116. Lindsey Simcik on Being Okay with Being Single, Using Discipline to Find Freedom, Thriving in the Chaos of College

Oct 6

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Today's guest is Lindsey Simcik—the co-host of Almost 30 and Morning Microdose! Almost 30 is a top 50 lifestyle, wellness, and spirituality podcast, with events all over the world, digital courses and workshops, and a community of millions that proves we are not alone. (adapted from almost30.com) Lindsey and I discuss her wisdom for young adults at the beginning of their journies, tips to mitigate anxiety long-term, using movement to maintain your mental health, advice for navigating the chaotic season that is college, using discipline to have more freedom in your life, and being okay with being single in high school and college.

Lindsey's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindseysimcik/?hl=en

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🗳️ This week's episode is sponsored by Do Something. You have the power to elect officials who are committed to protecting young people and their communities. It takes 2 mins to make sure you're heard by registering to vote: https://www.dosomething.org/us/vote/shepersisted!

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

[00:00:00] Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host. Sadie Sutton a 19 year old from the bay area, studying psychology at the university of Pennsylvania. She Persisted is the teen mental health podcast made for teenagers by a team. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness you can expect.

[00:00:20] Evidence-based teen proved resources, coping skills, including lots of DBT insights and education. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

[00:00:37] So let's dive in.

[00:00:40] Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of She Persisted. Today's episode is a really fun interview with Lindsay Simsek from almost 30, if you're not familiar with almost 30. . It is one of the top 50 lifestyle, wellness and spirituality podcasts. They have events all over the world, digital courses, workshops, and a community of millions that proves that we are not alone.

[00:01:04] One of my favorite courses that they offer is the Podcast Pro Course. They teach you not only at to launch a podcast, but how to grow and monetize, and I did their growth and monetization version of the course about a year ago, and I just saw so many shifts in not only. My podcast analytics and press, and I was on the Apple Podcast homepage for like three months straight, but also how I view the podcast and I've streamlined the processes that go on in my end to bring you guys better content and, and get amazing guests like Lindsay.

[00:01:36] So if you guys wanna check out. Podcast Pro. The link will be in the show notes, and I'm the worst. I release this episode after they finished accepting applications for the growth and monetization course, but you can try and submit it. Don't know if it'll work, but they also have a ton of free resources on their website teaching you how to grow, monetize, pitch guests, all that kind of stuff.

[00:01:57] So in today's episode, Lindsay and I discussed so many things about her advice for young adults that are beginning their journeys. We talk about being single. We talk about tips to thrive in college, even though it can be a really chaotic season of life and using discipline to have more freedom in your life.

[00:02:15] So this is just one of my favorite conversations. I, I loved sitting down with Lindsay almost a year since I sat down with Krista, who is the almost 30 co-host. And yeah, it's a, it's an amazing conversation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

[00:02:28] And as always, if you enjoyed this week's episode, make sure to subscribe, leave, review an Apple podcast and Spotify. If you share it on Instagram, I'll make sure to repost and give you a shout out. But thank you guys so much for listening. It means the world to me and I really hope you enjoy this conversation.

[00:02:45] So let's dive.

[00:02:47] Thank you so much for joining me today, and she persisted. I'm so excited to have you on the show.

[00:02:52] Oh,

[00:02:52] Lindsey: I'm so excited to be here. I mean, I feel like this has been a long time coming and when we met you, I was just so taken aback by the mission that you're on with this brand and Your own personal experience is one that I just feel like is helping so many young people and something that I really wish I had when I.

[00:03:14] A teen, late teen, early twenties.

[00:03:17] Sadie: I love that. And I remember I recorded with Christa before doing your Podcast Pro, before I enrolled in that, and now we're almost a year out of that. And things have just shifted so much. I feel like I've stepped into the whole podcast thing so much more. Really started to take it more seriously, getting so much clarity on my mission and where I want to go with it.

[00:03:38] And so it's a really cool full circle moment to do the second part of this little collab almost a year from when that came out.

[00:03:45] Lindsey: So wild time is very weird, right? And you can get, it's going by and you can get so much done, you know, and you've just, Yeah, you've grown so, Proud of you.

[00:03:55] Sadie: Yeah. So I have so many things to ask you.

[00:03:58] If this was just a conversation, I'd like pick your brain about so many podcast things, but for the non podcasters, we have a lot to dive into about your journey. You mentioned how you wish you had this insight and, and would've known these things when you were a teen. I'd love to start there.

[00:04:13] You've done so much growth and personal development and had the ability to just explore so much in that wellness and self-improvement field. What are the things that you wish you would've known, the reminders you wish you would've heard as a young adult, teenager before you stepped into this journey?

[00:04:33] Lindsey: Yeah. If I think about myself when I was in my teens, let's say like 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, you know, and those in those years I was an incredibly sensitive. Person. I still am. I think we all are. Yeah. To be honest. But I didn't understand what I was feeling. When it was really intense, so I didn't realize that I had anxiety in certain social situations and certain relationships.

[00:05:04] I didn't realize that I was so sensitive that I was picking up on other people's emotions and not being able to discern whether they were mine or someone else's. And so that really. That sensitivity, I think, can be such a superpower, but we have to be aware of what the powers actually are, and so.

[00:05:30] I wish I would've known that so much of what I was feeling and picking up on was not my own. And that I didn't have to take on other people's emotions and feelings and experiences. I didn't have to manage their experience of me or even just of their own life. But I think from a young age, that was just something that I thought I had to do.

[00:05:52] I'm the oldest of four kids. Me too. No way. Oh my. So you probably have a little bit of this too. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's just like the, the caregiver, like the second mom, you know? And you know, I would've loved to have a little more of an energetic boundary between me and other people. It doesn't mean that I close my heart or I, you know, distance myself from people, but it's more so the awareness of like the energetics.

[00:06:21] And so, I say that because, you know, I, I, I feel like I'm just now in my thirties really identifying some of the trapped emotions within me. That, whether it's I picked up from other people or were passed on to me ancestrally That have been blocking me in big and small ways. So timing is perfect on all of our healing.

[00:06:46] I never regret like not knowing these things in that time because I wouldn't be here where I am now experiencing what I am. If I didn't have that unaware back then yeah. But. It would've, it would've been nice to know what was actually happening rather than have the anxiety really run un like be the undercurrent of my every day and not know how to manage it.

[00:07:12] What

[00:07:12] Sadie: have you learned regarding managing those feelings of anxiety? I like the stability phase is obviously different from like working through the anxiety, processing it, unpacking it, but now what are the things that you do to improve that baseline and not have that undercurrent of like stress and overwhelm and being highly aware of everything?

[00:07:34] Lindsey: Yeah, I mean, I think there will always be anxiety, you know, it will live at different levels in my life, but I have my practices and the connection to my body in in particular that really help me to Be with the anxiety and then dissolve it as best I can. So an example of that, I tend to feel my anxiousness first in my body.

[00:08:00] Like, you know, my heart will start racing or I feel queasy or my, my mind starts racing or I get a headache. And so I have just a simple practice of placing my hands on my body anytime I feel those very intense sensations. and I just have a little inner dialogue with myself where it's like, okay, like you're okay and what do you need in this moment?

[00:08:26] And sometimes it's to shake it out. Sometimes it's to give my fiance a hug. Sometimes it's to eat like really nourishing food and watch like a show that I love. So we have to have that inner dialogue constantly and that relationship creates this trust between you and your soul, so your human self and your soul.

[00:08:50] And I believe it's that relationship that really mitigates the anxiety because your soul your higher self, who you really are. Knows what's true. And often anxiety is based in whether it's thoughts that are not necessarily true or accurate or they are based in perceptions of your experience that aren't necessarily true to who you are.

[00:09:14] So. I feel like there's a little wooooo in there, but there's also that just simple practice of laying hands on the body. I also love breath. I feel like breath is such a powerful regulator of your nervous, nervous system and could absolutely que anxiety in the moment. I do breath work, which is a more intense practice, but you can just take deep breaths into the belly, fill up the heart space, and then really let it go.

[00:09:41] Take five to 10 of those and just notice the difference. And then finally, therapy. You know, I've been going to therapy for about four years now, and so this is my safe space that I know I will have every other week to properly process with another person who is unbiased, who has known me for quite some time now, and gives me the gift of perspective every single week.

[00:10:08] Also gives me the gift of really like, Telling, like reminding me how far I've come, you know, cuz with all of this work on ourselves, it can be so arduous. It can be so overwhelming at times and we could forget how far we've come. So that often helps my anxiety to decrease because I'm like, wow. A year ago, I would've been so much more anxious about this and look at me now, you know?

[00:10:36] Sadie: Yeah, no, I love that. And I really had the appreciating how far you've come has really been something that's been coming a lot for up a lot for me lately. And then also remembering that even if you have come so far, you can still keep improving. I think especially with self-esteem work, that's been a big thing where maybe I'm like at like.

[00:10:58] I feel like whatever the equivalent of self-esteem is for like body neutrality, but like self-esteem neutrality and I'm like, this is like so far from where I used to be with like self hatred and just so much like just despising myself and having all these negative belief systems. So now being in a neutral place, it's like, well this is amazing.

[00:11:18] Like this is great. And then remembering like it can still improve. You can move past that place of neutrality. . It's a hard dialectic because part of it is like it's the journey's never over. You're constantly improving. There's always more you can do and there's so much that you've already done and you've come so far.

[00:11:37] And so it's kind of appreciating both of those things depending on what emotions are coming up.

[00:11:41] Lindsey: Yes. Oh, absolutely. I think that's, that's the thing with so many things. It's like we gotta be present enough to give ourself kudos and just really enjoy where we're at. And you know, that balance of taking inspired action and growing and progressing more.

[00:11:58] Sadie: So I wanna talk about like movement, mental health, exercise. You touched on that a little bit as one of your practices that you incorporate before almost 30, you were a Soul Cycle instructor, which I've only done soul cycle a handful of times, but every time you do it, it's like very inspiring. The, the messages that are being said or very positive, it's like, be present in this moment.

[00:12:20] It's mental health related. Was using like exercise as an outlet for whatever you were going through? Something that came naturally or was that something that you learned to do that, a practice that you improved over time? Talk to me about that.

[00:12:35] Lindsey: Yeah, I've always been really active. I was an athlete as a kid, whether it was like soccer or tennis, swimming.

[00:12:42] So I don't know if I knew or were, was conscious of the power of moving my body, but it certainly was a form of expression for me that felt really, really good. And so, I've, I've really held that close throughout different periods in my life. I mean, I remember, it's so weird to say this, I don't even have a trainer now, but I had a trainer in high school and it wasn't like, kind of like

[00:13:11] Sadie: an obsessed middle school going with my mom, like having mental breakdown.

[00:13:14] She's like, Maybe if you work out with the trainer once a week, that'll help. Like go and do my boxing didn't really help that much, but I was loving it.

[00:13:23] Lindsey: It's just so fascinating. I'm like, I had a trainer like so interesting. I wasn't even like a intense athlete, like I was an athlete, but

[00:13:31] Sadie: they're telling me to do 10 lunges.

[00:13:33] Yeah. Literally.

[00:13:34] Lindsey: Yes. I got it. Hilarious. But you know, I think from an early age I felt very in my body, right? And I definitely went through different periods of judging my body and wanting to look and feel different than I was. , but I always had like a baseline appreciation for my body. So I always wanted, for the most part to nourish my body and move my body in ways that felt good.

[00:14:03] And I, I, during my early twenties into mid twenties, I just had a period of kind of like unconscious behavior. College sometimes does that to you where there's just so much stimulus like. You have to, you're going to classes, you're like maintaining this crazy workload, but then you also wanna maintain a crazy social life.

[00:14:25] A lot of people like me were drinking and partying and yeah, just kind of not treating our bodies well. And so I really had to swing so far in that direction and that kind of bled into my years in New York where I was like drinking a ton. I was working in the bar to bars, I was. Not getting enough rest.

[00:14:43] I was eating like crap, and I got to the point where I was just, Feeling so terrible within my body and I, I knew that it didn't have to be that way. And so long story short, that was kind of the point of which I found Soul Cycle to really bring me relief cuz I was working so much and I was like, Oh this could be a great way to start my day.

[00:15:03] It could wake me up cuz I was working till 4:00 AM so I would go in the morning. I could

[00:15:07] Sadie: barely afford. You would go in the morning after working until 4:00 AM Yeah,

[00:15:12] Lindsey: I know. Not too early. Like I would go at like an. 9 30, 8 30 or nine 30. But still it was like, it was a lot. Really pretty, Yeah. . And so, you know, I.

[00:15:26] I really, I really found or remembered that I love expressing myself through my body because in Soul Cycle you're riding to the beat of the music. So it's like you're dancing on a bike and I'm like, Oh my God, this feels so good. And I got better and better would ride the front row. And then eventually the instructors were like, You can, like, why don't you hop on the podium, You can ride for me.

[00:15:47] And I'm like, Great, cuz I can't afford this class anyway. So , I'll get a free class. Yeah. I would literally like choose between. Dinner and or soul cycle. It was kind of crazy. But eventually I, I auditioned because I was encouraged by some of the instructors. I was like, No, I can't, Like I don't have time.

[00:16:02] I'm working so much and I'm just trying to survive here in New York. Yeah. But I did it and they're like, What's the worst thing that can happen? I was like, Okay, okay, I'll do it. And I made it and it was a 10 week intense training program every single day for five hours. Like it was. It was quite a bit of work and focus and.

[00:16:24] but for me, I was activating parts of myself that were dormant. You know, that part of me that loved moving my body, that part of me that loved expressing through music, that part of me that loved performing. Cuz part of Soul Cycle is a little bit of a performance, is holding the attention of the room.

[00:16:43] That part of me that loves community and leading and. I also just met new parts of myself through the process and Soul Cycle itself is you know, at its core, such a, has such a beautiful mission and I really loved my time there. I was there for four and a half years and, and really it was a place where people could come move their bodies, really either get lost or find themselves in this musical experience and be led.

[00:17:11] Not only by the instructor, but by the energy of the room and by themselves. You know, there's, there's this inner dialogue that can inevitably happen when you're moving your body like that, that. Past the mind, you know, like you're gonna, the, the mind's gonna start chirping in the beginning, but then you start to move your body and you're in this physical intensity and all of a sudden there's some downloads that start to drop in.

[00:17:35] And that's what SoulCycle was for me, was this portal to so much clarity. And I just, you know, I wanted to hopefully offer that to people that came and took, took my

[00:17:45] Sadie: class. I love that, and I love what you mentioned there about that shift from high school to college, which is something I've heard so many people speak to and struggle with and bring up is something that they notice, which is you go from having this very structured experience in high school, which you're like, Oh, this is so annoying.

[00:18:01] I have to be in school from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM Then I've have extracurriculars and family dinner and then homework, and then I'm going to bed. And then you go to college and you have all of these commitments like you mentioned, but you also have so much free time and no one telling you what to do. And it's up to you to decide what's a priority, what's not.

[00:18:18] How are you gonna structure your day? And a lot of people notice that when you're not forced to do these things, like get up in the morning, have somewhere to be, exercise for the sport you're in. See your friends at the club. You join at lunch after school, have that dedicated time where you have to do your homework.

[00:18:34] Cuz if you don't do it, then it's not getting done, going to bed at a certain time because if you don't, you're just not gonna be able to get up and do it all over again the next day. And when you get to college, that's not there. It, it can be very overwhelming to have to recreate that structure for yourself.

[00:18:49] And you build an appreciation for how helpful all of those habits are for your mental health and how that structure is, is crucial. And, and maintaining. Your mental health and your wellness and any kind of momentum to get through the semester?

[00:19:04] Lindsey: Oh yeah. I mean, I had no idea what I was walking into in college.

[00:19:10] Yeah. And while I had quite a. A full schedule. You're right. That free time is really interesting. It's like, like even

[00:19:18] Sadie: just being in your room by yourself at night and not in your family household. Yeah. Like what is, Whoa, this is new.

[00:19:24] Lindsey: Totally. It's totally new. You're living in a box. It's like in like a concrete, weird box.

[00:19:30] Sadie: That Penn, they're. Built in like the 16 hundreds. You're like, Okay, this is happening. Oh my gosh, Philadelphia, there's shots going off. You're like, Okay.

[00:19:39] Lindsey: Mm-hmm. . Yeah. It's intense. It's really intense. And I don't, Yeah, I don't know. I didn't, I didn't really seek support during my freshman sophomore year.

[00:19:49] I didn't know I needed it, but like, I think we all need it during our college years. Oh my goodness. Like even in high school, I feel like, There is absolutely not enough mental health support and resources for really supporting people in these transitions. Like if I would've had maybe on campus mentor, maybe someone in their senior year to.

[00:20:11] Guide me through and be like, Hey, listen, like your class load is gonna feel crazy for a semester. Like, here's what I did. Let me recommend this. Or make sure you build in times where you can truly rest, like no going out, but truly rest. I think that would've helped me so much. Mentorship is, What I'm learning is so, so key during those transitional periods of your life.

[00:20:35] Sadie: I feel like that's something that's really been honed in by sororities and fraternities and Greek life and there's like, there's two sides of that coin there in that it's brings so much stress and, and mental health. And when I went through the rush process, I remember. We had did second semester rush, but I got dropped from almost all the sororities and there was like two left.

[00:20:54] And I was like, I don't see myself wanting to be in these. And so it's like there's the whole stressful part of that part. But what you're saying, the person to guide you through things, that structure of having a big, having a. Sophomore, junior, a whole community of girls you can rely on that are like, Okay, these are the parties you go to and these are the classes you should be in, and here's the group chat to ask for someone's number or questions about a quiz or an exam or what class to take.

[00:21:22] And unless you go and seek out that as something you wanna be a part of, it's not built into the school system. And like at Penn, they. Always emphasize, and I wanna say it's like 15% of people are in Greek life. You have a lot of people that aren't. So you have to seek out either that mentorship and find that individually or intentionally join some kind of community that provides that.

[00:21:45] Or you're really just on your own. You shouldn't be expected to know the answers yourself. You've never done this before. It's a completely new world. But I really do think that's something that's not emphasized enough in college because just asking a parent or an aunt or uncle, like. What's your advice for college?

[00:21:59] It's not enough. There are so many things that are beneficial to get support on that you would never even think of. Like I never would've known, like walk around to your classrooms the day before classes because some buildings are so confusing, you're never gonna be able to find them. or like, there's just so many little things like that where like this Starbucks takes dining dollars, this one doesn't.

[00:22:20] Yes. Or like little thing or like this cafeteria is so bad, never eat there. Whereas this one is amazing . So it's like all these little things that you do need support and I think we're told like everyone does it, you should just be able to get through it and. , it's part of growing up, but there, that mentorship, that support is something that can make that transition so much smoother and less stressful.

[00:22:43] Lindsey: Yes, I completely agree. And there's just, there's so many layers of things happening. Yeah. You know, and so to set ourselves up for success academically, you know, at least like all of these other things really need to be made easier and more clear. And so I can, Yeah. I completely. .

[00:23:04] Sadie: today's episode is brought to you by Do Something. Do Something. Is the National Hub for Youth Centered Activism and is aiming to register 30,000 new eligible voters this election season with restrictive voting laws at an all time high.

[00:23:18] Registering and voting this November is not only important for our democracy, but also for our mental. Democracy is an important tool in your mental health toolkit to make an impact on societal issues that you care about that might be causing anxiety and other stress. It's also an amazing way to make legislative shifts to access to mental healthcare and resources. Do something as educating people to know that the first step in creating systematic change is being civilly engaged. Young people have the power to claim our democracy, working collectively to take action on the issues that matter most to us, like climate change, social justice, and mental health.

[00:23:50] This election season in particular, young people have the potential to impact dozens of key elections across the nation, in states like Arizona, Florida, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Where I live, I will be voting each of these states have Senate and governor races where young people have the highest likelihood to influence results. Also for my college students, if you go to college in a swing state, like for me, I'm from California, but I go to school in Pennsylvania, so I'll be voting in Pennsylvania. So start today and register to vote. It takes two minutes and all you need is your current address. That's literally all.

[00:24:22] So you can text Sadie to 3 8 3 83. Again, that is s A D i E to 3 8 3 83, or use the link in today's show notes. It takes two minutes. You just need your address and you can make a huge impact in our collective society.

[00:24:37] So one thing that you, we kind of touched on a little bit, but I've heard you say before is the idea of using discipline to have more freedom, which sounds counterintuitive, but I completely agree with you there.

[00:24:49] It's very, it's very true and it's something that I learned during intensive treatment because they have you on this structure and it's so that your mental health can thrive and you feel less overwhelmed and. Taken over by your emotions and, and all these different things. So talk to me about that piece of your journey and process.

[00:25:07] Lindsey: Yeah, so I, I've always considered myself, you know, a creative, a free spirit, and I'm like, I don't thrive in structure. Like artists don't thrive in structure. We need open fields and just like,

[00:25:20] Sadie: not this type a, the, to your list. Yeah.

[00:25:24] Lindsey: Yeah. I don't know where I picked that up, but What's been really important for me to realize is the structure and the flow that my creativity requires and that my wellbeing requires.

[00:25:36] And so, you know, it changes regularly what that looks like, but I try to inc. Great structure and flow into my every day. And that could look like having a really structured morning routine from the moment that I wake up where I'm waking up, no phone, I go and make my coffee. I sit down to read and then meditate.

[00:26:01] Or maybe I'm taking a long walk and listening to Abraham Hicks and like programming my brain for the day and feeling good or being out in nature and really having that routine for about two hours. Workout can be included in that. And then after that sometimes I'll have like a period of like an hour or two before I start the West Coast work day because most of our team is on the West Coast.

[00:26:26] An hour or two where it is. My own flow. Oftentimes I will sit down and sing and write music and just kind of be in that flow without a goal of like, Okay, I'm gonna write a song right now, or, Okay, I'm gonna finish this thing. It's just like, let's allow whatever's meant to come through, come through, let's capture it.

[00:26:47] Let's just be here. And let's be satisfied that we allow ourselves to flow through that. And then I'll go into my more structured work day where I have a to-do list and I have a schedule and I have all that stuff. And then in the evening, I allow myself to flow again where I am making dinner for me and my fiance.

[00:27:05] I might sit down to watch the Kardashians. I might sit down to read. I might call my mom to catch up. Like I just kind of allow myself to fly. I might take an evening. To like help my food digest. I allow myself to flow. So what I realized is that I built trust in myself through the structured moments.

[00:27:24] I was productive in those structured moments. I Just felt more confident after I committed to those more structured moments. And then the flow felt so good. The flow also felt supported by those structured moments. So we think of like a river flowing through a river bed where there's structured kind of sides of the river, keeping it in a certain flow.

[00:27:49] And we need that. So everyone's, you know, structure, flow template is going to be different and it might change and allow it to change. That's part of the.

[00:28:01] Sadie: I love that. And I, I mean, we know that having a sense of purpose and commitment is very important for mental health. Like if anyone just woke up and was like, I have nothing to do today.

[00:28:12] I have no people I need to spend time with or check in on, or No job to show up for. It's very difficult to feel good because it's like, what do you accomplishing? Who are you impacting? What, what is the reason? And, and we love a good vacation. We love just like sitting all day and doing nothing. But there's also that, that importance of feeling like there's, there's a reason why you're waking up every day and going through the motions and doing all these things.

[00:28:36] And I think while there is that innate sense of purpose, that, and those passions that you feel, having that structure allows you to follow through on. And build mastery and be consistent. And that brings such a great sense of pride and makes your purpose very measurable. And you're like, this is what I have to show for these passions that I have.

[00:28:55] And I think that just brings it to a whole new level beyond just feeling that innate sense of purpose. Like, I wanna help people or I wanna share a story, whatever it is. And, and that structure allows you to do that in addition to just helping you feel, feel better on the day to.

[00:29:09] Lindsey: Yes. What has been your one, one piece of structure that you've implemented?

[00:29:15] Sadie: There are so many different things. I mean, there's things for school, there are things for the podcast. I think just on a day today, I would say getting up and having a cup of coffee every single morning. It's like the first immediate reason to like get out of bed at something that I initially immediately enjoy.

[00:29:32] And no matter like what I have going on for the day, it's a staple. It's something I can rely on. It's something that I go to bed like looking forward to. It's, it's a basic, it's something so simple, but it's something that I really enjoy that's consistent no matter where I am or who I'm with and all of the things going on.

[00:29:48] And then there's little things, like every single week a new episode goes up and I have to edit and they're, I like go through my inbox and those little, I'm like very type A. So all those little things bring me joy or tech checking things off my to-do list or seeing what's coming up on my calendar. It makes me feel like I'm like going somewhere and things are getting done, and there's also that balance of not feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.

[00:30:10] So I'm very aware of how I'm feeling, but having those goals that keep coming up is very encouraging to me. Rather than being like, Oh, I have this big project that I wanna get done, or I have to finish a semester of classes. This smaller goals are a lot more appealing and motivating.

[00:30:24] Lindsey: Yes, a hundred percent.

[00:30:27] I was just thinking, I'm like, did I have a calendar in college? You

[00:30:31] Sadie: didn't use. That's my used to. Eddie would listening.

[00:30:33] Lindsey: Right? I mean, holy moly. What did I do? Like maybe I had like a handheld planner, but I'm like, did I didn't have like Google Calendar

[00:30:42] Sadie: or anything like that. Now I don't know anyone that doesn't have either Google Calendar or Apple Calendar because like even just knowing the locations of your classes, they change some days of the week.

[00:30:52] You're never gonna. You're not even gonna be able to show up to the classes lo I know. Stay on top of the syllabus and the readings. All that's so crazy. It's a lot like that in itself should be a class that's taught like how, how to get for your classes and remember the things you have to do.

[00:31:09] Lindsey: That should be, that should be a mandatory class of just like, yeah.

[00:31:13] Organization optimization for first year college students.

[00:31:17] Sadie: Yeah. Yeah. And like not just like in what the therapeutic boarding school I went to, we had the most cheesy, annoying, I hated it. It was an executive functioning class. They'd be like, This is how to set a smart goal. And I was like, I do a bullet journal.

[00:31:31] I have straight A's I know how to do my planner. Can I please not take this class? And they were like, No, it's very important. And I was like, I cannot do this. But there are certain aspects of that that I wish I would've known, like right out. Every single assignment in the syllabus, put it on your calendar at the beginning of the semester.

[00:31:48] Yeah, saves yourself time. So smart. You know what the schedule is. Write down the exams. Put in your calendar a week before, start thinking about it. Start studying, start study, group chat and exposing myself for anyone who's going into college and looking for a recommendation for planner. I'm a little bit crazy.

[00:32:06] My Apple calendar for the day to day hours, like when I have to beat classes. When I have meetings, and then for day to day, like big tasks that are coming up, like if there's a homework assignment that's due, if a podcast episode is going up, if I have a work commitment, it's either a sauna.

[00:32:22] Or notion. And then the day today I do a bullet journal, and that's been a huge thing for me because during intensive treatment, I relied so heavily on a diary card to track my emotions and the skills I was using and my mood. And so now I do that, like I do a little mood tracker, and I do like a habit tracker with like, am I exercising?

[00:32:44] Am I sleeping seven hours? Am I doing my morning and night routine? And then also just like the little task because if I don't write something down, I just don't remember it. It's unfortunate, but that's how it works. So yes, the three different systems going, but I stay on top of things. .

[00:32:58] Lindsey: Amazing. Yeah. I mean, you sound, I need to hire you to kind of like organize my life.

[00:33:03] Sadie: I, I can do my best. It's also funny though, because I feel like the way I organize things, it makes sense in my head, but anyone else would pick the, the same task is on three different things. Like does it really need to be checked off three times and I'm like, the reinforcement is part of it. Okay. A hundred.

[00:33:19] Even reinforcement. But yeah. The last thing that I wanna touch on and kind of get your perspective on is be the seasons of being single. I think that's a pressure that a lot of teens, young adults feel because there is this message, like having your first relationships in high school and college and understanding your, your love languages and how you interact with people and having those first relationships.

[00:33:43] and seeing your friends go through that, there can be a lot of pressure to also be in a relationship. And then if you're not, if you're single, I don't feel like it's as positive messaging whether that's like on social media or just kind of as a culture in high school and college. And you've spoken so much about that, those in between periods and finding yourself and how that is just as important as being in a relationship.

[00:34:05] So I'd love to kind of hear your thoughts there. Especially as you think back about your high school college years and what you were learning before you like kind of realized that there it is part of the process. It is part of the journey.

[00:34:17] Lindsey: Definitely. Yeah, I, I had my first serious relationship when I was a senior in high school.

[00:34:23] I went to an all girls school, so I dated this guy who was at the All boys school.

[00:34:27] Sadie: Were you Sistered brother? Schools

[00:34:29] Lindsey: kind of, We were like the loser school. There's no wrong golf school. That was like cooler. But I, you know, I thought that we were gonna be together forever as you do. Yeah. You know, like that's your high school sweetheart.

[00:34:42] And I'm so grateful for that relationship cuz it was super healthy and You know, I, I loved him at the time and it was just like, really beautiful. We broke up when we went to college and that was sad. And, you know, I just didn't know how to process things properly. And I longed for him, He longed for me, but like ultimately we went our separate ways.

[00:35:02] And then I had a co college sweetheart starting. Oh man, like later sophomore year. So basically for half of college I had a serious boyfriend and a few years out of college and I thought he was gonna be the one. Yeah. And you know what I learned through that relationship because There, like we were talking about earlier, there's so many layers of experience in college.

[00:35:25] Yeah. Oh my goodness. So many layers. And there's no time to really get to know yourself. There's no time, at least for me, there was no time to really center myself and know who I was. I was constantly seeking, I was seeking validation. I. Seeking experiences. I was seeking to, you know, make the most of my time in college.

[00:35:45] I was seeking to numb out, you know, like all these things. And within that relationship after college, I just felt as growing apart. And it, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to communicate, how I felt, and so I acted out and I cheated on him. And it was just such a, I'd say full, full, full, full responsibility.

[00:36:07] But at the time it felt like a very much out of body experience where I was like just blowing up this relationship that I thought was gonna be the one and I wasn't giving it any chance of maybe improving or if nothing else, like ending it. Kindly and consciously. Yeah. But, you know, my soul kind of took me on this journey of cheating and betrayal and, you know, feeling so low and so ashamed, and that really kicked off my seven years of being single, which I didn't know was gonna happen.

[00:36:41] But man, it was the most transformative years of my life. The first half of those seven years was spent. You know, dating a ton, going out chasing after the wrong people. It's interesting because during that time, I actually met my current fiance. I met him at 25, and I remember when I met him feeling like, woo.

[00:37:05] He's different. Yeah. And then immediately my mind was like, Oh no, no, no. You don't know. Like you can't be with someone like that. You can't be with someone like that cuz they like you. They really like you. Like they see you, they really see you. You need to chase it after someone who like has like barely time for you, doesn't know what they want because then that makes you look good because you're such a nice person.

[00:37:31] and I did that for many years and then, I didn't swear off dating, but I was like, You know what? I'm just, I'm gonna like turn towards myself and I'm gonna really focus on enjoying being with myself. And I didn't always enjoy it. I went through some tough periods of being like, This sucks. Like it sucks being alone.

[00:37:50] Like, I don't like spending Friday nights with myself. But eventually all of those stories about being alone and being single and being by myself. Exhausted themselves and the truth came forward, which was like, I love myself. I love hanging out with myself. I love the person I'm becoming and these moments of, of stillness with myself and doing things that I would normally do, maybe with the boyfriend or with someone on a date I'm doing with myself.

[00:38:19] And it feels so special and it's so sacred. And. What happened was that I got to a point where I was like, Well, if I never meet someone, I think I'm gonna be okay. You know, like I, I, I think I'm gonna be okay. I continue to just date, but I didn't put a ton of pressure. I was more open than ever. My heart was open and I started to meet people that would show me what.

[00:38:49] I really deserved, you know, so in little bits and pieces like, oh man, I love how he asks me questions. I love how he's so curious. Oh, I love how thoughtful he is. Or I love, you know, I just got this information about, Wow, that feels good. That feels great. My heart likes that. And eventually, you know, while many of those people obviously weren't my person, , I held on to those feelings.

[00:39:16] And so when Sean came back into my life, I was in deep relationship with myself. I was no longer settling for really anything. And I just knew the moment we reconnected, he didn't know. But I was like, Oh, this is it. I was like, This is it, you know? And it just felt like peace. Yeah. And that's what I would say to your listeners, is that the right relationship?

[00:39:42] Should not feel chaotic. The right relationship doesn't bring you anxiety for a majority of the time. You know, the right relationship should bring you peace should bring you comfort and security. Doesn't mean it's gonna be perfect. There will be growth points and it will be hard at times, but the right relationship, you really wanna commit to the growth.

[00:40:05] And you're like, I'm. We're gonna grow through this. I don't know if we're gonna stay together forever, but I am here and willing to grow through this with you. And we have to be very, very, very discerning about those things. And if you're feeling like, Hmm, this just doesn't feel right, or, you know what I, I believe I deserve better than how I'm being treated it 100% deserves a conversation with the other person expressing how you're feeling, or it deserves to be let go.

[00:40:34] There is no use in settling for anything less than what you deserve because that person is out there. But the seeking and the searching, I highly recommend just directing that towards yourself because that's what becomes the magnet for the relationships that you wanna

[00:40:50] Sadie: have. Do you wish that you would've.

[00:40:54] Like going into college or even in the middle of college, been like, I am gonna set aside time. I'm gonna make it a priority to find myself and sit with myself more than you did. Going through that experience initially.

[00:41:06] Lindsey: Yeah, sure. You know, like for sure it would've been nice, but. , you know, if it would've been different than where I am now, might have been different to, Yeah.

[00:41:16] You know what I mean? But yes, absolutely. So if I'm talking to your listeners and y'all are in college or around that age, Absolutely. Just like that scheduling we were talking about before on that structure schedule in that time where maybe you're going out on a date with yourself, maybe you just take yourself out to dinner or maybe you go on a farmer's market day and go on a walk and be in nature.

[00:41:39] Or you just have like a night in and you're with yourself and you're cooking and you're quiet, and it's that consistency of that practice that I believe really holds the vibration of what you want,

[00:41:53] Sadie: you know, because, and it's a smoother transition after college because you can count on yourself to still give yourself that time, have those commitments, and that's not gonna change.

[00:42:02] Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I love that. And I think there's so much of a narrative around college being the best four years of your life, and I think. That can also mean really finding yourself and using those four years to really understand who you are and what you want and what you're passionate about and what your goals are in addition to having the fun and being with your friends and being independent for the first time.

[00:42:29] And I think if you really do lean into yourself and learn more about yourself, that'll serve you so well in the long term. Great. In addition to the memories. Oh, great. I love that. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. If listeners want to continue to consume your content, there are courses, there are websites, there are podcast episodes, all the things.

[00:42:52] Where can they find you?

[00:42:54] Lindsey: Yes, so I am at Lindsay Simsek on Instagram. Feel free to DM me. I am one half of the almost 30 podcast, so if you're looking for a podcast, I think it would be super supportive in this. Just season of your life. And you don't have to be 30 , you don't have to be 30 baby. It's called almost 30.

[00:43:12] And then I do a program that is going to become an evergreen offering. So you can do it at any time. It's called the sacredness of Being Single. So for those of you out there that are in that season, I really wanna help and support and guide you to the most transformational season of.

[00:43:27] Sadie: I love that.

[00:43:28] Well, thank you again for joining me today. I am so glad we got to have this conversation and I know so many listeners are gonna find it so meaningful and so helpful.

[00:43:37] Lindsey: Oh, well, thank you for having me. I'm so proud of you and so honored to be on a show that is so deeply rooted in helping people, you know, on their path especially in their mental health.

[00:43:49] It's, you know, we need it more than ever. Yeah.

[00:43:52] Sadie: Okay. Awesome.

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