117. How I Get the Most Out of Therapy + Feel Seen in Sessions - SOLO EP

Oct 17

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Today's solo episode is all about optimizing your therapy appointments! I reflected on my 7 years of therapy and my experiences working with almost as many therapists to give you all my best tips to get the most out of your sessions! I talk about setting an agenda for your sessions, using a diary card, tracking your coping skills, celebrating your growth, setting tangible weekly goals (+ following up on them), getting support between appointments, navigating switching therapists, and challenging yourself to be vulnerable!

Mentioned In The Episode…

+ Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

+ Bullet Journal Flip Through

+ Notion Habit Tracker

+ Habit Tracker App

SHOP GUEST RECOMMENDATIONS: https://amzn.to/3A69GOC

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About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

[00:00:00] Sadie: Welcome to she persisted. I'm your host. Sadie Sutton a 19 year old from the bay area, studying psychology at the university of Pennsylvania. She Persisted is the teen mental health podcast made for teenagers by a team. In each episode, I'll bring you authentic, accessible, and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental wellness you can expect.

[00:00:20] Evidence-based teen proved resources, coping skills, including lots of DBT insights and education. Each piece of content you consume, she persisted offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle while encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.

[00:00:37] So let's dive in.

[00:00:41] Hello. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of She Persisted. I am so excited you're here today. I did an Instagram poll on what you guys wanted to hear for this week's episode, and there was a tie between ways to optimize your therapy sessions and habits for mental health. So this week is going to be optimizing your therapy sessions and then in a couple weeks I will do a solo episode all about the habits that I use to maintain and improve my mental health.

[00:01:10] So I'm really excited for this. I hope you guys like it as well. I've really have been loving the solo episodes and really been trying to do more. So I hope you guys are enjoying these deep dives into all of these mental health topics and things that worked for me in my journey. So optimizing your therapy sessions.

[00:01:27] I wanna start by saying, this is completely subjective. This is what has worked in my experience and might not work for you. Also, there are many different types of therapy. What I'm mainly referencing here is like once a week, twice a week, individual therapy. My background in therapy is in dialectical behavioral therapy, family therapy, individual therapy.

[00:01:51] I've worked with marriage and family therapists in the past. I have done some just like individual therapy once a week without really like a modality necessarily, and here and there some other psycho. But my favorite type of therapy to do is individual therapy in the context of D B T.

[00:02:11] So using A D B T informed or a D B T trained therapist, meaning once, twice a week, one, every other week, whatever the frequency is. And this is what I found to be the most effective and helpful for me. And if you're not familiar with D B T, DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. And why I really like it is that there's none of this like abstract.

[00:02:31] Like, Well, what do you think, ? Because I'm always like, if I knew the answer, I wouldn't be here. Like, I wouldn't be asking, I wouldn't need your help. Like I come to therapy for, for more advice and more support and more answers. So what I love about D B T is that there's a lot of skills that are implemented and used. So if you are in therapy and you're like, I keep having so much conflict with my parents and I really want to ask them for this one thing, whether it's like a privilege or. What, whatever it is. I feel like that's something I came into therapy session so many times asking about a D B T therapist will be like, All right, so let's, dear man this like, this is, let's talk about how you can ask effectively.

[00:03:12] What if you tried saying this or have you tried this wave approaching the conversation. It's none of this like super abstract, like it's very concrete. You come in with an issue. I feel like I leave my sessions with a plan. At least that's how I structure them. With that context here, if you're like, I'm, if I'm listing examples and you're like, This has never been how my therapy sessions have ever gone.

[00:03:36] I'm talking about kind of like D B T type therapy. So maybe you could give that a try if you haven't before, and this sounds helpful. So the first thing that I want to touch on is before you even get to your therapy sessions, If you were meeting with your therapist once a week, my advice would be to, throughout the week, whenever you have any big emotions arise, if you have any behaviors, pop up, if you have any conflicts occur.

[00:04:00] And then also if you have anything that comes to mind, like I feel like examples would be for like, Oh, I really didn't like that thought pattern, or that belief system, or, I feel like I'm really struggling with ruminating. Topic this week. Write that down, whether it's in a notes app, whether it's on your phone, don't trust yourself to remember it, because in my experience I always forget.

[00:04:22] And then come to your session with those topics prepared. Even if your session goes elsewhere and you end up talking about your belief systems or childhood experience or whatever it is you at least know going into the session, what you. Like to touch on so you can leave the session. If you touch on at least one of those things, feeling like you, you went into therapy, you covered the topics that you want to, and you, you've gotten your needs met because I feel like the worst thing.

[00:04:50] My experience is going into a therapy session, not having any idea what you want to talk about, and leaving and feeling like. I just feel like the therapist didn't understand what I wanted to talk about. I feel like we didn't touch on what was important. I don't feel prepared to navigate things coming up in the coming week, or I feel more stressed.

[00:05:09] I feel more misunderstood. So a really great way to problem solve that is to come into your session with topics. Prepared and make a plan and be really intentional. And I, I really like the idea of recording these items throughout the week rather than just like five minutes before your session being like, Oh, I'd like to talk about like reparenting or meditating more. But when you have this practice of preparing for your session throughout the week, and you're consistently struggling with those things every single week or every single month, whether it's like a conflict or a belief system or a behavior, you're able to go into the next week feeling like you know how to navigate those things. Where some of these like bigger, more abstract topics might not.

[00:05:53] Get triggered within the next seven days, if that makes sense. So that's my first piece of, of advice is to always go to therapy with some idea of what you wanna talk about, even if it's just one thing. And it's pretty vague because then you don't end up in that situation where you're both sitting there and you're like, I don't know.

[00:06:10] I don't have any meaning to talk about. Like that's for me, I feel like one of the worst experiences and hopefully your therapist will like guide you through. Different things you could talk about or ask you how your week went, but going in prepared really helps me feel like I've gotten my needs met and helps me feel like I've covered when I wanted to.

[00:06:29] It helps me feel supported and really effective in therapy. So the next thing that I wanna touch on is also something that you do the week before therapy, and that is tracking or using a diary card. So in D B T, they use diary cards. And what this is, is it's like they are not cute, but it's like almost a Google sheet, but it's a bunch of tables and every single day you're tracking your urges, you're tracking your levels of like depression or anxiety.

[00:06:58] You're tracking what levels of different emotions. Experience of shame, anger, guilt, joy, all of these different things. And then you're tracking your skills usage. So was I mindful, Did I use opposite action? Was I, did I practice some gratitude? All of these little things, and you customize it. So if you struggle with anxiety, but you don't struggle with depression, you'd be tracking the intensity of anxiety or different anxiety related behaviors.

[00:07:23] And diary cards are great because they force you on a daily basis to not only be mindful of what you're experiencing and being like, Oh, today actually was a little bit challenging, and I'm just route now, like realizing that and giving myself a moment to process that. But it's a daily reminder to use your skills, and I found that since I've been out of the immediate D B T realm, Although I use my skills, especially when things are difficult, it's nowhere near the level of skills usage that I used when once a day I was like, Okay, did I use opposite action?

[00:07:59] Yes or no? Did I use mindfulness skills? Yes or no? Now, the way that I track it is I'm like, used skills, yes or no. I always give myself a check on that one even. I mean, we're using skills all the time. It's, it's a nice little freebie on the habit. But when you have all skills listed in front of you and you're looking at a nightly basis, I would always do it at night.

[00:08:20] It's a really great reminder to implement those skills and use those skills and remember what's in your toolbox. You guys have heard me say so many different times that mental health is all about like preventative work and , learning the skills before you need to use them.

[00:08:36] Because in the moment when you're in crisis and overwhelmed and not able to think logically, the idea of being like, Let me sort through these 60 different skills I've learned, and should I be using deep breathing? Should I be asking for help? Should I be calling a hotline? Should I be dunking my face in ice water?

[00:08:52] Like for me, that like, that's just having more stress. It's adding ignor anxiety to the situ. And you also forget a lot of them. There have been so many times where I've been overwhelmed or stressed or anxious, and if I was not in emotionally heightened state, I'd be like, Oh, that skill would probably be really effective there.

[00:09:10] But when you're in that moment, you just completely forget that like, Oh, square breathing would probably be good here. Or I could do an ice dive, or I'm, Let me go on a walk. Let me take a run. Let me, Listen to music really loudly to distract myself. Like your ability to comprehend what is in your toolbox is just so skewed at that moment.

[00:09:31] So having a diary card to remind you of what your skills are, not only that you know, but the ones you're trying to practice and improve your ability with is a really amazing, effective thing. And it's great in in improving your toolbox of skills and getting better at using your. So that is what a diary card is.

[00:09:49] And the reason I recommend this is because when you bring it to session, at least in my experiences, your therapist will look over it. And it's funny because I remember I used to just like hand it to my therapist and now at least in the past like two years, I'll just like kind of walk my therapist through it and that means I'm, she's like, Okay, like, so how was your sleep this week?

[00:10:08] And I'm like, Well, I wrote here that I took naps on these days. Or like, how was your. Goal for your bedtime, and it was like, Okay, I did it on these days, but not this. And so it's a great way to start the session and give your therapist an accurate picture of how the week went. And then also we talked about setting priorities for session.

[00:10:28] If you're like, I'm at a loss, like I don't even know what to talk about, but like, this is how my week went, it's a great way for your therapist to be like, Oh, you were like feeling a lot of shame on Tuesday. What happened on Tuesday? And be like, Oh my gosh, I actually had this terrible interaction with a friend and I just.

[00:10:43] Felt so like embarrassed and awful and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that is another reason why diary cards are great or tracking is that you can use them to be like a great jumping off point for what to cover in your sessions. I also wanna mention here, I talked about what a diary card is, but my use of tracking and diary cards has really evolved since I started D B T.

[00:11:04] I've always been a big bullet journaler. If you don't know what a bullet journal is, it's like the best journal ever, in my opinion. If you're not artistic or creative, you're gonna hate it, but it's like a blank notebook and you create your planner, and I love it because I can customize it to exactly what I need in a planner and what I want, and it means that it can be the catchall for tracking my mental health and getting my creativity out, and also having.

[00:11:29] A planner to stay on top of all my schoolwork and extracurriculars and appointments and all of the things. But there are a lot of different ways that you can track your habits. You could use a diary card on a piece of paper. Like I mentioned, I found that there was a bit of a barrier in being consistent with my diary card because I wa wasn't gonna pull out this like really comprehensive spreadsheet in math class and track my suicidal ideation or anxiety for the day. But if I was already writing in a planner and I was like, Okay, but I might not pull my planner out again.

[00:12:01] I could just like color in my little boxes for, okay, I use my skills today and I got up by 8:00 AM and I went to bed by. 1:00 AM last night, so I'll check those off. So that was a way that I could really integrate it into my lifestyle and things that I was already doing. It made it a lot easier. To have it integrated in a planner.

[00:12:22] If you are not someone who likes a physical planner, there are other options. There are a lot of really great habit trackers on Notion, if you've ever heard of Notion. So you like check boxes every day. You can make one in Google Sheets. There are apps for habit trackers where you set up your habits in the morning.

[00:12:38] So if you're like, I want to make my bed, and then I don't know, like tongues scrape. I feel like that's what I always see in people's habit Checkers for the morning. And then I want to drink water, and then I want to make sure that I'm eating breakfast before school and whatever it is, you can put that in an app and like assign times to it.

[00:12:59] And you can also like set yourself a reminder or notification to fill out my tracker and you can also make that skills. So rather than being like, I'm gonna drink eight ounces of water first thing when I get. you would be like, I am going to use a little bit of mindfulness and then I am going to make sure that I am trying to improve my relationship with my family by saying hi to them in the morning telling them they have a good day, or I hope they have a good day, whatever it is.

[00:13:23] So an app is another route to go. Really whatever I think you're already using, whether it's like a digital planner, a physical one, or you or someone who does like having like, Pieces of paper and sheets to track that way, I feel like that will, you'll be most likely to utilize a tracker that's already integrated into your way of functioning.

[00:13:43] So if your therapist is like, I think that using a tracker, a diary card would be really great. You can be like, Okay, awesome. It works really well for me. If I use a Google Sheet or I really like Notion to set up my assignments, can I put a habit tracker on there as well? And I'm sure your therapist will say yes.

[00:14:00] It became one of my favorite things. Every single week to show my therapist my weekly spreads. And I remember one time she was like, You know, I posted on like the D B T like list thing about how you use your diary cards that maybe other clients can use it as well. And I was like, Oh, I love it. So if you are using a diary card or another form of tracker to track her mental health other than like the basic diary card, let me know because I would love to hear what works for you and then share it with other people because it might be helpful.

[00:14:29] Two days. Episode is brought to you by Waveform Social. I have a new podcast marketing agency called Waveform Social, and we offer web design and development, social media, and full digital marketing for podcasts.

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[00:15:31] The last thing that I wanna mention about diary cards is, Not only are they a great way to decide what you're gonna talk about and recap the week, but long term it is an amazing way to see how much you've grown. When I look back, I don't still have, they're somewhere. I do have the diary cards and actually I did a bullet journal flip through before I started this school year's bullet journal, and I remember looking through and seeing like my emotion track.

[00:15:58] Every single day I was like at a one or a two out of 10, or my anxiety, it was like four panic attacks in one day, or, oh, I struggled with, I'm engaging in this behavior again. All of these different things that were present in that like era of my mental health. And then I look at my planners now and my habit trackers and I'm like, My goal is to get in more steps and I want to make sure that I am getting dinner with friends and being like preemptive about my studying.

[00:16:30] So I'm doing a little bit every day instead of procrastinating until the last minute. And the shift of what I'm focusing on and what I'm b able to put my mental energy into is just insane to see. And it, it's a great way. Give yourself like a little pat on the back and be like, Wow, I'm really proud of me.

[00:16:45] This is really cool. I've made a lot of progress, and while mentally I can be like, Oh, I was so depressed at that point, or I was struggling so much. To really see the numbers and see the shifts over time is really, really cool. So if you are like, I don't feel like I'm seeing things changing. Starting to track the skills you're using and the emotions that are coming up and the behaviors you're engaging in can be a really great way to see that progress because if anything, I guarantee you're gonna get better at using your skills.

[00:17:15] You're gonna be using your skills more often, even if you haven't seen that shift in your emotions, thoughts, et cetera. So that's another reason why I love diary cards and tracking. The next thing that I wanna talk about is setting tangible goals for the week. Throughout a therapy session, and this has been pretty consistent for a couple years at this point, whenever we talk about a topic, so maybe I'm like, I am just really struggling to stick to my bedtime goal.

[00:17:46] I'm like, I know that I function so much better if I am in bed and trying to fall asleep by 1:00 AM but I just cannot do it. For some reason this week I'm struggling. I find myself. Watching TV or scrolling on TikTok until like two or three, and then I'm exhausted, and then I feel like I can't wake up and then I'm sluggish in class.

[00:18:03] Whatever it. Say, bring that to a therapy session. I talk about it and likely your therapist or you will suggest like a goal for the week. So maybe it's like, okay, what if you put your phone on your desk and you only let yourself read in bed? Or what if you set an alarm for 10:00 PM and you're like, I'm gonna start my bedtime routine.

[00:18:25] Now you set another alarm for 12, or you're like, I'm. Be off my phone. And then at one you set another like little reminder like, I need to be in bed by this point, like checking to make sure I'm asleep or checking to make sure I'm trying to fall asleep. Maybe you don't wanna set an alarm for that. Maybe a little bit earlier being like checking to make sure I'm getting into bed.

[00:18:45] I. If you suggest that or your therapist suggest that, write that down. Leaving a session with like two to three things that you're gonna focus on is a great way to make sure that you are following through on the intentions that you're setting in therapy. It's a great way to feel like you are seeing changes that you're actually trying things outside of session rather than just being like, Okay, I.

[00:19:10] Talked about this thing that was giving me stress for an hour this week, but then I left therapy and didn't do anything about it, and now I'm back here again complaining and being like, Why isn't this shifting? So setting those goals and writing them down in the middle of session, whenever they come up again, I go back to like, if I don't write it down immediately, I'm going to forget.

[00:19:29] And so I'll pull out my phone notes app, or I'll write it down on my bullet journal and be like, Okay. Goal set alarms to remind myself to stay on track with my bedtime routine. And I, like I said, I try to aim for two or three, two or three of those, and they, there are so many different versions of these goals that I've had over the years.

[00:19:47] Some of them will be like, I'm going to practice calling and asking for help one time this week. So I would call my therapist and check in and be like, Hi. Just practicing calling you so that next time I'm in crisis, I feel more comfortable asking for help. Or I would be like, I'm going to remember it one time.

[00:20:03] I was really, really struggling to be consistent with working out. I could not. Do it. Obviously I could, but I was really, really struggling. My therapist was like, Okay, here's what you're gonna do. Your goal is to do five jumping jacks every day, and I just want you to work on building that. Have it like, that's all because you can do five jumping jacks at any point when you remember to do that.

[00:20:23] You can just get up and do five jumping jacks. So that was my goal for the week. Spoiler alert, I did not, was not successful with that goal somehow, but that's an example, like a really small goal. Or maybe it's like I will have this conversation with my parents and use the conversation outline that we did in session, or I will try and.

[00:20:43] Meditate one time this week, or use my deep breathing skill. So give yourself a couple of goals and then when you come back to your session next week, the first thing that I normally do is check in on those goals. Like, okay, how was your bedtime routine? Did you use your skills? Do you have that conversation?

[00:20:59] How did it go? And it's a great way of like checking in on things you're trying to implement outside of session, Having the accountability. Reach those goals. And then if you don't problem solving, going back to the drawing board and think, Okay, what can we do this week to make that goal even easier or more achievable, or make it more likely that you're gonna be able to follow through with that.

[00:21:21] So that's what I love about setting tangible goals. And then also following up on them is key. and if your therapist is great, hopefully they will be writing it down the goals too. And when you come to session, they're like, My therapist always like flips back a couple pages and it's like, okay, how was this thing that we talked about working on?

[00:21:39] And I'm like, You know what? Either like it went great or like I completely forgot about that because we're human and sometimes that happens. But it's an amazing thing to implement in your therapy sessions, whether it's your therapist is kind of spearheading that, or it's you that's starting down these goals and then bringing them up at the beginning of your sessions. when I was explaining that, I mentioned one goal that I had at one point was calling my therapist and asking for help and like practicing that skill and. That is one thing that I wanna add here. If you're working with a new therapist or you just have never asked your therapist for help between sessions, and ask your therapist if that's something that they offer.

[00:22:16] Some therapists don't like you meet them once a week and then you follow up. But in D B T, phone coaching and being able to call your therapist between sessions is standard. So, Practicing that skill and feeling really confident in your ability to ask for help in crisis is key and will help you get a lot more out of therapy and that therapeutic relationship.

[00:22:37] So if you are starting with a new therapist, you've never asked for help before, make that one of your goals to practice. Calling I and checking in. I remember when I was at residential, when we would go on visits and have spend time with family members, they would always, no matter what, be like, Okay, you gotta call the unit twice and just check in.

[00:22:54] and you are making that appointment to call and they'll be like, Okay, like what skills did you do? What have you been doing? How are things going? And it's not only great to like check in and make sure that things are on track, but it gives you an opportunity to ask for help and bring anything up that might be difficult or challenging.

[00:23:14] I don't know about you guys, but if I didn't, if I hadn't had an appointment where I'm like, I said, Okay, I'm gonna call it this time just to check in regardless of how I'm feeling, and I was like not doing so well, I probably would not call. I'd be like, I'll figure it out myself for like, it's not that big of an issue or whatever.

[00:23:31] Explain away why I wouldn't ask for help. But if I've already agreed, like I said, I was gonna call it 8:00 PM and check in and just say hi. And I'm actually also very stressed and overwhelmed. I'm more likely to be like, Okay, I'm actually not feeling so great. What can I. . And, and the other point here, like I mentioned, is preparing for when you are in crisis mode.

[00:23:50] So having built that muscle of asking for help, not having that anxiety of, okay, if I've call my therapist, what are they gonna say? Is it gonna be awkward? How do I explain to them that I need help? So whether that's practicing, setting a text and getting rid of that like anxiety barrier of like, I've never texted my therapist.

[00:24:07] What do I even say? Or I've never called my therapist before. How do I even begin the conversation? Getting rid of that anxiety barrier before you really do need that support is another great way to get more out of therapy. The last thing that I wanna mention, which I feel like is a little bit more vague, but you might be able to relate to. It's whenever I started a new therapist or had an emotionally challenging week, I kind of knew what I wanted to talk about when I was going into sessions. I remember vividly when I was doing D B T, when I was still at home, before I'd gone to residential.

[00:24:39] I was really, really struggling and I was switching therapists and at this point we, we were not in a good spot. I remember I really liked the therapist I was working with, but she was finishing her post. She was a postdoc and she was finishing her time at Stanford or whatever it was. I don't remember what it was called, but she was moving back to the East coast and she was starting a new job.

[00:25:04] So I was gonna get a new therapist, and I had really liked working with her. I hadn't fully gotten to the point where I was like, Things are changing and I feel better. But I felt validated by her. I felt understood. It was a safe place to talk about what I was experiencing. She was a really great resource for me, and we had had that therapeutic relationship established.

[00:25:23] and I remember my emotional state at that point when I was told, Okay, you're switching therapist. You're getting a new therapist. I was like, I'm done with therapy. Like I am quitting therapy. This is not happening. I don't want a new therapist. I don't wanna work with anyone else. They're not gonna understand me as well.

[00:25:43] I'm not gonna feel as great about my progress. I don't wanna do it. I'm done. I'm quoting therapy. It is. I was a freshman in high school at this point, and it became a whole giant, big crisis thing. I was like in a park. I was not telling my parents where I was going. I came back and was just so anxious I couldn't move.

[00:26:03] They thought I had been like drugged or something. You were like, Sadie, are you okay? I was just laying on the ground like shaking. It was just very anxious. I was feeling very overwhelmed. I didn't have a lot of skills. It was not a good moment. But when I went into, when I eventually got to the point where I went into that next session with my therapist, Lord knows how I got to that point.

[00:26:24] I don't remember that part of the story. , but I went into the session and we began it kind of normally and she was like, Okay, like nice to meet you. Talk to me about like how things are going, How is your week? And we kind of just like beat around the bush with regards to this giant crisis mental breakdown I'd had.

[00:26:41] And I don't know if she was aware of it, but. I was beating around the bush, I was avoiding it. And I remember the more we had this conversation, the more emotional I was feeling. The more, almost like tearful I was getting, the more overwhelmed I was getting. And I just started crying. That wasn't funny.

[00:26:56] Sorry. I am still not the greatest at expressing my emotions, but I started crying and I was just so overwhelmed and I just like broke down. And when I was like, I'm so nervous about, I don't, I don't even think I was able to. Verbalize and explain like, I'm nervous about meeting with a new therapist and I don't know if you're gonna get me and all this kind of stuff, but I just was crying and I was like, I don't wanna do therapy.

[00:27:22] I feel so hopeless and overwhelmed and nothing's working and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just went straight to the point and talked about exactly what my biggest challenge, concern, point of thing that I needed support was and just like laid it all out in the. . We talked through it. We worked through it.

[00:27:41] We talked about skills. We made a crisis plan, and I ended up having a really, really great relationship with that therapist. I actually ended up liking her more, I think, than the previous therapist, and I loved working with her. I remember that was one of the biggest things about going to residential where I was like, No, I wanna keep working with her.

[00:27:58] Like, what do you mean I can't stay here and continue to work with. And I was in a spot where I needed more support. So that was kind of why that wasn't an option. But we ended up having a great relationship and I attribute that. I mean, she was an amazing therapist, and DBT is wonderful, but one thing that really helped with that was coming into sessions and just.

[00:28:17] Saying what I wanted to say and not doing this awkward dance of like, okay, like yeah, let's check in on like how my morning routine is going. Or let's check in on like this, something that's not really what's challenging me. So I found over the years that I kind of know what I wanna talk about when I go into a therapy session, whether it's a conflict or I'm like, I am not loving this part of life right now, or I'm feeling so overwhelmed, whatever it is.

[00:28:41] I know kind of what my biggest concern is at the moment, and so I will challenge myself. It's not always easy, but to go into sessions and bring that up is the first thing that I want to talk about and just lay it all out there because I found that otherwise I'm not fully able to pay attention to what I'm talking about.

[00:28:57] I'm not fully absorbing what my therapist is saying because I'm just like already anxious and have emotions towards this other. So that would be my last piece of advice is if you can relate to that, where you kind of know what you wanna talk about. But anxiety gets in the way of addressing it. Like bite the bullet, you can do it.

[00:29:13] Use your skills, do your deep breathing. But it has been so helpful for the therapeutic relationship and finding therapy helpful and supportive and effective. . So I hope all those tips were helpful and those fun little anecdotes about me throughout my therapy journey. And I forgot to mention this at the beginning, but I have obviously done a a lot of therapy in my day.

[00:29:34] I would say for a 19 year old I have worked with. At least seven or eight therapists, like that's probably a low estimate. I've worked with a lot of different people and there's a spectrum of what has been effective and what I've felt seen and heard and validated versus like, this was just not a good fit.

[00:29:51] But I do feel like those specific goals and things that you can implement that I mentioned in this episode helped me get the most out of therapy and helped me see the most progress and change and feel the most supported, and feel the most validated. also, regardless of who you're working with, none of those I feel like are super specific to what kind of therapy you're doing or who exactly you're talking to.

[00:30:13] So I really hope those are helpful. I hope that if you do implement them, you find them helpful. And let me know if you guys have any therapy tips that have helped you get the most out of your sessions, because it's truly the, the energy you bring to it. I did at least a year of therapy where I would just go into these sessions and I would run out the clock and not the typical run at the clock where you just talk about random things.

[00:30:35] But I would sit and I would stare at the ground and watch the clock tick and say nothing. And it was because I, I didn't wanna be in therapy. There was no emotional investment. I didn't believe it could work. It was something my parents were like, We, we gotta do this. Something's not working.

[00:30:48] But I wasn't necessarily like involved in that. And, That's a tough thing to navigate as a teen if you're, if you're going through that, I, I completely relate to you and it's so, so, so challenging. So when you get to the point where you're like, This could be a good opportunity, I could get something out of it if I try.

[00:31:06] Maybe these tips will, will be, be effective. And so much of therapy is again, not only what you bring to sessions and what you talk about, but then what you implement outside of the session and using your skills and being consistent and then using therapies a way to be held accountable and and be supported.

[00:31:25] But so much of it is all the other hours outside of that one hour a week. I hope this episode was helpful. Thank you so much for listening. I really do appreciate it. As always, if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to share with a friend or family member, and if you post about it on social media, tag me and I'll make sure to repost it and give you a little shout out.

[00:31:44] If you haven't already, make sure to re review on Apple Podcast and Spotify. It really does mean the world to me. And follow along on Instagram and TikTok at She Persisted podcast. Thanks for listen. And I'll see you next week,

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