24. Teenage Break-Up Protocol: How to Figure Out if You Need to End a Relationships, the 8-Step Approach to Ending it, and Break-Up Horror Stories!

Apr 25

listen to this episode:

In this episode, Steph and I sit down to go through break-up protocol! Like we mentioned in today's episode, we're not experts, just speaking from experience and hoping to help. If you're in a relationship that feels unsafe, please talk to an adult you trust!

“A break-up is an opportunity to learn, too. It's not easy. But it's a chance to do your best to respect another person's feelings. Ending a relationship — as hard as it is — builds our skills when it comes to being honest and kind during difficult conversations.” - https://kidshealth.org/ConnecticutChildrens/en/teens/break-up.html#

The 8 steps we outlined to breakup with your SO...

1. Tell your SO you have something important to talk about with them

2. Start by saying something you appreciate about the other person

3. Explain the primary reason why you believe that you should break up

4. Say, very clearly, that you want to break up.

5. Apologize for hurting them

6. Say something positive while not being invalidating

7. Listen to what they have to say

8. Give the other person space

About She Persisted (formerly Nevertheless, She Persisted)

After a year and a half of intensive treatment for severe depression and anxiety, 18-year-old Sadie recounts her journey by interviewing family members, professionals, and fellow teens to offer self-improvement tips, DBT education, and personal experiences. She Persisted is the reminder that someone else has been there too and your inspiration to live your life worth living.

a note: this is an automated transcription so please ignore any accidental misspellings!

Sadie: Alright. Welcome back to another episode of nevertheless, she persisted. Today I'm here with my good friend Stephanie. Thanks for coming on. Nevertheless, she persisted. Stephanie,

Stephanie: of course. Thank you so much for having me.

Sadie: Of course.

So can you introduce yourself to listeners, know a little bit about you and whose voice they're hearing in their ears.

Stephanie: Of course. hi everyone. I'm Stephanie. I'm 16. in my free time, I really like to play soccer. I'm also really into baking. Um, yeah, and I'm super excited to be on this podcast today.

Sadie: Awesome. So today we're talking about break up etiquette, which you such a big topic to cover. There's like so many little things. Stephanie, and I talk about this all the time, like the number of conversations we've had like over the phone and over text about like how do we break up with this person? Or like.

Is this like a good way to go about this or just seeing how it goes with other people. We have so many opinions on this, so I thought she'd be perfect to come on and weigh in her opinion so we can establish what is important when breaking up with someone because that is a huge issue that teenagers have to navigate and face.

Stephanie: Absolutely. We talk about this all the time and I think it's super, super important that you know, when you're going into this that this is something that you're considering. You make sure that you consider all the possible outcomes and you're prepared and you really know what you're getting yourself into.

Sadie: Totally. So I was seeing it'd be fun if we talk like a little bit, we can go back and forth and figure out like what the basics are, what we agree. You need to think about what the protocol should be. And then in the end I have some breakup horror stories. We want to go over those also. Um, so yeah, I think that's the layout we'll do, but yeah.

Do you have anything else you want to add before we get started?

Stephanie: Let's jump right in.

Sadie: Alrighty. So. The first thing I would say is you really, really have to think about this decision before you go into it like this. Maybe you're the kind of person who like in an argument, you're like, we're done. We're broken up.

Sure, fine. Do your thing. When I am like deciding whether like I want to end a relationship or not, I have to think about it for so long and weigh the pros and cons out so much.

Stephanie: I'm the exact same way. I have to know that this is exactly the right decision and that I'm fully committed to separating away from this person and that it's not just, you know, we're, we're going to take a quick break and maybe we'll get back together later.

But this is actually a decision that I've made, that I am not going to pursue a relationship with this person any further. Cause I'm not the type of person who's like, Oh, like we're done, whatever. And then I move on. it's suddenly a much more serious consideration for me.

Sadie: So I think we should first talk about like what are reasons you should break up with someone? Like just to get that out of the way. If any of these are like things that you're experiencing or things that come to mind, maybe just play around with the idea and maybe talk to a friend. Ask like I don't, like, I would never talk to my parents about breaking up with someone.

But like if you're close to your parents, like maybe ask them, but like a friend, go to a sibling. Maybe come to this podcast and if any of these like apply to you, apply to your relationship, maybe just be like, am I in the right relationship? Is this good for me? So. According to psychology today, they say like the main red flags in a relationship are lack of communication, somewhat being with someone that's like irresponsible and mature, unpredictable when there isn't any trust, that's a big red flag. Um, when your close family and your close friends don't like your partner, that's a, that's a really big red flag.

Yeah. And that was hard because I've been in relationships before where I'd been like, my parents don't know this person.

Like they haven't met them. They just have no reason to not like them. But honestly, looking back, the vibe that your friends and family get from someone normally is right. Like in the moment I am the first person to like defend that person, the ad and be like, no, I like really, really like him. Like. What are you talking about?

You just don't know him. Like he's really nice and funny. Like, Stephanie, you probably know who I'm talking about with this. People don't like him, but for some reason I have that weakness and I'm like, no, no, no. Like he's super nice. But when you step back and after you're out of that relationship, or when you're in like a really good state of mind, you're like, Whoa, wait, hold on.

Like. No. Like my parents didn't like him. My siblings thought he was kind of odd. My close friends don't like being around him. They're all right. This guy's like a douche or whatever.

Stephanie: Right. What's so interesting is that we're often like such poor observers of our own relationships because our friends and family can see how the relationship is affecting us way better than we can.

So it's really important to listen to what they have to say and to take their advice. I would definitely, yeah. Yeah.

Sadie: And then the rest of the red flags they say is like feeling really insecure about your relationship if the person you're dating has like, like really keeps a lot of secrets about like their past and what went on before.

And another thing I want to bring up about that, like I am one person, of course, I'm very open and vulnerable on this podcast about my struggles with mental health and my past relating to that. But in real life when I'm getting to know someone, friends or romantically, I definitely wait a little bit to share that part of me or don't ever share the entire thing because it can be so.

Like it's a lot to dump on someone. It's a lot for them to handle. And I have like my support system and I know how to handle that myself. So I think it's important to kind of draw the line of when they're being secretive or like put, keeping things in the dark purposely where they're respecting their own privacy and moving on from something emotionally.

Stephanie: Absolutely. And some other reasons I would say it's right to break up are, you know, less on the red flag site, but more in just observing your relationship. It's, you know, if it doesn't feel right anymore, if you're not, if you don't have the same expectations for relationships. So maybe one of you is looking for.

More of a casual fling versus like a serious committed relationship. or even just like arguing more than you're having fun. If it's, if it's really something that feels forced and it seems like the chemistry is faded away, then maybe you should reconsider, you know, what that relationship is doing for you.

Sadie: Yeah. Another thing is like if it's verbally or physically abusive, like that is a huge red flag and I don't think we should get too far into that because I personally haven't had a lot of experience with those kinds of relationships. There's lots of different protocols to go through when ending those relationships to maintain your safety and your family's safety.

So we're not going to get into that. This is just little. Like spiffs and issues in teenage relationships that aren't affecting your like physical or emotional health severely. And if you are experiencing that like a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, finding an adult you trust, find a counselor, find a therapist, find someone you can talk to about that.

But again, maybe don't necessarily follow these direct pieces of advice for that kind of relationship.

Stephanie: Yes.

Sadie: So with that being said, we talked about like big red flags, some other things. I think the biggest one for me is like if you're just like not attracted to them anymore. I feel like there's been times when I really want something to work.

Like I so badly think like I would like to like someone or there's no reason I shouldn't like them, but I'm just not attracted them and I wish I was like, I wish I really did like them and saw a future.

Stephanie: I just remember your most recent fling, Matt. It was, we had all these discussions about like. How it seemed so perfect on paper. And then you know, when you're hanging out, it just doesn't click in that way that you want it to. And I think it's really important to recognize that that's a totally valid reason for ending a relationship romantically because it is totally fine if you enjoy hanging out with that person to continue that relationship platonically but it's really important that you set your expectations and you set those boundaries very clearly and that there isn't any gray area there.

Sadie: Yeah, and with this guy, he was like cute. He was really nice. Like he'd go and like, he'd take me to dinner and he was so nice to my family. He was like really tall.

Stephanie: And he was like friends with our other friends with our other friends boyfriends, so it just worked really well.

Sadie: You could like double date and stuff and he was so nice and I was like, I so badly want this to work.

This would be such a nice thing for me. And I just did it every single time I hang out, hung out with him. I was just attracted to him less and less and less. And it was like, I so badly wanted to work it to work and I felt so bad about like ending these with him, but I just like couldn't do it. Like I wasn't attracted to him and I couldn't like with a good conscious go on and continue to lead them on because I just didn't like him.

Now we're going to talk a little bit about like the steps you can take if you want, like a really outlined approach to breaking up with someone.

Stephanie: This is really because, um, it's so, so important to not avoid this conversation because avoiding it just prolongs it.

It doesn't make anything better. And dragging things out just makes it so much harder in the long run because especially because you never want the person you're breaking up with to hear it from someone else before they hear it from you. So we wanted to make it as simple as possible to start having this conversation, to make it super, super clear, like what your goals and what your expectations and.

What's your most ideal outcome from this conversation? Just so that you don't have any reason to delay. If you follow these steps it's going to be, you know, the easiest possible route to take. Yeah, exactly.

Sadie: The longer you delay it, they notice like if you're really connected to someone, whether it's like a friendship, a family member, or a romantic relationship, when you're acting different, when you're withdrawing, when you change the way you are around them, like they can tell, they're going to know that something's coming.

They're going to assume the worst. They're going to like, okay, I'm going to get dumped. Why won't they just do it already? So if you're upfront and open a lot of the time. They will be more like, I don't want to say it'll make the whole situation better, but there'll be more understanding and open than if you've been acting like shady for days and you haven't been like reaching out or talking to them because you know you're going to break up with them and they don't know yet.

Stephanie: Exactly. Okay, so the first step is that you're going to tell your significant other that you have something important to talk about with them. This is because it's really important that you don't just hit, hit them with a, like "we should break up" out of the blue because that's can be kind of insensitive,

Sadie: but it's also really important. Like if they're not expecting it. It's like, Oh my God, like what are you, it's awful.

Stephanie: Yeah. But also like when you're saying this, don't make them nervous or worry them. Just emphasize that a conversation needs to happen and um, you should be good.

Sadie: Oh my God. Okay. So after like we have to also do a how to handle getting dumped episode.

Stephanie: Yeah! Oh my God.

Sadie: That's our used to watch like what foods to eat, like what to do with your friends. Oh my God,

Stephanie: we should just do this every week until we like run out of topics. Literally have so many topics,

Sadie: literally. Okay. All right. So the next step is to start by saying something that you like appreciate about the person and we want to stay away from the, you're really great. Like I really like you, but, but say like, we've been really close for a long time and you really important to me or I really value like how honest we are with each other. So I wanted to tell you this, like put a foundation for why you're being upfront, because you value this relationship and because you do care about them and because you know that they can handle hearing this.

Stephanie: Exactly. And this leads directly to step three, which is where you explain the main reason why you believe that you should break up. And you have to be super clear, super upfront. some examples are, but it just doesn't feel right anymore. But I'm not ready to have a serious relationship right now or, but we're are doing more than we're having fun.

Just like give your main quick reason that's super clear and conveys exactly the main rea--on why you think that you guys should split up.

Sadie: Totally. And I mean, I know it's hard, like maybe the reason is like you're not attracted to them and that's like awful to have to say to someone's face, be like, Hey, like I just don't find you attractive.

Like that doesn't mean that's awful. I wouldn't want to say that to someone. I'm sure it'd be uncomfortable for other people to say so you can say like, I like, I definitely pulled the card before where I'm like, I just don't want to have a relationship. It's a little bit of a cop out, but it's okay because it is true.

Like you don't want to have a relationship--with them. But like, you don't have to say that. So you can choose a reason that's more vague. You don't have to be like, I really don't like it that you don't text me every night and that you never call me and that you never hang out with me. And like give them 67 reasons why, you can just give one broad reason that's not to pointed not to mean. And if you can try and avoid like the, 'but' directly after you say something nice because it kind of like erases what you just said. So if you're like, you're so great, but I just don't like you like there. So make sure the first part.

Stephanie: Exactly. You have to make sure that you finish your first sentence before you move on.

To explaining why you think that it's a good idea that you might separate. And that's step four, which is saying very, very clearly that you want to break up. So literally you can say, so I want to break up, or I want us to be friends but not go out, or I want to stay friendly, but I don't want to be your significant other anymore or anything like that.

I'm not sure really work, but this is where you are super clear. There is no gray area. This is very, very obvious to your significant other that this is the conversation that you were having and this is your ideal outcome from the, as the result of this conversation.

Sadie: Yeah. And you want to apologize for if you feel like you're like hurting their feelings and you like, so I'm like, I'm really sorry about this.

Like I know maybe they're going through a lot right now. Maybe you don't want. Like you want to apologize for the fact that you have to put them through this, but you don't want to feel genuinely guilty because you're advocating for what you emotionally need. You're telling them that you like can't be in this relationship anymore, and that's truly valid.

That's truly okay. You're not apologizing for the feelings. You're apologizing for, like how you might be hurting them and make sure, again, you're not apologizing for how you're feeling or your emotions or what you need out of the relationship.

Stephanie: So the quote that you're literally saying for this step five is like, I don't want to hurt you, or I'm sorry if this isn't the way you wanted things to be, or I'm sorry if this hurts you just be super direct about it.

But then in step six, you can say something super positive and uplifting. So something like, I know you'll be okay. I know we'll always care about each other. I'm so glad that I got the chance to get to know you. And I know there's another person who will be happy to have a chance to go out with you.

So make sure that you're ending on a note that is uplifting. And that really shows that you respect this other person and, you know, you don't regret all the positive memories that you shared together.

Sadie: Yeah. And so after that, like after you've done your little spiel, you can even use like the DEARMAN, like protocol that we talked about a couple of episodes ago.

But after you've said what you want to say, you're going to listen to what they have to say. And if you are in like a serious relationship, and if you do have an emotional connection with this person, they're probably going to be pretty angry. Like they're going to be upset. You're going to hear that, and they're going to have probably a reaction.

And you just want to sit back. You want to let them experience their emotions, be patient with that, and really just give them their space to have that emotional experience. And then what's best after that is step eight, just to give the other person space and let them process that. Let them get through that.

Because if like I know in my experience when I've still liked someone, the most difficult thing is being around them or seeing them or still talking to them because I, even though they don't have feelings like I still do. And so it's awful to like you still like someone and know that they don't like you back and you still feel like the dynamics have changed even though it's changed for them.

How they view it.

Stephanie: Exactly. Exactly. So just making sure that you're only attempting to be friends with them once you are completely over the idea of dating them and you know that they're also completely over the idea of dating you, it's really, really important that you rate that you wait until you get that, um, get to that stage because you know, it can probably be pretty negative if you.

Sadie: Yeah, and there's like no timeline for that. Everyone takes different amounts of time to get over to relationships. I know for me, sometimes it's been years before I can finally be like. I don't like that person at all. Like I would never picture being in a relationship with them because I cared so much about them and we were so close and other people just takes a couple of days, a couple of weeks, especially if you're the one breaking up with someone, it's normally much easier to get over them.

And as soon as you break up with them and like, okay, we're done. Like. Easy wouldn't think about dating them, but when you're getting dumped, sometimes it takes a really long time to get over that and get to that, get past that step of moving past the relationship. .

Stephanie: Yeah, exactly. so just to recap, step one is warning. I guess your, SO that you have something important to talk to talk to them about. Step two is start starting by saying something you appreciate about them. Step three is explaining the primary reason why you should break up. Step four is really, really clearly articulating that you want to break up.

Step five is apologizing for hurting them. Step six is saying something positive. Step seven is listening and step eight is giving that other person's space. So take notes, people, because this is the easiest way to make sure that you and your significant other can respectfully split apart from each other and you no longer have an excuse to avoid the conversation.

All you need to do is those eight steps and boom, you are officially going to be broken up.

Sadie: So some last like notes and details that we just want you to think about when you are going through a breakup or whatever it is that you are. Trying to do to, and the relationship. The first one is be firm, which is like, no apologies. Stick to what you're saying. We talked about this in a DEARMAN episode, but you've decided you've weighed the pros and cons and you are firm with this decision.

You're not going to go back on it. So keep in like stay true to yourself with that decision that you've made and don't be like, I'm so sorry. You're right. We shouldn't break up. Be firm.

Stephanie: Exactly. The second thing is to allow yourself to be sad, even though you are the one who's initiating the breakup. A breakup is a sign of in compatibility and some things that can be difficult to recognize and difficult to admit and difficult to move on from.

So, you know, let yourself have those emotions and don't feel it just because you initiated the breakup that you don't have the right to feel sad because you know you're, you're losing your significant other too.

Sadie: And then when you're weighing the pros and cons of ending a relationship, before you get to the step of breaking up, it's important to give.

Like let's say you want to break off because. Your significant other never makes time to call you. So say that's the biggest issue. Say that's the reason why you want to break up. It's really important that you give them the time to try and change that and try and like give them that feedback. Say like, I noticed you don't ever call me.

It would make me feel a lot more connected and loved if you talk to me on the phone more. So give them the time to try and fix that before you immediately jump into trying to break up with them.

Stephanie: Yeah. Um, and then just a few final things. Definitely don't rush into the difficult conversation without being prepared.

Now that we've given you sort of an eight step outline, just make sure that you think through what you're going to say so that you're clear with yourself about why you want to break up. Um, just so you avoid saying things that you might regret and so that you're doing what's right for you, um, and being sensitive towards them.

And then. Finally, never ever, ever break up via text. It's really simple. Just don't do it.

Sadie: Oh, I've done that before. Okay, well wait. Let's go through protocol for this. If you are in a relationship where you are like girlfriend and boyfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend, whatever it is, yes. If you're in a committed relationship, you've been dating for a while, to the point where you're like, yeah, this is my significant other.

Don't break over over text like please don't do it. However, if you are,

Stephanie: if you have defined your relationship with the label, like boyfriend and girlfriend, then I feel like you're at the level where you're like exclusive enough where if you're exclusive to

Sadie: them and like date.

Stephanie: Exactly.

Sadie: Exactly. But if it's like a hangout, a hookup, whatever it is that you're not boyfriend and girlfriend, a text can be okay in certain situations.

You just have to weigh. How serious the relationship is, but if you've crossed that to like, we are girlfriend and boyfriend and we are boyfriend and boyfriend whatever it is, do not break up with them over text is the most insensitive, rude, like awful thing. Please don't. Exactly, it's easier. It's a cop out, but don't do it.

Stephanie: And even if you physically cannot meet up for some reason um COVID-19 then I would suggest breaking up over FaceTime. A video call is the next best. Get

Sadie: on zoom before your next class,

Stephanie: but do your best to say it in person cause it really is an in person conversation. And the other really important thing is don't break up in a super public space because the other person might feel intimitated in what they have to say and might feel embarrassed about their emotions. And especially if there's other people around, especially if it's other people that, you know, it just might be a much more traumatic situation for them than it has to be.

So my suggestion would be a neutral space that just doesn't have a lot of people around. Um, and this can be like. Well, I guess the only places I've initiated it or like the other thing I was going to say was like, like at their house, you can leave when you're ready. where else would you suggest?

Sadie: Um, like a neutral place.

Like, like a park, like go to,

Stephanie: yeah, I was going to say

get dinner or

Sadie: something like that. Go on a walk. A walk is a good one on don't just do it right before, like an event or something. You have to go to together. A Family , I've been dumped before, a family dinner before, like with his family and he didn't tell his parents.

He was breaking up with me . And so that was, um, so just be thoughtful about that. Think about you don't want to put them through that after you've just like emotionally hurt them. Um. And we'll do more episodes. We'll talk about how to handle getting dumped, like, um, what else?

Stephanie: So I guess we should just say like,

Sadie: how did the size

Stephanie: possible space.

Sadie: Yeah. But you can go, I don't know.

Stephanie: So the best possible spaces for you to break up with someone or neutral spaces. So think like going for a walk, going to a park, something like that. Or even an empty classroom if you have to break up at school for some reason. Um, but my suggestion would probably be if you, you know, if none of those options are working for you, then maybe do it at their house so that you can leave on your own terms when you are ready.

Um. But yeah, definitely make sure that you're not breaking up in front of a lot of people. Make sure that you're not breaking up at a really inconvenient time, like right before a really big event, or, um, you know, a really important. Something, I don't really know,

Sadie: like a big test. If they have something like super big coming up, like they have this big project or they are really nervous about this presentation, try and be thoughtful.

Maybe say, let me just wait until after this is done so that I don't add more stress to them. Maybe they're taking the sat in a couple of weeks, like, please just wait. Um, maybe a couple of weeks is fine, but like the next day. Or something like that. So just weigh those options. I know Stephanie, you're doing that right now with like weighing, like when a good time is given.

The fact that like support systems are readily accessible right now given the self quarantining. So keep those things in mind. Have compassion for the other person. So, yeah. All right. The other thing I know that I do, I would definitely say more often than not, I'm the one being dumped. So this is multiple.

However, if you have like find yourself dumping someone more than once, especially if it's like a casual thing. If you have like your thoughts written out for when you want to end a relationship, write it down. Put it in your notes, like the points, like you don't want to be in a relationship. You really respect them and how nice they were.

And go back to those ideas that you've established as true and valid for you, and you can workshop those into a breakup, text, a breakup call, whatever it is.

Stephanie: Yes, exactly.

Sadie: So yeah. What else should we talk about?

Stephanie: And we can do some horror stories if you want.

Sadie: Oh my God. Okay. So let's see. Let me count here. So not all these were serious, like the first one was literally in the sixth grade, like it was a middle school relationship, and that time I was jumped.

What I learned from that experience, this boy did. He's not a man. He's boy, so he's sixth grade. He didn't know how to break up with someone. Totally get it. I'm sorry bud. But he told all of his friends who told the entire class that he is going to break up with me before he broke up with me. So when my friends came up to him, I was like, did you get dumped yet?

And I was like, what are you talking about? Like my relationship is going great. And they were like, Oh, okay. So that's why we caution you. Like we said earlier. Please don't tell other people before you tell this person, unless you trust them and you're using them for support. Just make sure that respect the person that you're breaking up with enough to tell them first.

Stephanie: Yeah. Okay.

Sadie: That makes total sense. Yeah. Next horror story. The next relationship was like a little more serious. I dumped them. This was super, a bad experience. He did not like this. He was like, no, we can't break up like we're not breaking up. Like he wouldn't let me leave the situation, which is again, why I say like the public area that's neutral, like we were like.

he was like, no, no, no, you can't leave. And I was like, no. Yes, I am like, this is so uncomfortable. Please let me go. So neutral space, public space. So if the person reacts badly, they can't scream, they can't do whatever, and you can leave the situation.

Stephanie: Oh my God.

Sadie: Okay. That's what I learned from that one. And then next one, next time I got dumped. I was not expecting it at all. It was the worst breakup I've ever gone through. I cried for like three days straight, and what I learned from that one is, please don't do it before you have an event or you have to be around a bunch of other people.

Because he dumped me and proceeded to bring me to his family dinner where his parents were like, Oh, this is so cute. Like. Sadie, do you like his hair short or long? Like what do you think is cute? Or like having all these conversations and I'm sitting here like, I just got dumped, like they don't know this and I just have to pretend like nothing happened.

So if you are having like a family dinner, if you're seeing a bunch of friends that you're not close to, if you have an event, anything, please do not dump them right before that.

Stephanie: Yeah, that okay. Yeah. That speaks for itself.

Sadie: And then the next relationship was, I was in, I got dumped over text and this guy was just like, Oh, actually, like I just like don't wanna hang out anymore.

And that was, there was some amount of relief because it was like, he was like at least acknowledged that something wasn't going well before. We were both just like. Avoiding the topic and avoiding discussing it, but again, put some time into the text. Please make it more than one sentence. Like at least value the person to enough to validate that like you liked them, like you valued their time, you had a relationship.

And then the last relationship I ended, I sent a really nice text. I felt so bad because he was so nice, but I felt good about that. I wrote out what my thoughts were, how I felt about it, and I feel like I pretty well communicated what I wanted to say. Let's see if I can find it. Read it. That was

Stephanie: a really, really well written text.

I remember like seeing that good stuff.

Sadie: Um, this is why if you are doing a breakup text, get your therapist to help you write it. Okay. What?

Stephanie: That's so genius.

Sadie: Okay. So I have like a couple different drafts. Like when you could say like, Hey, I've been thinking about it and I'm realizing the whole dating thing is kind of a lot for me given like the distance between us, like school being busy.

Insert your thing there. I hope you understand. I just wanted to let you know where my head's at as soon as possible. Another one you could say, Hey, I want to be honest. I'm not sure your opinion, but I'm really not feeling this. We just aren't connecting. Another easy thing to start a conversation and let them know where you're at.

And then another one, Hey, we've hung out a few times and it makes me sad, but I'm just not feeling a connection. It's hard to say because you've been so kind and respectful to me. I want to be fair to you and let you know where my head is at sooner rather than later. I hope you can understand though. I respected.

If you don't, so that when you're giving them time to process it, have an emotional reaction. And you're also staying true to your, like assert that you are breaking up with them and yeah.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Sadie: 10 out of 10.

Stephanie: I don't have any like fun breakup stories. All of mine, I've just been kind of like, okay, like , um, we're going to stop talking and then it's just like, okay.

Sadie: Yeah. And like honestly, sometimes that's like literally the easiest option, you know what I mean? Yeah,

Stephanie: for sure.

Sadie: And it's an easy out and it, it makes sense. Yeah.

Stephanie: I don't really think I have anything to add.

Sadie: Okay, perfect. Alrighty. Thank you so much for coming on this week's episode, Stephanie. We'll be back with like what to do when you get dumped, like relationship advice, all of that.

Don't worry guys.

Stephanie: So, so much relationship advice.

Sadie: Yes. So thank you for coming on this week. Be sure to listen to our next episodes. Thank you again for coming on.

Stephanie: Of course. Anytime. Sadie.

Sadie: Alrighty, bye,

Stephanie: bye.