71. 1st Month of College DEBRIEF: Tips for Move-In, Socializing, Productivity, Studying, and more!

Sep 19

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There are so many fun interviews coming to She Persisted in the next few months and I had to do a life update episode before those go up!

This week's DBT Skill is Loving Kindness, learn more here.

I dive into the following topics…

+ podcast updates and what to expect during the next few months (!!)

+ what move-in was like and the importance of understanding your priorities before

+ the importance of having an emotional safe space at college

+ decreasing vulnerability factors during move-in week

+ ways to create a schedule that increases your productivity

+ how to support your college student as a parent/friend/etc

+ so much more!

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ Scout Sobel on She persisted

+ My Ep. on Okay Sis

+ Emotional Entrepreneur by Scout Sobel

+ Dorm Photos: : https://www.instagram.com/p/CU3Ug0eloNl/

+ Notion

Episode Sponsors

🍓This week's episode is brought to you by Sakara. Sakara is a nutrition company that focuses on overall wellness, starting with what you eat. Use code XOSADIE at checkout for 20% your first order!

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

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a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host Sadie Sutton. Every Friday, I post interviews about mental health dialectical behavioral therapy and teenage life. These episodes break down my mental health journey, teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase testimonials from individuals, including teens, just like you.

Whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve your mental fitness. This podcast is your inspiration to live a life you love and keep persisting

This week, DBT skill is loving kindness. Loving kindness is a scale used to increase love and compassion, and it can be used towards others as well as yourself this week. We're really going to dive into using it yourself as I think it is so important to give yourself an extra bit of compassion during big changes in your life.

Like moving to college, loving kindness is a mindfulness practice designed to increase love and compassion first for ourselves. Then our loved ones, friends, those who are angry with difficult people, enemies. And then for all beings, so did you, this practice, you're going to choose a person you're sending loving kindness towards again, you're starting with yourself

and you begin by centering yourself to your breath. You're breathing slowly and deeply. Your palms are open and you're gently focusing your attention to the person that you want to send loving kindness to you radiate this loving kindness by reciting warm wishes such as may I be happy?

May I be at peace? May I be healthy? May I be safe or another set of positive wishes of your own? Repeat this slowly and focus on the meaning of each word. As you say it in your mind. If you have distracting thoughts, just notice them as they come and go and gently bring your mind back to this. Continue until you feel yourself immersed in loving kindness and gradually work yourself up your loved ones, friends and other individuals.

You can practice this each day at any point and use this mantra to bring yourself a sense of calm, love care throughout the day. This is one of my favorite skills to use when I'm feeling overwhelmed or upset, and really just remember to go easy on myself. So with that being said, let's get into this episode.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to she. Persisted. I am so happy to say that it's been two weeks since an episode went up and like so long since I recorded an intro because I recorded that one before I went to college.

So it just feels really good to be back and podcasting and in the groove of things and talking to you guys, content creating and all that kind of stuff. If you follow me on Instagram, you know, that last week my intention was to record two episodes. I had an interview scheduled with a really exciting guest.

I was ready to be in the podcast grind at college. However, enter the freshmen plague of Penn 2021. Everyone got tested on their way in and all of a sudden people on campus, whether it was kids down the hall or professors were coughing and sore throat.

COVID like symptoms. So everyone was like, great. This is awesome. First week of college is amazing. Not only was it like a little bit nerve wracking COVID wise, it was miserable. I literally slept for like 17 hours one day, trying to navigate that while adjusting to a course load and starting classes and making friends was a literal disaster.

On the worst feeling is being sick and not being at home. I literally was like laying in my bed and I was like, I just want to take a bath. Can I please just like be at home right now? Love college, like adjusting very well. We'll dive into that in so much detail, but being sick in a dorm room is not it.

If anyone's going through that, like I feel for you, it's not a fun moment.

Editing note, this whole freshmen plague thing I've gotten tested, I know at least 10 people that have gotten tested that it's been negative for COVID so they don't know exactly like what common cold it is, but everyone that has been tested positive, which I personally don't know of anyone.

They quarantine you go off campus. It's a whole thing. So I'm saying everyone's sick. As far as I know, everyone that is sick is not sick with COVID, including myself.

So. Last week, no episode, but we're back time to debrief, give a little bit of a life update, answer some of your questions. And then we're going to jump into a series of amazing interviews.

During the next two to three months, I worked with one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Her name is scout Sobel. She's been on the podcast before a link her episode in today's show notes. She is a co-host of a podcast called okay. She has her own podcast called scout podcast.

She runs a PR agency called Scouts agency. This woman does it all and and she was just, I can't get over her generosity and kindness in this diving on two little tangent. You're talking about these new guests. So that's what's happening. Apologies. I recorded with her to be on a mental health series for Okay Sis and I'll link that below.

It was such an amazing conversation. She just asked such good questions. It was one of my favorite episodes that I've ever done on another show. And at the end of it, she was like, I want to hear about you. What are the updates? What is your vision for the podcast?

And I talked to her about how I'm doing social media management on the side, and I really want to continue the podcast throughout college. And she was just so in line with what my vision was, she was like, this is it, Sadie, like. The next six months, one year, if you really dig in and dive invest in this podcast and get yourself as a guest on other podcasts and have amazing guests on your show.

I see so much potential here. I think my heart was just like swelling. When someone can see what your. Working towards, and they believe that it has the possibility to like get traction or find a community. It's just the most amazing thing. She's literally one of the busiest persons ever.

She just launched a freaking book, linking it in today's show notes. She just handed to me. She's so sweet. I'm going to be reading it within the next couple of weeks. And I'll do a little Instagram post on what I think it's called the emotional entrepreneur. And I'm very, very excited.

Anyways, back to this. She, it was like, I would love to help support you, mentor you all of these things. So she gave me advice and feedback on my pitch email, and I have easily sent like 200 pitchy emails during the history of the podcasts. I think I've emailed Lauryn. Bosstick probably like 37 times. I'm sorry, Lauryn. You're not listening to this, but I'm sorry. Because that's part of the hustle. It's getting people on your show. It's creating content. , it's part of the process. And so, like I said, she owns a PR agency. They specialize in getting women on podcasts. This is what she does. This is her jam. She helps me do my pitch email, and I sent it out to probably 50 or 60 people. And I'm not kidding. When I say I've booked 15 guests that I never thought I'd be able to book.

And it's just the most insane, amazing lineup. We have Victoria Garrick. We have Krista from almost 30. We have Johann Hari. We have Paige Layle. We have Dr. Caroline leaf. We have Dr. Aliza Pressman, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, like so many crazy people. There's more like, that's just like five that I'm reading off the Instagram post.

I put up earlier this week, like this is an insane lineup and my mind is. I'm shocked, like a little bit of like, they want to come on, like my podcast, like they agreed to it. Like that's, what's going through my head, but I'm just so excited. So all of this to say, get very excited for the next couple of months of She Persisted, the quality of content is going to go off the charts.

It's just going to be some of the I'm sure the most amazing episodes that I've ever put out and I'm just hugely, hugely, hugely excited. With that being said, college updates. It is Thursday, September 16th. I moved into the university of Pennsylvania on August 24th and August 25th recapping starting there.

I was stressed the packing experience, making sure that everything would get here. I didn't know what moving would look like. I want to insert my first tip. Moving into college and navigating that it's to coordinate with your roommate beforehand. If you can get on a FaceTime call, if you can meet up like that's optimal.

And just get to know each other, start building that relationship and be really intentional things like who's going to bring a straightening iron. Who's going to bring a blow dryer. We don't need both. Like that is something that is helpful in the moving process, because you don't need to bring two of everything.

You can coordinate your decor. Speaking in which dorm tour is coming sooner. I promise It is just so helpful to be on the same page. And it's one less thing. They are overwhelmed by during moving, moving itself. PLEASE skills guys like this is going to be a very stressful day. Not only are you doing like intense amounts of manual labor?

At least I was because I was carrying things up five floors. God bless my parents, my dad and my roommate's dad literally installed flooring in our dorm. They were, they were so annoyed. Literally my dad was like, okay, this is not happening. Any of your siblings like this one-time thing? How did I create this?

And it wasn't just like peel and stick foreign guys. It was click and lock. Like they had a little mallet out, they were cutting vinyl. Like it was a whole freaking situation and it looks so good. As soon as the photos go up on Instagram, I'll put them in the show notes, but like, it was, it was a moment. It took four hours.

So. I was very ambitious and I'm not saying that that's like my advice, like go crazy with the dorm room. But when I was thinking about moving to college, something that I really prioritized was again, dorm room. I was like, this is going to be a spot that I'm living for the next year. I have said for years, we don't live in the same dorm for four years.

But there's a couple of different reasons why this was something that was important to me. And I'm not saying that it has to be important to you, but having an awareness of what's important to you is something that's really crucial because you're anticipating stronger emotional reactions. You're willing to prioritize these different things.

And set yourself up for success. You can advocate for yourself, all of these things. So I prioritize the dorm room, whether that was like making sure that I really liked the look of like my bed and that it was really comfy. And then I was prepared and then I printed out my photos and for a couple of reasons, one.

Is that you're living here for a year. I wanted my dorm room to be somewhere that I really enjoyed relaxing in being in. And it could be a safe and happy place, especially as we've gotten into the first couple of weeks of college, I'm realizing my tendency to be introverted and that I need time to recharge from socializing.

So I wanted my dorm room to be somewhere that was a happy place. We also know that your, your living environment directly influences your mental health. So I wanted it to bring me joy. I wanted to make, to make me smile when I see pictures of the dogs on the wall and to these things that I've picked out.

Right. Next reason that I prioritize the dorm room is I wanted it to be a very. Next reason that I prioritized the dorm room was my roommate. And I wanted it to be a very inviting space. People were like, yeah, we want to hang out here. We didn't want it to be like, oh, I have to go sit in their dorm room.

Like this isn't fun. Like we wanted it to be an enjoyable spot those nice to hang out. And so yeah,

the last reason. I'll say that I prioritized the dorm room was that it was just really fun for me to make Pinterest boards and get to use that creativity and pick out certain things and do these projects, like get a sense of purpose and creativity and have something that I really enjoyed. So I went on that tangent to kind of just give the piece of advice, to be aware of what your priorities are, where your emotions are tied to so that you can go into the experience prepared to navigate that. Moving day. I totally got off on my Tandon there, but please skills.

It's a very stressful day. You're probably going to be saying goodbye to family members. You're at a totally new place. You're doing manual labor. It's very stressful. You're trying to move an entire year's worth of stuff into a room in one or two days. Being sure that you are ready physically, emotionally, mentally, beforehand is crucial having a plan before, like, okay, can we get lunch and take a break?

Because I don't think I can do this for 12 hours on end or Hey, if things get really difficult and we start like arguing, can we all agree to take a 10 minute break? Something like that? Right. So mentally preparing for moving. Accepting it's going to be stressful and then preparing. So we're coping ahead.

They're moving day itself went pretty smoothly. It took two days. We had to do a couple Ikea target, CVS runs, but overall it did go very well. And I noticed that I had a very strong. I wouldn't say urge, but I felt like they need to settle and nest and unpack and have a home base again, of the dorm room before I was like, yeah, I want to go out and meet people and socialize. There were tons of people that were like congregating in the quad and outside.

And I knew like for me, I was like, okay, what will be most. Fulfilling and emotionally effective for me is to really unpack, feel comfortable and safe and happy in this place. And then I'm recharged enough to go out and socialize and build relationships and connect and explore. So that was something that I was really aware of and respected of for myself within the first couple of days.

And that's totally a person by person thing. If you're the kind of person where it's like, this is just overwhelming. Like I don't want to do all my unpacking right now. I need to recharge by going out and socializing. Totally fine plan

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after that was new student orientation, which was quite an experience, basically NSO, new student orientation. It's kind of just a party. We get Penn. So you have orientation groups, whether it's summer reading or maybe a campus tour or a Q and a session. But for the most part, people are just going out and either going to parties, which are day parties or parties at night.

. And if you guys have more questions about kind of what that's like to navigate and what that looks like as a college student, because I feel like that something you don't have a lot of insight about before you go to college, send me a DM on Instagram and I'll build it into a future episode.

But I mentioned that because it was a heavy week. I could see it being very emotionally overwhelming because you're in a new place. You've just said goodbye to your family, your support system. Isn't there, you are really lacking a lot of your basic police skills because you're going out every night.

And again, you don't have to go out every night. I did not go out every night. There was a couple nights where I was like, I'm tired. I want to sit in the room and unpack and organize the kitchen. And that was great. And I respected that like emotional experience and didn't force myself to go out and go to a party.

And I, I was, I knew what I needed and I listened to that. So yeah, it was just a very busy week. Go, go, go, go. And then I started getting sick, which was terrible. We started classes on the 31st of August. And pretty quickly homework load picked up my day is which I've been trying to put more on Instagram stories, our classes in the morning.

And then I ended up having meetings for the podcast or for work. I am sprinkling bits of social media management in throughout the day. I'm at the library, probably two or three hours every day. And I'm going to bed at like one or 2:00 AM and it really feels like it's hard to breathe sometimes. Like, it's just go, go, go, go, go.

There's always things to do. And so that has kind of been the schedule since school started. And I've noticed that I am thriving with the momentum when I was at home during the summer. I'd be like my only goal today is to go on a walk or my only goal today is to edit a podcast.

And that would be really, really difficult for me to do. And it wasn't that I was like feeling really depressed. It was just that I didn't have enough momentum to have that productivity. Whereas now I'm in a kind of groove of sorts where I'm going to four hours of classes. I'm getting lunch.

I'm working on the podcast throughout the day. I managing six social media accounts. I'm able to keep on top of my homework and also build relationships. And somehow it's not feeling like too much. I'll keep you posted on the burnout there. But right now that momentum, that pace is okay. I am really prioritizing sleep time and bedtime and utilizing content that makes me happy and boost my mood to be able to recharge.

Because I know that if I'm not recharging, I'm going to lose the energy to be able to invest and classes, the podcast, all of these other things. So that's been classes started, that's been the schedule a couple little things to mention as far as recommendations for new students. I have found I combination of apple calendar notion and a bullet journal to be like the.

Perfect combination for me to stay organized. And on top of things I'll definitely do an Instagram post about this at some point, but I log all of my assignments for the week on notion and I can see the outline of what's due every day. My bullet journal is for me to make sure that all tasks get done, whether it's school work, going to the gym, things like that.

And my calendar is like, what times do I need to be places? Where am I going to block in time to do my laundry, et cetera. So. That's another thing that I recommend is really investing time to explore what works for you to stay organized within the first week, whether that's a paper calendar, whether it's a, an agenda, if it's an online to-do list, whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

But understanding that will truly set you up for success.

The next thing I want to mention is caffeine and staying awake. The first couple of days of new student orientation and classes, I was honestly scared because I kept falling asleep. I was constantly drowsy and I could talk to my therapist and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like I cannot stay awake.

It's not that it's not interesting. It's not that I'm not getting enough sleep. I just, I, I can't do it. And so. She had a couple of suggestions there. And the switches that I've made have been like at least two cups of coffee. If I'm tired, I'm drinking caffeine in every class

and I'm either taking copious notes or if it's a class where it's review or I've already done the homework and it's not something else, I need to learn all kinds of multitask and work on another homework or work assignment while still paying attention.

And this has been a very effective. Strategy for me to stay awake and alert in classes, not fall asleep. And I'm also not feeling like caffeine overloaded. That was something that I've always been worried about. I'm very like anxiety prone, and I didn't want to be like jittery and shaky and having my thoughts going crazy.

So I've been very like mindful of what my body is feeling like on caffeine, but having like one, did you, cups of coffee per day has been perfect.

Another thing I want to mention is walking. I'm not even kidding. When I get like upwards of 10,000 steps every day at home, I was getting like 200, not 200,000 to 200.

I was, as my app told me, living a. Sedative lifestyle. It was very bad, but you end up walking to your classes, you have to walk to lunch, you have to walk to dinner. If you're going out, you have to walk to those houses. And so it is just a very fast paced and movement prone lifestyle. I feel like that's another thing that is really helpful for your mental health is that you're outside.

You're moving. And even if you don't have time to fit in, okay, I'm going to go like on a different walk or I'm going to go to the gym. You're still getting very active and getting enough movement to where it's not like you're like, I'm literally just sitting down all day. Another thing that I really highly recommend is making time to go to the library or get work done every day.

I found that when I'm like, oh, I'll just get this done in my room. I don't get it done. Or I ended up going to bed way later. If I make an appointment to do a group study room with my roommate, normally she makes them because she's on top of that kind of stuff. And we're like, we're going to go from seven to nine.

I am getting some sort of work done from seven to nine. And that's just something that's very effective. And it also allows my room to be again, a safe space where it's not like I'm always doing homework in here. And I love that. It's one of my favorite things.

Another thing is the food. The first week we almost exclusively ate at the dining hall. There's a bunch of dining roles on campus, but there's like a couple like bigger ones, like the main dining halls. And it got grows very quickly. I think I was eating pizza for every single meal because I'm very picky.

And I was like, I don't want to eat a chunk of pork. So that was not the best set up. I definitely was a little bit nervous. I was like, is this a long-term solution? What, what am I going to eat every day? And I've started to explore different dining options, which I highly recommended.

I'm not saying go and spend like $4,000 on food every week, but see what the different dining halls are. Penn offers meal swap. So you could go to. Like this thing called Houston market, where they have a bunch of little restaurants, like a little grill, they have a bento place, they have a salad bar and you can get a meal swap where you use a meal swipe which is in your dining plan.

You can get like a salad, a drink, and a piece of fruit, or you get pizza and a drink and chips. And so. That food tends to be better and more enjoyable. And you're switching up your options more often as opposed to eating the same thing. Every day, that being said, I have found that in the morning doing like the same cup of coffee and a similar breakfast routine is really helpful to set me up for success for my morning classes.

But throughout the rest of the day, I highly recommend getting creative, switching things up for dinner. And so that you don't get like very tired and grossed out by the food.

Next piece of advice that I have is for parents or friends of people that have gone to college, which is to check in, but also give space. The kid or teen, whatever it is, is going to college. I really, really appreciated that my parents were always here to pick up the phone or ask how my day was going or answer a text, same thing with my siblings and my friends.

And there wasn't like this huge expectation of she's going to call me every night. Again, like I mentioned, my schedule has been so crazy and I'm like, I can barely even breathe. And. I don't have the energy and the output to sit on the phone with like 12 different people and update them on my day, every single day.

Not that I don't want to talk to them or that I don't miss talking to them. I'm just like exhausted. So allowing the person at college to contact you and to reach out and be like, Hey, I'm like here, if you want to talk or leave a message and be like, Hey, I'm thinking of you. Let me know how your day went without being.

Why haven't you talked to me it's been three weeks. Are you like, like not getting mad, just being empathetic and understanding of how busy their life is right now and how draining that can be and how it's difficult to continue to use energy into like these interpersonal outputs. Next thing that I want to mention is social life and building friendships and relationships. First couple of weeks of college, it's very interesting going into new student orientation. There was definitely kind of an understanding that people make friends during new student orientation, depending on like who's in your orientation group or who you happen to run into. And then you make different friends. As you get to know people in your classes and that are more likely to be in like your long-term friend group, something that I've heard, literally everyone say is to say yes to everything.

The first week of college, I like this. And I don't like. For me, I was someone who didn't go out literally every single night, the first week of orientation. And I also, if I wanted to go back early or I was tired, I respected that. And that was okay. Like it's not detrimental to your social life. You're not going to miss out on some crazy thing.

Another thing is Penn has a lot of these, like off-campus ticketed parties, whether it's at like a club or at another venue. and while some freshmen were aware of like the, you needed to buy tickets for these things, there are variables. I was not one of them was not aware of the situation.

So that was a really good example of where you could very easily get into that head space. If I have, I didn't know about this party, I'm not going to this party. I'm going to miss out on this. I'm not going to meet all these people and it's going to be a disaster for my social life or just being like, there's still 12 parties going on on campus and there'll be a party tomorrow and it's going to be okay.

And every lots of people that went to those. Parties said that they were terrible and a pipe burst and they didn't give them a refund. And it was a whole situation. So the moral of the story here is all FOMO is real. And I think that something that people are experiencing and they're feeling a lot of pressure to be social, to meet your people at the beginning of college, it's not black and white, it's not life or death and you're not, it's not the end all be all.

To go out every single night or there's going to be some giant consequence, more on socializing and my approach there. When I'm feeling up to it, I will go out and get to know people and talk people as much as possible while also respecting that I'll make them tired or I'm feeling burnt out today, or I just don't want to, or I'm sick.

Something that I've been thinking a lot about this week is my approach thus far has really been to again, build this really great Homebase. I'm building myself a foundation of an effective work schedule, a good steady schedule feeling on top of my classes and having a routine that is setting me up for success for my mental health, where I'm not constantly burnt out.

I'm not always tired. Like I'm able to get things done and be effective in those areas. Other people I've noticed are more prioritizing building those relationships, being social immediately for me, that I knew that wasn't going to work for me. I know that every single school I started at, I am initially more focused on building that foundation.

And then I really focus on building relationships and friendships, and that's been really effective for me. And so I think it's very important to be aware of what worked for you socially. And to understand that it's not going to look the same as everyone else. So you're feeling very overwhelmed.

And you need a couple of days to adjust to being at college, or did you adjust it being a new school before you start really putting yourself out there socially? That's totally normal and that's totally okay. And it's not something that you should be stressing out about or comparing yourself to others on.

So one question that I did get asked when I asked if people had questions about the first month of college was. To hear about my experience, making friends, so I've kind of covered that a good amount, but again, just like a lot of compassion for myself with understanding that you're not going to find your like best friends in the entire world, in your giant friend group that you're going to like get along with for the next four years within the first 24 hours of college.

And that's totally normal and okay. And it's a bit of an adjustment because. It's not like home where you have this great network of a support system and you have someone that you can call and like hang out every single day, it's different and you're adjusting. And so I think it's very important to set yourself up a good foundation that you can support yourself mentally, and you don't have to rely on relationships that don't exist yet.

They will exist. You will find your people, but it takes time. So if you can be those people for yourself in the short term, I think that something that is so helpful and effective as a new student going into college.

So, yeah, that is my all over the place. Advice on college recap on what's happened the past month, it felt weird to go right into interviews without kind of addressing this very large shift and change in my life and kind of talking through it with you guys and. Giving advice on what worked for me and what I found to be effective thus far.

And so, yeah, it was really important for me to sit down and do this little episode before we dive into all the amazing interviews next week and beyond.

So with that being said, I hope you enjoyed be sure to DM comment, email questions. If you have anything you want to know about Penn, about college, about the whole experience I'm going to be doing day in the life reels more often on Instagram. So be sure to follow me there@shepersistedpodcast, leave a review, share the episodes.

Follow on Instagram, all of the things grow the podcast. We love it. And yeah, I will see you guys next Friday

to recap this week's episode. I talked all about my recent move to the university of Pennsylvania. I talked about orientation, starting classes, study skills that have been working habits to set yourself up for success. Having self-compassion for yourself as you adjust to this very new overwhelming environment, building new relationships at college and what's to come within the next couple months of the podcast.

© 2020 She Persisted LLC. This podcast is copyrighted subject matter owned by She Persisted LLC and She Persisted LLC reserves all rights in and to the podcast. Any use without She Persisted LLC’s express prior written consent is prohibited.