchanges. Um, sevencups.com is online text emotionsanonymous.org also has weekly meetings and sessions. Um, supportgroupscentral.com also has like virtual support groups. There's a lot of different. Yeah, there's like tons and tons and tons. If you just Google, like COVID, um, support, COVID, outreach options, all of that.

So you were definitely coming together. And I think that's one of the coolest things about this. We're also isolated. We're all so separated as a nation, and yet we're all coming together and trying to support each other because we all know we're going through the same thing. We're all isolated. We're all alone, so we're almost more connected than we were before.

Maya: It's crazy. Yeah. I think also just looking at the number of resources, it's such a reassuring feeling to know that there are so many people out there who want to help, who have the expertise and who are now offering that so readily available for everyone, everyone in the country. Um, and I think it makes you feel a little bit less like you're alone, which I think is a

good thing to know.

Sadie: Like again, the Instagram lives. So easy. So accessible to everyone,

Maya: Oh, I've benn hopping on all of those!.

Sadie: Yeah. There's all these licensed therapists that are just there to answer questions there to help you there, to offer advice and all that. So yeah, I think that's really awesome and really powerful that those people are giving up their time.

They're trying to help the community in any way they can. Alrighty. Well, thank you so much again my for joining me. We hope some of these types

were helpful

during this Corona virus time. Please again, be sure to reach out if you need any support. If you have any questions, any you need, advice for coping skills, anything like that, please, please, please let me know.

So thank you for listening. Thank you for coming on, Maya.

Maya: Of course. What a fun time this was. I wish we could do it in person, but this is the best.

Sadie: Oh, yes. Alrighty. Thanks for listening. Bye. If you enjoyed this week's episode. Nevertheless, she persisted. Please leave a review on Apple podcasts and share with your friends and family to stay updated on new episodes, dropping in bonus content following their flesh.

She persisted on social media, Instagram @shepersistedpodcast, Twitter @persistpodcast, Facebook, @neverthelessshepersistedpodcastwithSadieSutton and check out my website. Shepersistedpodcast.com.