72. Almost 30's Krista Williams on How Meditation Will Change Your Life, Body Acceptance, Experiencing Your Emotions, and Surviving Depression + Anxiety
Today I am sitting down with Krista Williams from Almost 30 for one of my all-time favorite interviews!
Almost 30: https://almost30.com/
Krista's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/
Krista's Website: http://itskrista.co/
This week's DBT Skill is Wise Mind, learn more here.
Krista and I dive into the following topics…
+ how unprocessed grief, trauma, and emotions can further depression, anxiety, and unalignment in life
+ the cognitive shift of believing that we are our emotions versus emotions are temporary feelings that are trying to tell us something that comes with age
+ how trauma work allowed Krista to increase self-compassion, develop her identity, love her inner child, improve relationships dynamics, and navigate the world through a kind and gentle lense
+ the importance of feeling emotions and connecting with others from the perspective of an empath (Krista) and being emotionally detached (Sadie)
+ exploring sobriety and substance use as a college student and why Krista chose not to drink during her healing journey
+ how achieving your goal weight doesn't equal happiness and how Krista's now practicing body acceptance
+ Krista's favorite practices that have helped her maintain her growth and continue to evolve
+ so much more!
Mentioned In The Episode…
+ Dr. Joe Dispenza's meditations
+ Tara Brach's podcast (meditation recommendation)
Episode Sponsors
🛋This week's episode is sponsored by Teen Counseling. Teen Counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network offering support with depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and more via text, talk, and video counseling. Head to teencounseling.com/shepersisted to find a therapist today!
🍓This week's episode is brought to you by Sakara. Sakara is a nutrition company that focuses on overall wellness, starting with what you eat. Use code XOSADIE at checkout for 20% your first order!
About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)
After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.
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a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!
Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host Sadie Sutton. Every Friday. I post interviews about mental health dialectical behavioral therapy and teenage life. These episodes break down my mental health journey. Teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase testimonials from individuals, including teens.
Whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve your mental fitness. This podcast is your inspiration to live a life you love and keep resisting this week on She Persisted.
Krista: None that I had a purpose that I wanted to fulfill in my life from the soul level. And that is almost there. I really just knew that there had to be another way and there had to be another option for me.
And so it was like small steps every single day. It seems like they were big because I was putting jobs. I was ending relationships, but I was taking small steps, although they were scary, but it felt like I was already at the bottom. Like I want it to die. So it's like small steps seem less scary because what was the option for me?
The option was like to go insane and just be deeply unhappy. So it was taking the small steps to. My soul calling.
Sadie: This week DBT skills wise mind, which is from the mindfulness module to explain this skill. I'm first going to talk about reasonable mind and emotion mind.
So reasonable mind is cool, rational task focused. And when you're in reasonable minds, you're ruled by facts, reason, logic, and pragmatics values and feelings are not important and are not taken into it. Emotion mind is hot mood dependent and emotion focused. When you're in emotion mind, you're ruled by your moods feelings and urges to do or say things.
Facts, reason and logic are not important. So the blend, the perfect, happy medium between these two is wise mind. This is the wisdom that's within each person. It's being able to see the value of both reason and emotion, and you're bringing the left and right brain together to find a middle path.
The skills important for making important decisions, being effective in relationships, figuring out how to cope through something that's difficult logistically or emotionally.
And living in the highest, best version of yourself. This is so relevant to mindfulness and practicing meditation, which is why it is so relevant to this week's episode. You can learn more about wise mind in today's show notes, I'll put a link to the DBT worksheet. And with that, let's dive into this week's episode.
Hello and welcome to she persisted. My name is Sadie. I'm your host. If this is your first episode that you're ever listening to welcome. I'm so glad you're here. If you've listened to many in our episode, I'm glad you're back. And I can't wait for you to hear today's episode because it's one of my favorites recently, within the past week, I did a little bit of exploring, unpacking with she persisted and did some brainstorming, rewrote my mission statement. And I wanted to share that with you guys on the podcast. And this was actually a part of something called the podcast accelerator, which is a course offered by Krista and her cohost Lindsay Krista's today's guest we'll dive into that, but it felt so timely to share this in today's episode because it was a resource created by her and so lovely coincidence. But she persisted. It's something that's constantly evolving and changing. When I started the podcast, I was still in intensive treatment. I was at therapeutic boarding school. I was recording episodes on my bedroom floor with my friends that were in treatment alongside me.
I didn't know when I was going home. I knew that I'd grown leaps and bounds and that I was no longer intensively struggling. And I wanted to share that I wanted to let other teams know that that was possible and that they could do that even as a teenager. And so two years later, things have changed a lot.
I graduated from treatment I'm two years out of that phase in my life. I lived at home for those two years, uh, with my family, which was a huge step to be able to thrive in that environment. And I just moved to college and I'm a freshman at the university of Pennsylvania. And so. Things have changed a lot with the podcast.
What started as me sharing my stories that others didn't have to go through what I went through. And so that parents would know what to look for. And friends knew how to support has now really evolved to creating a resource that I wish I had. And I noticed a lack of in the teen mental health space. So broadening.
Be offering from just my own story and what worked for me, but bringing on experts, bringing on individuals who have gone through similar journeys like Krista and sharing these tangible tricks and tips that you can use to create your life worth living as a teenager. So with that little premise, our new mission statement that we're working with as she persisted is the teen mental health podcast.
Made fourteens by a team. In each episode, Sadie MI brings you authentic, accessible, relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness expect evidence-based Teena proof, resources, coping skills, which includes lots of DVT, insights and education, and every piece of content you consume. She persisted offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.
So as you tune in today, that's the vision for sheep assisted. That's the mission statement that I'm currently living and operating within, whether you're following along on Instagram or Tik TOK, or listening to the podcast or reading the newsletter, that is the goal of she persisted. And I truly feel like that embodies the point that we're at right now.
And so I wanted to share that little update with you, and I think it's fun to share how things evolve as this is really like a real time coming of age story with both the podcast and my own mental health journey. And I think it's pretty cool. So with that being said, it's time to dive into this. Week's amazing interview. Today's guest is Krista Williams. The co-host of almost 38 chart topping podcast about lifestyle, spirituality, health, wellness, and more. They have over 400 episodes out with 30 million downloads. And it's one of my favorite podcasts to listen to. I will, of course, Lincoln in today's show notes. But I'm so excited to sit down and have this conversation with Krista.
We just related so much. In terms of our experiences with depression and anxiety at a young age, and then going through an extreme period of growth and healing, and then maintaining that progress and continuing to evolve after the fact.
So if you want to follow along with Krista after today's episode, which I highly recommend you do her Instagram is at it's Krista and her website is it's krista.co. You can listen to almost 30 on all podcast platforms. And of course, all of this will be linked in today's show notes.
So without further ado, let's dive into this interview.
Thank you so much for joining me on she persisted. So, so, so excited to have you on the show.
Krista: I'm so excited. I love this topic and I feel like when I was in college and high school, I didn't understand mental health. And I think if I did, or I was able to talk about it, it would, it changed my life.
So
Sadie: I'm excited. I completely agree with you there. So what I want to hear is your story, your evolution of sorts from where you started to, where you are now, obviously sharing so much of your journey, your growth, your wellness tips, and tricks on the podcast. So tell me about you and your, your.
Krista: Yeah. So I'm Krista Williams.
I'm one half of almost 30, which is a podcast that I started with my best friend here in LA, but I grew up in Ohio in a small town and I was always someone that was like a dreamer. I wanted to find purpose in my life. And I really, really wanted to feel like I was living for a reason. And I had meaning but in high school in Ohio that, you know, didn't really know.
Makes sense. It didn't really happen. And so I struggled in high school and in college with mental health, I had my first panic attack when I was a senior. I didn't really know what was going on. And then anxiety and depression, a lot starting in college and then through to my first job. But I'm someone that's like very spiritual.
I am someone that's very interested in philosophy and reading and. Since starting almost 30 podcasts, about six years ago, my life has completely changed. We serve millions of women all over the world and just want to support them in their evolutionary journey with all the tools and resources that I really wished I would have had when I was younger.
And I was going through my week.
Sadie: I love that. So talk to me about your experience with depression and anxiety in college. And a little bit before that, I think that's something that so many teens experience and my favorite way to describe both depression and anxiety is a spectrum of emotions like depression, super exacerbated, sadness, anxiety, super exacerbated fear.
So regardless of if you have that diagnosis, we experienced those feelings because there's there a purpose for us. And that means that we can all empathize and relate and use similar tips and tricks. Walk me through what that experience was like and what worked for you to kind of get out of that head space and, and, and get to your life worth living where you were no longer consumed.
Krista: Yeah, it took a while for sure. So I grew up in a household where my mom had struggled with depression and anxiety and suicidal tendencies. So I grew up with a lot of chaos and a lot of confusion and the mental health issues that she had. Weren't talked about as a family. It was something that was very shameful.
It was very behind closed doors and we would beg her to get help. We would beg her to get support, but we didn't really know or understand how she was feeling or what she was going through. And so that was something that really struck me where I'm like, okay, this isn't something that we should talk about.
This isn't something that you can get help on. This. Isn't something that. You can control or support yourself in. So I always remember that as a young kid. And I also remember being really little, I was probably like 10 and I would have something I would call the feeling I was super young and I would just get this feeling of depression every day.
Like at the end of the day I would call it the feeling I'm like, oh my gosh, the feeling is here. And it was like this deep loneliness, this deep sense. And I know now that was just like a lot of trauma that I had been experiencing. And as like an empath, I was really, really absorbing a lot of the chaos and sad energy that was at my house.
But in high school I started to develop anxiety and depression. Understand what was going on. But I know that when I was feeling depressed, everything looked gray and the world felt super gray and it felt super adult. I wasn't interested in anything. I couldn't really explain the sadness that I was feeling.
And then when I was anxious, I felt like. Insane. I would just have these loose thoughts that just would never leave me. And I felt like I was the only one and I felt like this was going to be my life. I felt like my life would be serious bouts of anxiety and depression. And I would just have to live that way.
I thought it was like my personality to be that way. And then in college it got a little bit worse because of drinking. So I was drinking and partying quite a bit and I would always feel like on the weekends after drinking. So much anxiety and I would feel super lonely in the evening. And so my moods and anxiety and depression was exacerbated with my drinking, with the partying, with the lack of sleep, with the poor nutrition, all of these things.
And it really came to a head when I was living in Chicago, after college, I was working at a corporate job that I thought would be amazing. I thought I would love, but I definitely didn't. And. I just felt like my anxiety was getting so bad that I wanted to end my life. And I was talking to a friend one day about how every time it felt like I woke up, I was like sad that I woke up because then I would have the loop thoughts again.
Then the anxiety would start again. Then all the, I know, want the
Sadie: same exact narrative. I got scared to sleep because if I went to sleep, I would wake up and go through it all again. Yeah. Yes.
Krista: Yeah. It's, it's so real. And I was like, you'd wake up in the morning. I'd be like, oh my God. And then it would come and you're like, oh my God, it's here.
How can I even, I can't live like this. And I knew that I had to make a change. And so for me, it was starting to meditate. It was starting to make hard decisions for myself and my life. I quit my job. I moved to New York city. I started to really learn about spirituality and meditation and now.
You know, long story short today, I really feel like I have not had a bout of anxiety and depression in so long by doing a lot of practices that we can talk about, but it's been like a really long journey to get here. And I've never felt more grateful because I know that it can be all consuming and you can really wonder why or what the point of living is when you're kind of consumed with those.
Sadie: I completely you've had such a similar experience and I think it's so interesting how versatile those emotions are, but the presentation is so different. What your age, the demographic that you're in, how it's presenting with symptoms and coping mechanisms, but the root feelings, those thoughts are so, so, so aligned.
Yeah, I think something that's really unique about experiencing depression and anxiety at such a young age and having that norm of chaos when you grow up is that you don't know anything different.
I think when you're an adult and you remember these happy times, you have a destination to work. So you're like, I can get back to this Headspace, but when you don't remember that you don't have a recollection of having the great mental foundation of having a stability that you've created for yourself.
You're really stumbling blindly, and you don't know what, you're, what you're striving for, what you're aiming for in which you're working towards. So, what were you working towards? You knew you wanted to make a change, but, but what was your goal? Was it I'm going to not feel depressed when I wake up, is it I'm going to work to manage paying it panic attacks?
What were you walking towards in your journey?
Krista: I think for me, it's really my soul, like was always talking to me. And I think when I was going through these different experiences, there was a lot of unprocessed emotion that I was dealing with. I didn't know how to process grief. Trauma. I didn't know how to process some of the emotions that I was going through at home.
So I was stuffing them in. I was numbing them, I wasn't expressing. And then it was really building up in my body and in my soul, like we need to express or we need to do something different. And when I was in Chicago and it got really, really bad, it was almost like an awakening for me where I was.
There is something that my soul is trying to tell me, and I am not listening. I'm so unhappy at my job. I'm unhappy in my relationship that I was in. I wasn't really happy with the way that I was living with drinking and partying. I felt like I wasn't using all of the gifts that I had been given. And so it was like a deep knowing, and I hope that for people listening, You can have that moment or like that clarity with universe source God, whatever it is, that's like, oh, there is something more and there is something better.
And like, there is a reason for you to continue. So I was really always, I've always known that I had a purpose that I wanted to fulfill my life from a soul level. And that is almost 30. I really just knew that there had to be another way and there had to be another option for me. And so it was like small steps every single day.
It seems like they were big because I was quitting jobs. I was ending relationships, but I was taking small steps, although they were scary, but it felt like I was already at the bottom. Like I wanted to die. So it's like the small steps seem less scary because what was the option for me? The option was like to.
Insane and just be deeply unhappy. So it was taking the small steps towards my soul calling.
Sadie: That's so interesting because for me, when I was at my lowest of lows and for me, I was backed into a corner. I went into intensive treatment at 13 years old. I'd been hospitalized four times for severe depression.
It was again, my norm. I was so young and what was scary for scarier for me. Was to leave this comfort spot of depression and sadness, because that's all I'd ever known. It was worse for me, the idea of going upwards, because that was so foreign and so unfamiliar. And I had no idea what it would look like, what it would feel like if things would get worse.
So for a really long time, I was stuck in that Headspace. And then the behavioral patterns of continuing this, these feelings of depression, of anxiety, of ineffective relationships, because that was what was normal and comforting and predictable, which is something that I think is yeah, exactly. And it totally was.
And it's, it's crazy to me now, when I think about the podcast that so much of what I talk about. Depression and anxiety and mental health. And yet my identity is so far removed from that. Whereas that was all I was, my days were made up from therapy and treatment and, and these overwhelming emotions dictated every single moment.
And so it was just so interesting. That again, how we navigate through things, different approaches when the emotions are the same.
Krista: I think it's so important because when you're younger, you think that you are your emotions, like, yeah. I'm like, I am sad. I am anxious.
I am these things. When you get older because of time and because of just, you know,
Sadie: having a little bit more develop the way or mental understanding of emotions when we get old. Exactly.
Krista: So you'll be like, oh, I've been depressed before. I've been sad, but I know that will change. And I know that I'm not always that way.
And I think if people that are younger can realize that like you are not your emotions, like they are just temporary and they're telling you something and they're there for feeling that you can get through it much better and come back to like a state of a real equilibrium. Totally.
Sadie: And that's another reason I'm so passionate about teen mental health, because not only are teens, so susceptible to eating disorders and depression and anxiety, we have the stats to prove it.
But biologically, you feel your emotions more strongly. You don't have that nuance to understand that you are not your emotions because you haven't developed to that point yet. And so when you think about that, it's like, why aren't those? Why isn't there all this education? The fourteens who are feeling his emotions so strongly without a support system that they've created for themselves and not understanding what's going on.
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So what I want to talk about is. About trauma work, then we're going to go into sobriety and then we'll touch on spirituality. But something recently that I've been kind of broadening my understanding of and becoming really aware of is how we can all benefit from trauma work my entire time in treatment two and a half years, I was so firmly believed that my depression was not a result of trauma.
It never went through big T trauma. I was like, I just am depressed for no reason. Now I'm like, okay. But I experienced extreme validation for 18 years and had this narrative that supported that. So of course I was having an emotional, traumatic little T trauma response to that. So I kind of want to talk to you about your experience with trauma work, how that shifted things for you and your mental health journey.
And, and your outlook on trauma work as a whole.
Krista: Yeah, I think the biggest turning point for me in trauma work was I went to. Week long retreat. It's called on-site it's in Nashville, Tennessee. And it is like group therapy with licensed trained therapists, psychotherapists, and you're really going deep.
And we learned about big T little T trauma. And I actually had never, I knew in my life that I had had trauma, but I always had thought it wasn't that bad. That was normal. Like I actually didn't validate any of the feelings that I had. And so learning about big T trauma and little T trauma. And so for anyone that's listening, big T trauma is like rape abuse, you know, really, really deep stuff.
And then little T trauma would be more like neglect, abandoned. That type of thing. And we've all experienced a range of traumas. You know, you can experience a lot of big T a lot of little T you can experience a mix of both. And, you know, during that time I realized I experienced big T trauma and then also little T trauma.
And it really helped me to just provide like a perspective on. Getting real about the pain that I had experienced. And I think for a lot of people that have depression and anxiety are so in the loop of like, I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm depressed, I'm anxious. And you want to get rid of the feeling so bad, but you really don't get to the root of what it could potentially be.
And I never really gave myself the time or credit or space to be like, oh, I've actually experience. These traumas, and this could be potentially leading to these feelings that I have that I'm repressing. So trauma work is really important to do with people that are safe with you. People that are licensed, maybe a therapist, whoever you want to work with, I think is really, really important because when we're doing a lot of trauma work, Very intense and there does need to be someone that's supporting you.
That's trained. And I just see this, and I'm saying this because in the space that I'm in, it's the self-development spirituality space. There can be people that are trying to do trauma work that aren't licensed or aren't. Right for that. And it actually can be very dangerous because you're at a very vulnerable state when you're doing that.
But I realized all the work that I needed to do. So during that week we did trauma therapy work together in a group. And then after that, I got a therapist that I work with now where we do EMDR and somatic therapy work. And the way that it's helped me with my traumas has helped me to understand more deeply who I am and why I'm the way that I am.
It's helped me be more compassionate for myself. It's helped me to love my inner child a lot more. It's helped me to understand certain dynamics I have in relationships with people, and it's helped me to really just navigate the world in a much kinder and gentler way. And I think the most important part of trauma work is actually the.
Seems the hardest, but it's the simplest and that's really feeling all the feelings that's like allowing yourself to access the feelings that you were experiencing during those traumatic moments that really you have stored in your body and like repeating in a pattern in your brain and let them feel them to heal them, I think is really the biggest piece.
And I was avoiding feeling for my whole life. And I think a lot of us avoid feeling because
Sadie: it concurrent work in. Understanding emotions being comfortable when other people express them. Because again, it served me to not feel my emotions because they were so strong and overwhelming for so long.
Krista: When you say I'm being comfortable in every, when other people express them, like, what do you mean when you.
Sadie: So I am very aversive to feeling my emotions because they were so strong and overwhelming. The first time that I realized I was depressed, I went to the pediatrician and immediately was put in the hospital because I was so severely numbed out to what I was experiencing to my environment. Again, my treatment journey was not normal average teenage depression.
It was huge. It was big. It was overwhelming. And I was really struggling. So it's served me very well to numb out my emotions and to not have to feel things because it keeps me safe from a relational perspective. I don't have to navigate rejection. And also it's more comfortable. I don't have to experience the extreme lows that caused me to oppression and anxiety and all of this discomfort, similar things happen when other people express emotion, you have to open yourself up.
You have to be empathetic to build relationships, to build connections. And yet that's uncomfortable because it opens you up for rejection. And it also for so long, I had a narrative that, that was a weakness to experience emotions, to show that possible connection, you could lose, that you are showing that you had something you cared about that could potentially be taken.
So being able to cultivate that empathy, that validation to experience other's emotions instead of shutting down an emotional response, because it invokes them as me as something I'm working on, because it's so important to build connections and to build healthy relationships. And although I have become very effective.
Let's put effective in quotes here with not feeling my own emotions to have true, authentic relationships and connections. You can't be shut off. You can't be closed down. That's just not how relationships work. And so that for me is the current motivator to explore those emotions and feel them, and to be able to dive into what's going on there instead of immediately just shut it.
Krista: Yeah, that's powerful. And I think that's so important for people listening. And, you know, I would add to that too, that I'm someone that if someone's feeling I match their feelings. So if someone cries, I actually automatically start crying. I, my response for people is to match their emotional level. So if they're sad, I'll be sad.
That's a codependency in a way, you know, if they're, you know, however they're feeling, I usually match it. And so I've actually had to do work. Pull myself away from that and let people have their own experience or their own emotions and not involve my energy in their experience. So I think it's important that people open up to compassion, to empathy, but also making sure that they recognize their emotional boundaries and not taking on anyone else's feelings as their own.
Sadie: Yeah, so I want to dive next into talking about sobriety. I think this is such an interesting conversation to address as a young adult, as a college student, because it's so integrated into culture at college and somewhat in high school as well. And I think that it's a. Sobriety as a whole is a nuance that many young adults and college students haven't gotten to that point in their life.
They're barely emotionally processing what they're going through, let alone having that level of awareness. So I kind of want to talk about your experience coming to that awareness, realizing that implementing that might be helpful for you. What was ineffective about. Substance use in college because I think that's something that a lot of people aren't aware of.
They don't know what to look for because it's again their norm. And then kind of the shifts that you made and how that impacted your life.
Krista: Yeah. This is like one of my favorite questions. I love it. This is one of my favorite things. And, you know, in college I would have been like, oh my gosh, not possible.
I would have been like, that is not possible for me. And I didn't get sober. I'm not really sober, sober. I just don't choose to drink when I, until I was in. After college. But I remember specifically in college talking to my friends on the phone and being like, okay, so now I just have to get so drunk that I like don't remember the night because I wasn't having fun.
Like, I wouldn't be having fun in the environments that I was in. So I would need alcohol to like, have fun, to be interesting, to feel comfortable. And I just remember thinking that I'm like, oh, this is like really sad. I have to use this thing and I have to feel this way to feel like I'm fitting in or connecting with people.
And there was times in my college experience where like, I would see my friends and myself get so drunk that it was like almost alarming where you're like, wow, that looks really bad. Like that person is not like that. Normally I'm not like that. Normally, you know, I'm the. I just felt like I would see people and it would alarm me at how, like they looked and I wasn't being judgemental, but I'm like, wow, they don't act or speak that way when they're sober.
So I knew that there was something about it that I didn't feel good about. And I would try and find every situation to not drink as much as I could. And I would only drink hard alcohol because it was like faster. Like I was like, oh, I just go, I'm sober. I'm wasted. I wasn't really like casually drinking.
And then I got out of college and I was living in Chicago and I remember. There was a series of events where one time I was on top of a bar, I fell off the bar. I had to go get stitches. And then there was another night where I was with friends and I don't remember the night and the next morning I had a friend see me and she's like, do you remember seeing me last night?
And I was like, no, no. And she's like, and the look of horror on her face. I could tell that she thought I looked like unwell and I was like, whoa, this is like, if I think about how I want to show up in the world, I don't want to be someone that looks. Drunk all the time looks gross. Like I just wasn't really feeling it.
And then in Chicago, I wasn't making that much money. So I was also thinking too, I'm like, Hmm, I'm spending like $200, $300 a month on alcohol. I don't really have this money. I'd rather have clothes. I'd rather buy something else. And so I was like, oh, it also like saved me money. So when I started my spiritual journey, I started to meditate.
I was like, you know what, I'm going to cut out alcohol for a little bit and just sort of like focus on me. And it really just. Turned into something that I did for about five or six years. And then now I'll have like a drink every couple of months. But I noticed so much, it was probably the greatest catalyst for the success I have in my life today.
I was spending my weekends, not hung over, not on the couch, not watching shitty TV, not eating crappy food. I was actually taking care of my body. I was investing in myself. I was investing in my relationships. And I was taking my life seriously. And I think that for so many of us, we don't think that we matter.
And we don't think that our life matters and we don't think our decisions matter. And so we don't take our lives seriously. And when I made the decision to stop drinking, I started to take myself seriously and prioritize myself. And that meant whenever people were asking, I would just be like, yeah, I'm not drinking right now.
I would drink soda, water. I would just kind of like be strong in my convictions and my boundaries about what I was doing. And of course people thought it was weird. They thought it was odd, but they would always come to me later and be like, oh my God, I've wanted to do. How are you feeling like I've always wanted to do that?
What's going on? And it changed my life. I saved money. I looked better. I felt better. I slept better. My relationships became better. I was able to really find a purpose in my life. And I really think stopping drinking was huge with.
Sadie: this week's podcast episode is sponsored by teen counseling. Teen counseling is an online therapy program with over 14,000 licensed therapists in their network. They offer support on things like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and more. You know that Kristin, I just talked about how important it was to get professional support when navigating things like trauma, depression, anxiety, body image, all of these things.
And that's exactly what teen counseling does. What you do is you go to their website, you fill out a secure survey about what you're hoping to work on in therapy, whether that's decreasing stress related to school, improving your relationships, navigating feelings of depression, anxiety, whatever it is you want to focus on, they match you with a professional that can help support you there.
They send a super discreet email to your parents. Don't worry. I tried it. I sent it to myself. All it says is that Sadie or your child wants to talk to a licensed counselor on teen counseling.com.
They can then click a link to learn more about teen counseling and give consent for treatment. From there you meet with a professional counselor via video talk or text. So head to teencounseling.com/shepersisted to find a therapist that fits your needs today. Again, that's teen counseling.com/she persisted. Did you have moments where you reverted back to those feelings where you're like, I won't have fun or this won't be a successful night, or I wish that I was acting this way and I had a drink to kind of get me to that point.
Did you have those moments after you chose to give up alcohol?
Krista: I did a little bit, but I felt like. I could still kind of play the game. I would definitely go home early. I could still play the game and have fun and be out with friends, but it was just becoming so clear to me that like, people look stupid when they drink.
Like you have to wait in line for a drink. People just slur their
Sadie: speech. And this is there when you're sober, you don't notice it if you're with people, but you're like, wow, this is a completely different environment. Yes.
Krista: I, and I'm someone that likes to get deep. I'm like very, a deep person and I'm like, oh my God, we, no, one's even talking to one another.
Like I just, once you see what drinking does to people and how it's a toxin and all of these things, it's hard to unsee. So I definitely had moments that were harder than others, but. I would even just like get soda water and just be like, oh yeah, I'm drinking. And, and act like I was, even though I wasn't.
Sadie: Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk a little bit about body image because you've been so open with that and your journey there and how that impacted your mental health and your journey. Because I think these things are all connected. I had the same experience when I was really struggling and out of love. My body image, my self esteem, obviously my depression, my anxiety, all of these things kind of collapsed.
It's it's all connected. And then when you're on the other end and you start improving your relationship and your mood, these things improve as well. So talk to me about that journey, that part of your, your evolution.
Krista: Yeah, that one's huge. I still, I still work on and struggle with that today. Having like a healthy body image and having like body acceptance.
I think for me, most of my life was like, I tied my body to like my happiness, where I was like, okay, if I look good, I will feel. And I will be happy and I would just try my whole life. I was like, okay, maybe if I lose weight, I'll be happier. Maybe if I look like this, I'll be happier. You know? And I thought, honestly, in my head that it was mostly related to how I was looking and when I was living in New York city.
So after Chicago, I moved to New York city, I got down to the smallest weight I'd ever been. I was like below my goal weight in my head. And I remember sitting there and I was like, oh my God, I am not happier. I could not believe it. I was like, I'm five pounds below my goal dream. You know, we all have those dreams, stupid goal weights, and I was not any happier.
And it blew my mind. I was like, oh my God, it's all a trap. It's all a lie. It never ends. Like, it never truly ends. You know, I'm really thankful that when I hear a message or when something's very clear for me, it's easy for me to act because I understand. And that was it. I was like, oh wow, this actually isn't tied to my body at all.
The mental health is completely irrelevant to how I'm feeling with my body, but it's a really hard thing to untangle because when you look at every message from the media online, it's basically telling you that. Being thin or being pretty is happiness. I mean, look at every advertisement we see. If you look at every Instagram model or celebrity.
Most of them are thin and pretty. And we perceive them all to be happy and rich and successful and all of these things. So it's a really deep thing to untangle, but the work that I've done now has been around body acceptance. And that's with my therapist, that's through journaling, that's through books that I've read that I really love.
And that's really learning so much of like the beauty in me that exists outside of what I look like. And I think as you get older, I'm excited for you to get older. Cause it gets a lot easier when you're older and you're not. Those environments like college, where it's like in your face. Totally. I
Sadie: completely agree there.
We've touched a lot of different points on spirituality and really understanding your higher purpose and how much that's tied to your mental health and, and life like living your life worth living.
So I want to hear about your spirituality journey, where you started while you're at now and the different practices that you implement to kind of maintain that.
Krista: Yes, this is my favorite thing and I think. For someone that doesn't have a spirituality practice, I'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
And sometimes it's like the way that I like to describe it is that we go through our days and there's always a voice in our head. That's like, oh, go here. Do this. Talk to them. Oh, I think they're talking about me. Oh, I feel good in the situation. I don't. So we always have our inner voice. We always have ourself, our soul in our body, communicating with us through all of our days.
Like that is like who we are at our core. And spirituality has been like the thing that has like really just provided like a sense of calm and a foundation for my life to know that. I matter to know that I'm here for a reason to know that I'm, I'm supported on the other side to know that if I ask for help, I can receive it from God source, universe, whatever.
But it started with meditation. So it started with making the hard decision to stop drinking, you know, drinking. Just like really, it's hard to get clear on, on your life when you're drinking, when you're tired, when you're overwhelmed, when you're anxious, when you feel like shit, it's very hard to hear your inner voice because your body's really just trying to recover from all the poison it's been drinking.
So once I started that, I was really able to hear my inner voice and my soul. And then meditation was really the thing, you know, you can meditate on. It's really easy. And I learned to meditate and that was what really took my spirituality to the next level. So much that I could hear the call to move to New York and find my husband and then find almost 30.
It's really been that connection to like my intuition. That's helped me to build an amazing life that I love.
Sadie: So when you say meditation, is it guided meditation? Are you sitting and reflecting without a guide? What.
Krista: Yeah. So I actually do TM. So TM is like a type of meditation, but I also now do Joe Dispenza's meditation.
You can find them on YouTube or you can buy them from his website, Tara Brock. She has a podcast and she does meditations on her podcast. She's one of my favorite meditation teachers. She's like super calming and peaceful. And then there's also a bunch of apps people can use. But I think I get the most.
Profound information when I'm meditating alone in silence and I'm sitting up straight, I'm super quiet. I'm super calm. I'm holding crystal. Sometimes I feel like that's when I can hear the sound of my voice, I'll get really clear on what's going on in my head because in meditation, of course, it's like best if you're clearing your mind as much as you can and focus on one singular thing, but it'll also tell you a lot about like, what's going on in your head and what sort of things.
You're thinking about consistently that needs your attention, because if we're going from podcasts to meeting to YouTube, to Instagram, to friends, to all of this stuff, we're not really giving ourselves time to think the thoughts that we want to process or we want to go through. So maybe you're thinking about this one friend, you had a weird conversation with a week ago in your meditation.
You might need to spend some time and attention on that in your waking life. That could help support your mental health in the future because you're taking care of things that you're consistently thinking about, like an open tab in your brain. So I like to do it silent is best, but I think just whatever practice that you can make work for your life, whether it's five minutes or 20 minutes is most important and meditation will change your life more than anything.
I know that people say it all the time and it's like super cliche, but it is so.
Sadie: That is something that I've wanting to improve my skill set on. I did something called DBT, which stands for dialectical behavioral therapy and it's an evidence-based treatment that was originally developed for adults with borderline personality disorder.
But now there's dozens of studies with the effectiveness for our kids, struggling with depression, anxiety, eating. So many different things and a key pillar to that is mindfulness. And whether it's being nonjudgmental of your current thoughts, it's being present. It's being aware of what's going on around you.
And it's interesting because when I first started DBT and I first started treatment, being mindful, being present and meditating on my current thoughts and emotions was something that was either very traumatic or was not even possible because the current reality of thoughts and emotions was again, so overwhelming and so powerful.
And so at that point, when you're in survival mode, doing things like meditation, exploring your deep trauma work, exploring. Belief systems again, when you're barely surviving, is it something that's possible, but I really do see it as a common thread in people's journeys. Over time after they've healed and gotten out of initial survival mode, being able to truly reflect and look back on their intuition, using mindfulness, meditation, whatever it is is so powerful.
That's something I'm also currently working on and trying to improve upon.
Krista: Love that. And also, yeah, I think with meditation, it's always like, people are like, oh my God, I'm bad at it. I'm I saw I should be better. It's like, Sometimes I'll meditate. I'll sit down and I'll literally think about people that are annoying me for 20 minutes.
Sometimes I'll sit down and I'll literally go tomorrow. I feel so relaxed and I feel so connected. So it's just the practice of coming back to yourself and continuing to like, try that matters. It's not so much like the experience that you have. Yeah.
Sadie: It's the consistency and that's true for literally every single thing.
So I want to dive last topic that we'll kind of get into is more purpose, professional. Life-based. You've talked about how that was. Crucial in your journey was leaving your corporate job, finding a work and a passion. That was what you were meant to be doing. And so I kind of want to talk about your, your philosophy there on finding what you're doing to make sure it's within your purpose, just tips for professional growth and really investing in that because you guys do so much in the podcast world to share, share your expertise there.
So I just kind of wanted to dive into that a little bit.
Krista: Yeah. So I was someone that wanted to have a purpose. I've always known that there was like something for me that I was created, who I was for a reason that I would live a life that was different. And so when I was in the corporate world for eight years, I was really unhappy.
It wasn't for me. And I was successful. I had different jobs and consulting, digital marketing events. I was getting promoted, but I was really unhappy. I did it like a lot of the stuff that goes on in the corporate world. Like I didn't like the politics. I didn't like that we had to like be at our desks.
Even if we weren't working. There was some parts of me that like the rebel part of me that just couldn't. Handle it. I was like, oh my God, this is why are we doing this? If this is not truthful, because I'm like such a, a real person. So I just made it my commitment to try as many things as possible. So I had a travel company, I was blogging.
I did photography. I had a bunch of different little businesses inside households and I was really just figuring out what thing I really loved. And. Almost 30 happened, probably like the sixth thing that I tried, maybe the fifth to really make happen. And it ended up being the thing that I loved, but I just tell anyone who's looking for their purpose and their passion to find what they are naturally good at.
So think about the skills that you naturally have that people compliment you for, or that you might not even realize are your gifts and skills, and then figure out what you're passionate about. For me, I'm an amazing listener. I'm an amazing question. Asker. I've always been my whole life. It's actually because of my trauma, that made me a great listener and question asker.
And I've always been someone that is really interested in learning. So knowing that I love to podcasts, I love to learn. I love all these things. It would make sense that almost 30 would be a fit for me. So for anyone listening to get really clear on what your gifts are, what your abilities are, what you love, and then just start to do it on a daily basis.
Lindsay and I did it every single day. Seven months before we launched the show, we were practicing every single day. And then eventually it grew from our closet floors to where it is. So we just kept showing up for it, even when we didn't know if it was going to make us money or make sense or be our thing, because we deeply loved it.
And we wanted to explore this thing that we love. So I believe that everyone has a purpose. Everyone has something that they're here to do. Whether it's even being a nurse or being in a corporate job, that's totally fine. But to feel like you're in alignment with your life and feel like what you're doing feels good to you and feels like makes you feel like you matter, I think is really.
Sadie: And it directly impacts your mental health. I don't know if you're familiar with Hari's work, but he talks so much about the depression and suicide rates of people that feel fulfilled and happy and that they are helping a greater good in their job. Even if they're paper pushers and filling out paperwork every day.
Versus people that feel like they're not getting anywhere, there's not any movement happening and they don't love what they're doing. There's a huge, huge, huge, different in depression, anxiety, and suicide rates there. And it's, it's fascinating. I want to go deep to wrap up on your different practices that you implement, whether it's habits you have every day, whether it's thought processes or mantras, you repeat, we talked about meditation, but really what you've taken away from all of this growth and that you now use to maintain that, that growth and that stability that you've created.
Krista: Yeah. Just, you know, I think it's been probably. 10 years, you know, along the journey. So it's not something that happens overnight. Even a few months ago, I was like, oh my God, I'm depressed. I was like, feel it. I was like, wow, I'm depressed. I hadn't felt like that in so long. And I was like, I was describing how I was feeling to my therapist.
And she's like, I think you're depressed. I'm like, oh my God damn buddy. I literally was like, wow, that's such an interesting thing because I don't identify with it anymore. It's never fully settled. We always change and grow, but what's helped me first was quitting drinking. So even if you explore that, it's a depressant that really helped.
I also believe that meditation was like huge show, practicing meditating, trying to meditate on a daily basis, being mindful of their relationships with people I had in my life. I feel like. I was hanging out with people that didn't necessarily support me and my greatest expression or support me as like the best version of myself.
I think that they were people that would gossip, they would talk bad. They were interested in very vain and superficial things, and I was hanging out with them. So I have every responsibility that I was acting that way too, but I wanted to
Sadie: explore it may help to realize that that was not what you aligned with.
Krista: Exactly. So taking a look at your friends and making sure that they're people that you feel inspired by, that you feel love you, that you feel like you feel supported by. And then it was making really hard decisions, you know, quitting my job and going to, I went to Patagonia. I traveled for like a month and then I moved to New York with my now husband, who I barely knew.
So I was doing all these things that everyone on the outside thought I was literally losing my mind. They're like, oh, she's quitting her job. She's traveling. And she's moving away with some man. But they were what my soul wanted and they were what my anxiety had been leading me to do. So when we're following our heart and we are going against the norm to feel good about our life, you will have to make really hard decisions to value yourself.
That might not make sense to people, but just know that like your number one affinity or loyalty to is yourself and your soul over anyone else because everyone else has. Their projections, their ideals. They want you to do this. They want you to live here. They want you to be with this person because they assume that will make you happy, but only, you know, what's going to make you happy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sadie: It's crazy to me every single time I think about it, that we compare our emotions, our traumas, our thoughts to other people, because we will never, ever, ever experience their emotions, thoughts or traumas. It's like that saying where it's like, it's my world, you're just living in it. And it's like a very vain, bad sag, but it really is.
Why would you ever compare their perspective from their different life experiences to yours? Because it's just, you can't compare them. And I think that's so, so, so true. Well, thank you so, so much for sitting down with me and sharing so much insight and authenticity, and I really, really appreciate you coming on the podcast and joining me for this center.
Thank you so much. I'm so glad to connect with your audience because this is such a meaningful topic. If you skip to the end and I talked all about how unprocessed grief, trauma, and emotions can further depression and anxiety, and unalignment in life, the cognitive shift of believing that we are our emotions for.
Emotions are temporary feelings that are trying to tell us something and how that realization comes with age. We talked about how trauma work allowed Krista to increase feelings of self-compassion develop her identity, love her inner child, improve relationship dynamics and navigate the world three kind and gentle.
We dove into the importance of feeling emotions and connecting with others from the perspective of an empath Chris's perspective and being a little bit emotionally detached sometimes, which is my perspective. We also talked about exploring sobriety and substance use as a college student or as a young adult.
And why Krista chose not to drink during her healing journey, how achieving your goal weight doesn't necessarily equal happiness and how Chris has now practicing body acceptance and lastly, Christus favorite practices that helped her maintain her growth and continue to. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please, please, please share it with someone you think it would resonate with help in their journey and provide some inspiration, education, insight, all of those things as always.
I love seeing guys listening to sheep resisted. So if you share on Instagram, I'll be sure to repost and give you a little shout out. And with that, I'll see you next Friday.
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